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Uncle Pirate to the Rescue
by Douglas Rees Tony AuthA badly spelled message in a bottle addressed to Uncle Pirate appears at Wilson's front door, and Mom starts baking bad news pie--this can't be good. Uncle Pirate's formerly mutinous crew is marooned on an island! Though Uncle Pirate is loyal to his new crew at Very Elementary, he cannot desert his old shipmates and sets off to find them. But when he doesn't return, it's Uncle Pirate who needs rescuing! Wilson, Captain Jack the penguin, Ms. Quern the school secretary, and sneaky Principal Purvis set off in a blimp to save the day in this rollicking read that's ideal for adventurous young readers.
Uncle Ronald
by Brian DoyleWinner of the Canadian Library Association Book of the Year Award, and a Horn Book Fanfare Selection Old Mickey is one hundred and twelve years old. He can't remember what he ate for lunch today, but he can remember every detail of what happened one hundred years ago, when he and his mother ran away from his violent father to take refuge in the hills north of Ottawa. Brilliantly combining humor and tragedy, the award-winning Uncle Ronald is one of Brian Doyle's most emotionally powerful novels.
Uncle Sarge
by Bonnie Gardner"Kids aren't my specialty."U.S. Air Force Combat Controller Rich Larsen could parachute into danger in a moment's notice. But being besieged by his convalescing sister's two demanding children was an entirely different matter. Well, desperate means called for extreme measures. So the overwhelmed Uncle Sarge sent out an SOS to the pretty lady who had reunited him with his family.Before long, Jennifer Bishop worked a miracle on Rich's adorable wards-and on his heart. So much so that the rootless loner could almost picture them having a family of their own someday. Trouble was, a love-wary Jennifer had sworn off military men. Good thing Rich never backed away from a challenge!
Uncle of the Year: & Other Debatable Triumphs
by Andrew RannellsFrom the star of The Book of Mormon and Girls, candid, hilarious essays on anxiety, ambition, and the uncertain path to adulthood that ask: How will we know when we get there? &“With the unsparing eye of David Sedaris and the social wisdom of Nora Ephron, Andrew Rannells tackles the most foundational questions of growing up.&”—Lena DunhamIn Uncle of the Year, Andrew Rannells wonders: If he, now in his forties, has everything he&’s supposed to need to be an adult—a career, property, a well-tailored suit—why does he still feel like an anxious twenty-year-old climbing his way toward solid ground? Is it because he hasn&’t won a Tony, or found a husband, or had a child? And what if he doesn&’t want those things? (A husband and a child, that is. He wants a Tony.) In deeply personal essays drawn from his life as well as his career on Broadway and in Hollywood, Rannells argues that we all pretend—for friends, partners, parents, and others—that we are constantly succeeding in the process known as &“adulting.&” But if this acting is leaving us unfulfilled, then we need new markers of time, new milestones, new expectations of what adulthood is and can be. Along the way, Rannells navigates dating, aging, mental health, bad jobs, and much more. In his essay &“Uncle of the Year,&” he explores the role that children play in his life, as a man who never thought having kids was necessary or even possible—until his siblings have kids and he falls in love with a man with two of his own. In &“Always Sit Next to Mark Ruffalo,&” he reveals the thrills and absurdities of the awards circuit, and the desire to be recognized for one&’s work. And in &“Horses, Not Zebras,&” he shares the piece of wisdom that helped him finally come to terms with his anxiety and perfectionism. Filled with honest insights and a sharp wit, Uncle of the Year challenges us to take a long look at who we&’re pretending to be, who we know we are, and who we want to become.
