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Your Inner Hedgehog: A Professor Dr von Igelfeld Entertainment (5) (Professor Dr von Igelfeld Series #5)
by Alexander McCall SmithIn the latest entertaining and hilarious Professor Dr. Dr. Moritz-Maria Von Igelfeld novel, our hopelessly out-of-touch hero is forced to confront uppity librarians, the rector of the university, and a possible hostile takeover, all while trying to remain studiously above it all.Professor Dr. Dr. Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld and his colleagues at the University of Regensburg's Institute of Romance Philology pride themselves on their unwavering commitment to intellectual excellence. They know it is their job to protect a certain civilized approach to the scholarly arts. So when a new deputy librarian, Dr. Hilda Schreiber-Ziegler, threatens to drag them all down a path of progressive inclusivity, they are determined to stop her in the name of scholarship--even if that requires von Igelfeld to make the noble sacrifice of running for Director of the Institute. Alas, politics is never easy, and in order to put his best foot forward, von Igelfeld will be required to take up a visiting fellowship at Oxford and cultivate the attentions of a rather effusive young American scholar. Still, von Igelfeld has always heeded the clarion call of duty--especially when it comes with a larger office.
Your Life Is a Life of Hope!: Thoughts on Things That Make Life Worth Living
by Lord BirthdayIn Your Life Is a Life of Hope!, the Internet&’s favorite mustachioed king presents a series of short, illustrated essays in which he argues for hope by way of absurdity and transcendence by way of the mundane. In his signature childlike, dryly humorous style, Lord Birthday explores the things that make life so great, including jackets and bags and &“booping someone on the nose.&” Both strange and strangely moving, this collection will delight fans and newcomers alike.
Your Mind Makes Thoughts Like Your Butt Makes Farts
by Todd Strauss-SchulsonMost mindfulness books for kids are calm and soothing; this one is funny and gross—just what kids like! Sometimes we have nightmares, or we&’re filled with anxiety and fear. And when you&’re a kid, you don&’t always understand why or what to do about it. Your Mind Makes Thoughts Like Your Butt Makes Farts is funny and gross, but more importantly, it gives kids the big tools they need to cultivate a relationship with their mind, to become its friend and understand that they don&’t have to listen to everything it says—to realize that thoughts (like gas) will pass.
Your Mom's Gonna Love Me
by Matt RifeOne part memoir, one part comedy special, one part crazy first date. Just you and Matt between the covers. What could be better? Matt Rife is well aware that he’s both the most loved and the most controversial comic in America today. And honestly, he thinks that’s your problem. Matt reveals (without apology, of course) what led him to becoming comedy’s biggest lightning rod before he reached thirty, in a story full of bold and hysterical takes on everything from Justin Bieber tramp stamps and rap battles with ex-cons to Matt’s struggles with depression and his many brushes with failure before finally hitting it big. Born in trashy backwoods Ohio, Matt was saved by his foul-mouthed but loving grandpa Steve, who fostered his passion for standup. He started hitting comedy clubs before he could even drink, cutting his teeth in front of crowds who dared him to succeed. Matt honed a brand of razor-sharp, brutally honest standup that took no prisoners—and took him to the most famous stages of Atlanta and LA before he graduated high school. Along the way, he broke the hearts of MILFs everywhere, finally hit puberty at the ripe age of twenty-two, and never, ever backed down. Full of Matt opening up, at his unfiltered best, about his life for the very first time, this book will give his millions of fans everything they want and more—and might even get his insecure enemies to change their minds. <br><b>New York Times Bestseller</b></br>
Your New Job Title Is "Accomplice": A Dilbert Book (Dilbert #40)
by Scott AdamsAs fresh a look at the inanity of office life as it brought to the comics pages when it first appeared in 1989, this 40th AMP Dilbert collection comically confirms to the working public that we all really know what's going on. Our devices might be more sophisticated, our software and apps might be more plentiful, but when it gets down to interactions between the worker bees and the clueless in-controls, discontent and sarcasm rule, as only Dilbert can proclaim.