Unclean Jobs for Women and Girls: Stories (Art Of The Story Ser.)
by Alissa NuttingIn this darkly comic and surreal collection from celebrated author Alissa Nutting, misfit women scramble for agency in a series of uncanny circumstancesThroughout these breathtakingly creative seventeen stories spread across time, space, and differing planes of reality, we encounter a host of women and girls in a wide range of unusual jobs. A space cargo deliverywoman enlists the help of her cybersex partner to release her mother from cryogenic prison. Desperate for affection and a more lavish lifestyle, a young woman falls under the corrosive spell of the fashion model for whom she’s given up everything to assist. A woman submits to a procedure that will turn her body into a futuristic ant farm, only to discover the sinister plans of her doctor. Though the settings these women find themselves in are as shocking and unique as they come, the emotional battles they face are searing and real. Some are trying to fight their way out of the cycle of abuse, while others must cope with the anguish brought on by infertility or the aftershocks of an abortion. Still others confront and embrace their most depraved desires, carving out power for themselves in worlds that relentlessly ask for conformity. Wickedly funny yet ringing with deep truths about gender, authority and the ways we inhabit and restrict the female body, Unclean Jobs for Women and Girls is a brilliant commentary on the kaleidoscope of human behavior and a remarkably nuanced satire for our times.
Unconditional Surrender
by Evelyn WaughBy 1941, after serving in North Africa and Crete, Guy Crouchback has lost his Halberdier idealism. A desk job in London gives him the chance of reconciliation with his former wife. Then, in Yugoslavia, as a liaison officer with the partisans, Crouch becomes finally and fully aware of the futility of a war he once saw in terms of honor. Unconditional Surrender is the third novel in Waugh's brilliant Sword of Honor trilogy recording the tumultuous wartime adventures of Guy Crouchback ("the finest work of fiction in English to emerge from World War II" -Atlantic Monthly), which also comprises Men at Arms and Officers and Gentlemen.
Unconditionally: A Novel
by Erin LyonIn a world where marriage doesn’t exist—only seven-year contracts—you don’t marry, you sign. You don’t divorce, you breach. And sometimes, you just expire.In this hilarious conclusion to Erin Lyon's I Love You Subject to the Following Terms and Conditions, Kate has accepted a job practicing signing law, the one type of law she swore she'd never do - especially since what she thought was her very own happily ever after turned into just another expired contract. But between Kate's embarrassing penchant for running into exes in court, clients determined to use her as their very own therapist, and a couple having a knock-down, drag-out over the custody of the family guinea pig, at least the job's never boring.But while Kate finally has a handle on her career, her love life is still, well, complicated. The former love of her life, Jonathan, wants her back. Her current main squeeze, Dave, wants to take things to the next level, but she still can't shake her wolf-in-sheep's-clothing vibe about him. And then there's Adam, her mad crush who really wants to be her friend. So, to sum up, one questionable ex, one player with a capital "P," and one guy who's kind of stolen her heart even though she's in the friend zone. This should be a piece of cake. Unconditionally is both a sweet and sexy romantic comedy and a hilariously relatable look at finding happiness where you least expect it.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Uncovering Her Nine Month Secret
by Jennie Lucas"You wouldn't have been able to resist either, believe me." He broke down my defenses as if they were paper. One dark, unfathomable glance from Alejandro, the notorious Duke of Alzacar, and I was his. It was only later that I realized why he'd seduced me, and I had no choice but to flee. Nine months on, he's found me. No matter how my body and my heart react to him, I can never let the duke take our son away from me. But Alejandro will stop at nothing. I just have one card left to play....
Uncovering the Silveri Secret
by Melanie MilburneCaught between fury...Heiress Bella Haverton is furious that her late father left everything to Edoardo Silveri-her family house, her financial guardianship and, most grating of all, the right to decide who and when she marries! Bella is determined to shake off the intolerable shackles.And passion!Her plan to confront Edoardo spins wildly out of control when she learns that the troubled boy her father adopted is now a commanding, enigmatic man-with lethal sex appeal! With her head warring against her traitorous body, it’s time for Bella to uncover the secrets behind the man who controls her destiny....
Undead (Undead Ser. #1)
by Kirsty McKayOut of sight, out of their minds: It's a school-trip splatter fest and completely not cool when the other kids in her class go all braindead on new girl Bobby.The day of the ski trip, when the bus comes to a stop at a roadside restaurant, everyone gets off and heads in for lunch. Everyone, that is, except Bobby, the new girl, who stays behind with rebel-without-a-clue Smitty. Then hours pass. Snow piles up. Sun goes down. Bobby and Smitty start to flirt. Start to stress. Till finally they see the other kids stumbling back. But they've changed. And not in a good way. Straight up, they're zombies. So the wheels on the bus better go round and round freakin' fast, because that's the only thing keeping Bobby and Smitty from becoming their classmates' next meal. It's kill or be killed in these hunger games, heads are gonna roll, and homework is most definitely gonna be late.Combining the chill of THE SHINING, the thrill ride of SPEED, the humor of SHAUN OF THE DEAD, and the angst of THE BREAKFAST CLUB, Kirsty McKay's UNDEAD is a bloody mad mash-up, a school-trip splatter-fest, a funny, gory, frighteningly good debut!
Undead Ed
by Nigel Baines Rotterly GhoulstoneWhen Ed Bagley wakes up in a yucky sewer --and discovers he's a zombie-- things can't get any weirder! That is, until his evil arm scurries off his shoulder and into the town of Mortlake to cause all sorts of trouble. Un-armed and dangerous, Ed teams up with his werewolf buddy Max Moon to track down his rogue limb and save Mortlake from the evil at the center of it all. This formerly unlucky kid is out to prove he really is all guts! But when he's faced with gross ghouls, wormy wraiths, freaky fat babies, and some seriously sinister clowns, will Ed and his undead friends have enough skin on their bones to save the day? Or will this arm-y prove too tough to hand-le? Hilariously illustrated zombie antics make this the perfect next book for fans of Zombiekins!
Undead Ed and the Fingers of Doom
by Nigel Baines Rotterly GhoulstoneBeing undead is no walk in the park, especially when you've got four extra fingers with a mind of their own! In this third creepy installment, Ed must contend with a nemesis even scarier than an evil clown: the devil himself! Yes, the devil is the one pulling the strings on Ed's weird additional fingers, and Ed must pay him a visit if he ever hopes to be free. But the deeds of Ed's fingers have turned everyone in Mortlake against him. Can he win back his friends and make everything right again? Packed with hilarious black-and-white illustrations and spooky details, Ed's third adventure is his wildest ride yet!
Undead Ed: Undead Ed and the Demon Freakshow
by David GrimstoneForget everything you've ever seen or heard about werewolves, zombies and vampires because Ed Bagley's going to tell you the single most important fact you'll ever learn: BEING UNDEAD SUCKS... especially if you're a kid.As if Ed hasn't enough problems, he's now being hunted by a demented clown, an evil midget and a girl with a sewn up eye. You'd think he wouldn't have much to worry about, being damned to start with, but Ed's beginning to learn that there's something a lot worse than the flames of hell ... An undead circus.
Undead Ed: Undead Ed and the Demon Freakshow
by David GrimstoneForget everything you've ever seen or heard about werewolves, zombies and vampires because Ed Bagley's going to tell you the single most important fact you'll ever learn: BEING UNDEAD SUCKS... especially if you're a kid.As if Ed hasn't enough problems, he's now being hunted by a demented clown, an evil midget and a girl with a sewn up eye. You'd think he wouldn't have much to worry about, being damned to start with, but Ed's beginning to learn that there's something a lot worse than the flames of hell ... An undead circus.
Undead Ed: Undead Ed and the Devil's Fingers
by David GrimstoneForget everything you've ever seen or heard about werewolves, zombies and vampires because Ed Bagley's going to tell you the single most important fact you'll ever learn: BEING UNDEAD SUCKS ... especially if you're a kid.Despite Ed's death, he's finding it really hard to actually ... pass on. Mainly because he's been cursed by an evil clown who made a sick pact with the devil, a pact that has lumbered him with four of Satan's fingers. And now he's killed Evil Clive - the head of Mortlake's dead community, and none of his undead friends can ever forgive him. Ed has no choice but to return these fingers to the devil himself. Then maybe he can get on with the rest of his death in peace ...
Undead Ed: Undead Ed and the Devil's Fingers
by David GrimstoneForget everything you've ever seen or heard about werewolves, zombies and vampires because Ed Bagley's going to tell you the single most important fact you'll ever learn: BEING UNDEAD SUCKS ... especially if you're a kid.Despite Ed's death, he's finding it really hard to actually ... pass on. Mainly because he's been cursed by an evil clown who made a sick pact with the devil, a pact that has lumbered him with four of Satan's fingers. And now he's killed Evil Clive - the head of Mortlake's dead community, and none of his undead friends can ever forgive him. Ed has no choice but to return these fingers to the devil himself. Then maybe he can get on with the rest of his death in peace ...