Your Next-Door Neighbor Is a Dragon: A Guided Tour Of The Internets Strange Subcultures And Weird Realities
by Zack ParsonsFinally, a book about the Internet that takes place outside the Internet!Your Next-Door Neighbor is a Dragon leaves the bleeps and bloops behind for a series of surreal interviews and adventures with the people behind the computer screen. Something Awful's Zack Parsons risks life and sanity by meeting with people who believe they are real dragons and elves, attending a furry convention in costume, paying a visit to a white power group in Texas, talking shop with people who want to be swallowed whole, and witnessing the launching of the Ron Paul Blimp. More than a year in the making, this epic adventure is full to bursting with the jokes about wieners and poopy that made Something Awful a true Internet sensation. Have you added the book to your cart yet or do you just hate yourself that much?
Your Own Worst Enemy
by Gordon JackFor fans of Andrew Smith and Frank Portman and the movies Election and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off comes a hilarious and satirical novel about the highs and (very low) lows of the electoral process, proving that the popular vote is the one that matters most. Stacey Wynn was the clear front-runner for Lincoln High student council president. But then French-Canadian transfer student Julia Romero entered the race…and put the moves on Stacey’s best friend/campaign adviser, Brian.Stacey also didn’t count on Tony Guo, resident stoner, whose sole focus is on removing the school’s ban of his favorite chocolate milk, becoming the voice of the little guy, thanks to a freshman political “mastermind” with a blue Mohawk.Three candidates, three platforms, and a whirlwind of social media, gaffes, high school drama, and protests make for a ridiculously hilarious political circus that just may hold some poignant truth somewhere in the mix.
Your Pal Archie Vol. 1
by Dan ParentClassic-style Archie makes his return in this ALL-NEW, ALL-AGES collection from Ty Templeton and Dan Parent!Join Archie, Betty, Veronica, Jughead and all your favorite characters from Riverdale as they embark on fun-filled adventures and highschool hijinks! Fans of all ages can enjoy this new take on a classic style that's fresh and vibrant.
Your Pal Fred (Your Pal Fred #1)
by Michael RexFrom the author/illustrator of Fangbone! and Goodnight Goon comes a zany and hilarious graphic novel that shines a light on the humanity inside all of us---even if you're a robot.He's a super-nice kid in an ultra-mean world.He believes even the worst people are good inside.He'll always be there for you... even if you boot him out of your castle, pit him against a mechanical giant, put him on top of a pole in a lightning storm, and trap him in a booming dance party that lasts all night long.He's Your Pal Fred. In a brutal world far in the future where only the savage survive, a life-size toy suddenly activates. Fred was built to be a best buddy, and his relentless kindness never fades, even when everyone else is rude. Determined to make the world a better place, he has the bright idea to talk the two most powerful and battle-hungry warlords, Lord Bonkers and Papa Mayhem, into being friends. It's a mission doomed to fail, unless Fred can find a way to inspire everyone to play nice!
Your Pasta Sucks: A "Cookbook"
by Matteo Lane J. J. Goode"Matteo Lane is a liar. In the pages of Your Pasta Sucks, he repeats that he has no business writing a cookbook, all while masterfully (and hilariously) weaving an intricate tale of food and family and schooling the reader in the flavors, traditions, and techniques of Rome, Sicily, and his own Italian-American kitchen."—Katie Parla, author of Food of the Italian Islands Your pasta sucks, but it doesn't have to. Matteo Lane, the comedian behind The Al Dente Special on Hulu, shows you how in his bestselling book of 30 delicious recipes and laugh-out-loud stories..Organized by the most important places and people in his life—from Chicago and New York to Rome and Sicily—comedian, actor, and YouTube sensation Matteo Lane’s first cookbook features recipes rooted in serious pasta knowledge but presented with his signature snarky and sassy wit. Turn these pages to find: A conversational recipe (definitely not an argument) with his bestie Nick Smith on their versions of Mac and Cheese. A short rant over the validity of "alfredo" that turns into a delicious recipe for Penna alla Vodka. Matteo’s foolproof Homemade Pasta recipe. Lots of hardworking, handy tips—like a treatise on how to not f*ck up your pasta—so you can learn while you laugh. And that’s not all—the book's jacket folds out into a centerfold-style poster that redefines "saucy"! For fans of Matteo Lane or readers looking for a humorous take on Italian culture, Your Pasta Sucks will satisfy all.HILARIOUS CELEBRITY COOKBOOK: Matteo Lane is a force: Named one of Variety’s Top Ten Comics to Watch, he performs for sold-out crowds all over the world. On his popular YouTube channel, Matteo guides viewers through his favorite simple dishes and regales them with hilarious asides. Fans always ask for written recipes, and this deliciously funny Italian cookbook is answering their call. A SNARKY LOVE LETTER TO ITALIAN CULTURE: From a guide to how to order coffee in Rome to an ode to Matteo's favorite pasta personalities, a silly list of things you'll find in a nonna's house, and much more—this cookbook is more than just a collection of delicious Italian recipes.Perfect for: Fans of Matteo Lane and his standup comedy People looking for books that celebrate Italian and Italian American culture Supporters of LGBTQIA+ content creators Fans of Italian cooking and food-centric entertainers like The Pasta Queen Foodies looking for a unique present for a housewarming, birthday, holiday, or host/hostess gift
Your Pet Crocodile: A Book of Dos and Don'ts (Fountas & Pinnell Classroom, Guided Reading)
by David Catrow Annie HoweNIMAC-sourced textbook. Impossible Pets. People have all kinds of pets— from birds to snakes, hedgehogs, monkeys, wallabies, and even big cats. It's legal in most places, with the right license. But wild animals can't be trained, the way you can train a puppy. And it's really not fair to force them to live in a house or an apartment. So laugh at this silly story about a pet crocodile, but stick to pets who adjust well to living with humans. Many cats and dogs are looking for a good home.
Your Presidential Fantasy Dream Team
by Winston Rowntree Daniel O'BrienFans of How They Croaked: The Awful Ends of the Awfully Famous and Kid Presidents can draft their own presidential fantasy team, based on these hilarious-but-true profiles of our past leaders. What if a zombie apocalypse or a robot uprising threatened the nation and you had the power to recruit some of the nation's finest presidents to help save the day? By studying the most successful squads in history, Daniel O'Brien has identified the perfect ingredients for a victorious team. Which president would you choose for: the Brain, the Brawn, the Moral Compass, the Loose Cannon, and the Roosevelt? Choose wisely--the fate of the world is in your hands!
Your Royal Hostage: A Jemima Shore Mystery
by Antonia Fraser'We don't want to hurt her. We must remember that. All of us. She is after all innocent ... Well, isn't she?'As preparations for the royal wedding advance, a secret organisation is formulating plans that will have dangerous consequences. They need a gesture that will call attention to the rights and wrongs of those who have no voice of their own. And what better way than to target the royal bride?Meanwhile, Jemima Shore is grappling with the royal wedding in her own way - as a commentator. So she happens to be on hand when things go badly wrong...
Your Royal Hostage: A Jemima Shore Mystery (Jemima Shore)
by Lady Antonia Fraser'We don't want to hurt her. We must remember that. All of us. She is after all innocent ... Well, isn't she?'As preparations for the royal wedding advance, a secret organisation is formulating plans that will have dangerous consequences. They need a gesture that will call attention to the rights and wrongs of those who have no voice of their own. And what better way than to target the royal bride?Meanwhile, Jemima Shore is grappling with the royal wedding in her own way - as a commentator. So she happens to be on hand when things go badly wrong...