Undead Ed: Undead Ed and the Howling Moon
by David GrimstoneForget everything you've ever seen or heard about werewolves, zombies and vampires because Ed Bagley's going to tell you the single most important fact you'll ever learn: BEING UNDEAD SUCKS... especially if you're a kid. On his 13th birthday, Ed Bagley is hit by a truck and killed. But things go from tragic to freaky when Ed wakes in the sewers beneath the town of Mortlake with only a note from his missing right arm to explain that he's undead: a zombie, a walking corpse whose skin rots and oozes. And as if all this misfortune wasn't enough, there's a lunatic killer on the loose in Mortlake ... and only Ed can stop him.
Undead Ed: Undead Ed and the Howling Moon
by David GrimstoneForget everything you've ever seen or heard about werewolves, zombies and vampires because Ed Bagley's going to tell you the single most important fact you'll ever learn: BEING UNDEAD SUCKS... especially if you're a kid. On his 13th birthday, Ed Bagley is hit by a truck and killed. But things go from tragic to freaky when Ed wakes in the sewers beneath the town of Mortlake with only a note from his missing right arm to explain that he's undead: a zombie, a walking corpse whose skin rots and oozes. And as if all this misfortune wasn't enough, there's a lunatic killer on the loose in Mortlake ... and only Ed can stop him.
Undead Girl Gang
by Lily AndersonVeronica Mars meets The Craft when a teen girl investigates the suspicious deaths of three classmates and accidentally ends up bringing them back to life to form a hilariously unlikely--and unwilling--vigilante girl gang. <P><P>Meet teenage Wiccan Mila Flores, who truly could not care less what you think about her Doc Martens, her attitude, or her weight because she knows that, no matter what, her BFF Riley is right by her side. <P>So when Riley and Fairmont Academy mean girls June Phelan-Park and Dayton Nesseth die under suspicious circumstances, Mila refuses to believe everyone's explanation that her BFF was involved in a suicide pact. <P>Instead, armed with a tube of lip gloss and an ancient grimoire, Mila does the unthinkable to uncover the truth: she brings the girls back to life. <P>Unfortunately, Riley, June, and Dayton have no recollection of their murders. But they do have unfinished business to attend to. <P>Now, with only seven days until the spell wears off and the girls return to their graves, Mila must wrangle the distracted group of undead teens and work fast to discover their murderer...before the killer strikes again.
Undead Much
by Stacey JayMegan Berry-Zombie Settler extraordinaire-just wants Pom Squad to trounce Cheer Team in this freakishly funny follow-up to You Are So Undead to Me. But someone's turning coma victims into settler-resistant über-zombies-and everyone thinks it's Megan's fault! Well, except for super-creepy male cheerleader Aaron. (Ew!) Meg's also being stalked by a hot-albeit undead- seer named Cliff. Can Cliff's premonitions help Megan stop a zombies-on-ice deathscapade and discover who's really behind the coma-killer crusade before an entire army of undead rise up? And when Megan's boyfriend Ethan grows jealous of Cliff, will it end their intra-settler romance? Stacey Jay's snarky teen-speak is "dead"-on and hysterical! Ally Carter better get used to the smell of grave dirt . . .
Undead and Done
by Maryjanice DavidsonVampire Queen Betsy Taylor continues her rule in Hell in the scorchingly funny finale to the Undead series from New York Times bestselling author MaryJanice Davidson.It had been a well-kept secret for centuries, but now the existence of vampires is all over the news, thanks to Betsy Taylor's half sister (and the frustrated former Antichrist), Laura. Life for the undead will never be the same, and it's up to Betsy to do some damage control. But her interview on the local news doesn't exactly put out the fire. It more or less pours kerosene on it. With all the added attention on supernatural beings, the werewolves are more than a little agitated (never a good thing) and demand that Betsy gets her interview skills, and her family, in order. And while things go from bad to worse in the world, Hell continues to be hell--especially when Betsy's new parole program becomes about as complicated as you'd expect. With a PR team launching a vampire-friendly campaign, the devil at large and out to make trouble, and mermaids on hand to see who falls--and how hard--the end isn't just near. It's here. And if anyone knows how to go out with a bang, it's the queen of Hell.From the Hardcover edition.