Your School Is the Best! (The Curious Cockroach)
by Maggie HutchingsThis picture book follows the story of an eager cockroach and his family who hitch a ride to school — with hilarious results. For fans of I Don't Want to Be a Frog.Everyone&’s favorite cockroach from Your Birthday Was the Best! is back, and this time he&’s going to school . . . and bringing his whole family along for the ride!From show-and-tell to arts and crafts, this little stowaway can&’t wait to try it all . . . and maybe become the new teachers' pet!Charming, hilarious and just a tiny bit disgusting, this is a school tale with a twist.
Your Sh*tty Family: Real Texts. Crazy Relatives.
by Uninspirational“A hysterical new collection of text exchanges from moms, dads, grandparents, and siblings that prove, well, relatives are shitty to one another.” —BroBibleYour Sh*tty Family contains all the hilarity, confusion, and frustration of a visit home without the expensive plane tickets, the tiny twin bed, or any of the misery of actually having to spend time with your family. This book, based on the popular Instagram account of the same name, features actual text-message conversations between various family members. Your Sh*tty Family presents screenshots of these conversations that are relatable to anyone who has ever taught their parents to text. Topics range from hilarious misunderstandings of slang, to children who over-share, to siblings who mercilessly make fun of each other, all organized into outrageous categories such as Momster, Dadvice, Group Chats, and more!
Your Story Matters: A Surprisingly Practical Guide to Writing
by Richard ScrimgerA hilarious how-to on creative writing that makes the writing process fun for aspiring middle-school authors. For fans of Writing Radar by Jack Gantos.Interested in writing but don't know how to get started?Love reading and want to know more about how stories are created?Like ridiculous tales about troublesome sisters, peanut butter and steamrollers?Look no further!Esteemed writer Richard Scrimger is here to answer all your burning questions about writing: whether about plot, character, structure, story hooks or commas. (Actually, don't ask him about commas, it's not that kind of book.)Using clever (so he thinks) analogies, (sort of) brilliant examples and funny (well . . .) anecdotes, he will give you (truly) useful tools to start you on your way as a writer. And if that's not enough, comic illustrations by D. McFadzean are the pepperoni on the writing pizza! (That will make sense once you read the book.)So come, read this book and start your writing journey!
Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason
by Mike SacksEver accidentally sent a mass email to your office describing your not-safe-for-work fantasy kingdom? Or been confused about the ground rules at a cuddle party? Looking to rent an overpriced room in the Hamptons from a codependent sociopath with a checkered past (and a hot tub)? No? Well . . . huh. Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces -- Craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, lists, jokes, and the occasional illustration -- into one handsome volume. Originally published in The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Esquire, and McSweeney's, among other venerable publications, Sacks' writing is original and sharp, yet broadly funny. Whether it's a groom tweeting his wedding in real time, or a publisher offering editorial suggestions for The Diary of Anne Frank, Sacks' work tangles contemporary social satire with his absurdist sensibilities.
Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason
by Mike SacksYour Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, lists, jokes, and the occasional illustration--into one handsome volume. Ever accidentally sent a mass e-mail to your office describing your Not Safe-For-Work fantasy kingdom? Or been confused about the ground rules at a cuddle party? Looking to rent an overpriced room in the Hamptons from a co-dependent sociopath with a checkered past (and a hot tub)? Good. Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--Craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, Shaft living in the suburbs, a classic-rock DJ suffering a nervous breakdown, the occasional list--into one handsome, convenient volume. Originally published in The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Esquire, and McSweeney's, among other venerable publications, Sacks's writing is original and sharp, yet broadly funny. Whether it's a groom tweeting his wedding and honeymoon in real time, or a publisher offering editorial suggestions for The Diary of Anne Frank, Sacks's work tangles contemporary social satire with his absurdist sensibilities.
Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason
by Mike SacksYour Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, lists, jokes, and the occasional illustration--into one handsome volume. Ever accidentally sent a mass e-mail to your office describing your Not Safe-For-Work fantasy kingdom? Or been confused about the ground rules at a cuddle party? Looking to rent an overpriced room in the Hamptons from a co-dependent sociopath with a checkered past (and a hot tub)? Good. Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--Craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, Shaft living in the suburbs, a classic-rock DJ suffering a nervous breakdown, the occasional list--into one handsome, convenient volume. Originally published in The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Esquire, and McSweeney's, among other venerable publications, Sacks's writing is original and sharp, yet broadly funny. Whether it's a groom tweeting his wedding and honeymoon in real time, or a publisher offering editorial suggestions for The Diary of Anne Frank, Sacks's work tangles contemporary social satire with his absurdist sensibilities.
Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason
by Mike SacksYour Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, lists, jokes, and the occasional illustration--into one handsome volume. Ever accidentally sent a mass e-mail to your office describing your Not Safe-For-Work fantasy kingdom? Or been confused about the ground rules at a cuddle party? Looking to rent an overpriced room in the Hamptons from a co-dependent sociopath with a checkered past (and a hot tub)? Good. Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason collects Mike Sacks's unique humor pieces--Craigslist ads, lesser-known tantric positions, letters to famous authors, Shaft living in the suburbs, a classic-rock DJ suffering a nervous breakdown, the occasional list--into one handsome, convenient volume. Originally published in The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Esquire, and McSweeney's, among other venerable publications, Sacks's writing is original and sharp, yet broadly funny. Whether it's a groom tweeting his wedding and honeymoon in real time, or a publisher offering editorial suggestions for The Diary of Anne Frank, Sacks's work tangles contemporary social satire with his absurdist sensibilities.
Yours Cheerfully: A Novel (The Emmy Lake Chronicles #2)
by AJ PearceFrom the author of the &“jaunty, heartbreaking winner&” (People) and international bestseller Dear Mrs. Bird comes a charming and uplifting novel set in London during World War II about a plucky young journalist and her adventures as wartime advice columnist.London, November 1941. Following the departure of the formidable Henrietta Bird from Woman&’s Friend magazine, things are looking up for Emmeline Lake as she takes on the new challenges as a wartime advice columnist. Her relationship with boyfriend Charles is blossoming, while Emmy&’s best friend Bunty, still reeling from the very worst of the Blitz, is bravely looking to the future. Together, the friends are determined to Make a Go of It. When the Ministry of Information calls on Britain&’s women&’s magazines to help recruit female workers to the war effort, Emmy is thrilled to step up and help. But when she and Bunty meet a young mother who shows them the very real challenges that women war workers face, Emmy must confront a dilemma between doing her duty and standing by her friends. As funny, heartwarming, and touching as Dear Mrs. Bird, Yours Cheerfully is an endearing portrait of female friendship and &“a fruitful exploration of the solidarity among women in times of grief, love, and hardship&” (Publishers Weekly).
Yours Cruelly, Elvira: Memoirs of the Mistress of the Dark
by Cassandra PetersonThe woman behind the icon known as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, the undisputed Queen of Halloween, reveals her full story, filled with intimate bombshells, told by the bombshell herself. On Good Friday in 1953, at only 18 months old, 25 miles from the nearest hospital in Manhattan, Kansas, Cassandra Peterson reached for a pot on the stove and doused herself in boiling water. Third-degree burns covered 35% of her body, and the prognosis wasn't good. But she survived. Burned and scarred, the impact stayed with her and became an obstacle she was determined to overcome. Feeling like a misfit led to her love of horror. While her sisters played with Barbie dolls, Cassandra built model kits of Frankenstein and Dracula, and idolized Vincent Price. <P><P>Due to a complicated relationship with her mother, Cassandra left home at 14, and by age 17 she was performing at the famed Dunes Hotel in Las Vegas. Run-ins with the likes of Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., and Tom Jones helped her grow up fast. Then a chance encounter with her idol Elvis Presley, changed the course of her life forever, and led her to Europe where she worked in film and traveled Italy as lead singer of an Italian pop band. She eventually made her way to Los Angeles, where she joined the famed comedy improv group, The Groundlings, and worked alongside Phil Hartman and Paul "Pee-wee" Reubens, honing her comedic skills. <P><P>Nearing age 30, a struggling actress considered past her prime, she auditioned at local LA channel KHJ as hostess for the late night vintage horror movies. Cassandra improvised, made the role her own, and got the job on the spot. Yours Cruelly, Elvira is an unforgettably wild memoir. Cassandra doesn't shy away from revealing exactly who she is and how she overcame seemingly insurmountable odds. Always original and sometimes outrageous, her story is loaded with twists, travails, revelry, and downright shocking experiences. It is the candid, often funny, and sometimes heart-breaking tale of a Midwest farm girl's long strange trip to become the world's sexiest, sassiest Halloween icon. <P><P><b>A New York Times Best Seller</b>
Yours Sincerely, Giraffe (Gecko Press Titles Ser.)