Undead and Unforgiven
by Maryjanice Davidson"MaryJanice Davidson's Undead series is laugh-out-loud funny."--Heroes and HeartbreakersNew York Times bestselling author MaryJanice Davidson is back. So is Betsy Taylor, "everyone's favorite vampire queen" (Bitten by Books) and this time Betsy's going viral...If Betsy Taylor has learned anything about ruling Hell it's: 1) She can't do it alone, and 2) She doesn't have to. She's got the help of a devoted vampire king, a dateless zombie, an exhausted new mom, an unshowered cop, a bitchy ghost, a kindly dead priest, and her late stepmother ("Go Team Satan 2.0!"). But the latest major hurdle in her afterlife is so big she can't even see it until it's on YouTube. Betsy's father and half sister Laura (a former Antichrist with a grudge) have teamed up, for what sinister purpose Betsy can't imagine. The former Antichrist didn't take kindly to getting what she wished for, and has decided that's entirely the fault of the vampire queen. What that means for Betsy is trouble (more than usual, even) and possible exposure to an unsuspecting world. Meanwhile Hell is having a deleterious effect on Betsy's friends ("I didn't think it was possible, but the damned are getting meaner."), the newly dead are confused about Hell's new rules ("A buddy system? Really?"), and the vampire king is trying to poach on Betsy's territory. Betsy loves her husband, but that's not the same as trusting him. Before long the king and queen of the vampires aren't speaking to each other, the mansion on Summit Avenue is a war zone, and Betsy's getting calls from a werewolf, a mermaid, and worst of all, her mother ("What do you mean you can't babysit?"). No one said life after death would be easy, but c'mon: this is ridiculous.From the Hardcover edition.
Undead and Unwed: A Novel
by Sam Tschida&“The found-family vampire Hallmark movie I didn&’t know I needed.&”—Jenna Levine, USA Today best-selling author of My Roommate Is a VampireBridget Jones&’s Diary meets What We Do in the Shadows in this bitingly funny supernatural romance about a vampire finding herself and falling in love during the Christmas season.Tiffenie may be three hundred years old, but she&’s still a hot mess. The vampire is tragically single, works a dead-end job at a blood bank, and spends her nights marathoning Hallmark Channel movies with her cat.When Tiffenie inherits a fixer-upper home in Valentine, Vermont, thanks to a case of mistaken (okay, stolen) identity, she seizes the chance to get her life back on track. With her newly undead neighbor (it was an accident!) in tow, Tiffenie is determined to live out her holiday rom-com dreams in this picture-perfect town.But between the mystery of her stolen identity, small-town drama, and the arrival of her insufferable vampire ex-boyfriend Vlad, getting her happily ever after with a hot Christmas tree farmer won&’t be easy. To uncover what she truly desires, Tiffenie must embark on a journey of self-acceptance for the first time in her immortal life. Luckily, it&’s never too late to start therapy.
Undead and Unworthy
by Maryjanice DavidsonSince tying the knot with Sinclair, like hasn't been all marital bliss for Betsy. Sinclair has been perusing The Book for the Dead, Betsy's being hounded by a ghost who's even more insufferable in death than in life, and a pack of ancient vampires has decided to pay an unwelcome visit.
Undeniably Indiana: Hoosiers Tell the Story of Their Wacky and Wonderful State
by Nelson PriceIn this first crowdsourced book about Indiana, ordinary Hoosiers from all corners of the state share the eclectic, wonderful, and sometimes wacky stories that are undeniably Indiana. These true tales highlight the variety of Hoosier life—fond recollections of hometowns, legendary anecdotes of the past, Indiana's unpredictable weather, favorite foods (there's more than corn!), and chance encounters with unforgettable and infamous people. And, of course, there's always basketball. Written for anyone who has ever called this great state home, Undeniably Indiana provides the answer to the widespread question, "What is a Hoosier?"