by Megumi IwasaNew York Public Library, Top 10 2017 The international bestselling and award-winning illustrated chapter book for ages 6–8. Giraffe, who lives in Africa, is bored as usual. He’d love a friend to share things with. So he writes a letter and sends it as far as possible across the other side of the horizon. There he finds a pen pal—Penguin. But it’s hard to imagine someone you’ve never seen... Giraffe knows nothing about penguins and his letters are full of questions. What does a penguin look like? Where is a penguin’s neck? And so the letters begin to fly from horizon to horizon. Emerging readers will love this absurd and funny story about what connects us, and finding friendship in unlikely places. With simple line drawings—including handwritten letters—on every page, this witty and accessible story is a perfect book to start independent readers on a lifetime love of reading. Originally published in Japan where it is a much-loved classic, Yours Sincerely, Giraffe is now a popular success all around the world. “This is a rare book: joyful, ingenuous, playfully earnest” —Kirkus Megumi Iwasa studied graphic design and lives in Tokyo. Jun Takabatake is one of Japan’s best-loved children’s illustrators. His illustrations have been exhibited throughout the world, and he has won many international awards. Awards • New York Public Library, Top 10, 2017 • Chicago Public Library, Best Fiction for Younger Readers, 2017 • German Youth Literature Prize Winner, 2018 • USBBY Outstanding International Book List, 2018 • 11 Best Books for 4 to 7-year-olds, The Independent, 2016 Praise for Yours Sincerely, Giraffe “With beautifully simple illustrations and a hope-filled ending, it is an ideal introduction to Japanese literature.” —The Independent “The combination of short narrative, dialogue, letters, and humorous pen-and-ink drawings is a winning one.” —Booklist starred review “A lovely story such as this, presented so well, is the kind of book to set a pre-teen youngster on a lifelong romance with books and literature.” —Magpies Magazine “This Japanese import will charm beginning readers who enjoy a bit of witty humor with their animal adventures. The pen-and-ink illustrations are simple yet have a Quentin Blake feel that rounds out the characters and their quirky behaviors.” —School Library Journal starred review
Yours Truly
by Heather Vogel FrederickAnother wild mystery needs to be solved and it’s up to the Pumpkin Falls Private Eyes to solve it in this hilarious follow up to the heartwarming middle grade mystery, Absolutely Truly.Even Truly Lovejoy has to admit that teeny-tiny Pumpkin Falls, New Hampshire, has its charms—like the annual maple festival, where tourists flock from all over to sample the local maple syrup, maple candy, maple coffee, and even maple soap! But when someone tries to sabotage the maple trees on her friend Franklin’s family farm, Truly has to rally the Pumpkin Falls Private Eyes to investigate. Meanwhile, she uncovers another, more personal mystery under the floorboards of her very own home—a diary written centuries ago by her namesake, the original Truly Lovejoy…and it might just prove her family’s ties to Pumpkin Falls run deeper than anyone ever could have imagined.