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A Bit Much: Poems
by Lyndsay RushINSTANT USA TODAY BESTSELLERThe debut poetry collection from Lyndsay Rush (aka @maryoliversdrunkcousin) is a humorous and joyful celebration of big feelings, tender truths, and hard-won wisdom, for fans of Maggie Smith, Kate Baer, and Kate Kennedy.At long last, a book of poetry for people who didn’t even know they liked poetry. And they’re in good company: author Lyndsay Rush didn’t know she liked it either. That is, until she embarked on an internet experiment under the Instagram username @MaryOliversDrunkCousin that turned into a body of work that struck a chord with women across the country; thanks to her signature wordplay, witticisms, and—against all odds—wisdom.With titles like "Shedonism", "Someone to Eat Chips With", "It’s Called Maximalism, Babe", and "Breaking News: Local Woman Gets Out of Bed", Rush’s debut collection of poetry uses humor to grapple with the female experience—from questioning whether or not to have children, to roasting the patriarchy, to challenging what it means to "age gracefully"—and each piece delivers gut-punching truths alongside gratifying punchlines. Readers walk away from Lyndsay’s work feeling seen, celebrated, and wholly convinced that joy is an urgent, worthwhile pursuit.With over 140 convention-bending poems—most of which are never-before-seen—this book is quite literally A Bit Much.
A Bite Above the Rest
by Christine VirnigA boy moves to a Halloween-themed town only to realize there may be more to the tourist trap than meets the eye in this middle grade novel of &“thrills and chills in a gloriously goofy setting&” (Kirkus Reviews) perfect for fans of The Last Kids on Earth and Escape from Mr. Lemoncello&’s Library!When Caleb&’s mom decides they are moving to her childhood home in Wisconsin, Caleb is not thrilled. Moving schools, states, and time zones would be bad enough, but Mom&’s hometown is Samhain, a small and ridiculously kitschy place where every day is Halloween. Caleb is not a fan of Halloween when it only happens once a year, so Halloween-obsessed Samhain is really not the place for him. How is he supposed to cope with kids wearing costumes to school every single day? And how about the fact that the mayor is so committed to the bit that City Hall is only open from sundown to sunup to accommodate his so-called vampirism? Sure enough, Caleb becomes an outcast at school for refusing to play along with the spooky tradition like the other sixth graders. Luckily, he manages to find a friend in fellow misfit Tai, and just in time, because things are getting weird in Samhain…or make that weirder. But there&’s no way the mayor is an actual vampire, and their teacher absolutely cannot really be a werewolf—right? Caleb discovers Samhain is so much stranger than he ever could have imagined. As one of the only people who realizes what&’s happening, can he save a town that doesn&’t want saving?
A Bite in the Night: Book 4 (Rabbit and Bear #4)
by Julian GoughGorgeously illustrated and with a classic feel, this is a brilliantly funny story of a rabbit and a bear ... on the day that a new creature arrives in their valley, trying to Change Everything. Ideal for readers moving on from picture books. 'A perfect animal double-act.' (The Times, Book of the Week)Rabbit is surprised: some of the trees in the valley seem to be flying south for the winter. His friend Bear is sure that trees can't fly.Then there's a loud CRUNCH! from Very Near By. It sounds like the world's largest rabbit, eating the world's largest carrot. There's a new creature in Rabbit and Bear's valley, and he's trying to Change Everything. From novelist and playwright Julian Gough, and the winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize, Jim Field, this is a tale of Mystery! Friendship! Progress! ... and all kinds of getting muddy.'Rabbit's Bad Habits is a breath of fresh air in children's fiction, a laugh-out-loud story of rabbit and wolf and bear, of avalanches and snowmen. The sort of story that makes you want to send your children to bed early, so you can read it to them.' Neil GaimanRead all the Rabbit and Bear books: 1. Rabbit's Bad Habits2. The Pest in the Nest3. Attack of the Snack4. A Bite in the Night
A Blind Guide to Stinkville
by Beth VrabelBefore Stinkville, Alice didn’t think albinism-or the blindness that goes with it-was a big deal. Sure, she uses a magnifier to read books. And a cane keeps her from bruising her hips on tables. Putting on sunscreen and always wearing a hat are just part of life. But life has always been like this for Alice. Until Stinkville.For the first time in her life, Alice feels different-like she’s at a disadvantage. Back in her old neighborhood in Seattle, everyone knew Alice, and Alice knew her way around. In Stinkville, Alice finds herself floundering-she can’t even get to the library on her own. But when her parents start looking into schools for the blind, Alice takes a stand. She’s going to show them-and herself-that blindness is just a part of who she is, not all that she can be. To prove it, Alice enters the Stinkville Success Stories essay contest. No one, not even her new friend Kerica, believes she can scout out her new town’s stories and write the essay by herself. The funny thing is, as Alice confronts her own blindness, everyone else seems to see her for the first time.This is a stirring small-town story that explores many different issues-albinism, blindness, depression, dyslexia, growing old, and more-with a light touch and lots of heart. Beth Vrabel’s characters are complicated and messy, but they come together in a story about the strength of community and friendship. This paperback edition includes a Q&A with the author and a sneak peak at the upcoming The Blind Guide to Normal.Sky Pony Press, with our Good Books, Racehorse and Arcade imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of books for young readers-picture books for small children, chapter books, books for middle grade readers, and novels for young adults. Our list includes bestsellers for children who love to play Minecraft; stories told with LEGO bricks; books that teach lessons about tolerance, patience, and the environment, and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller or a national bestseller, we are committed to books on subjects that are sometimes overlooked and to authors whose work might not otherwise find a home.
A Bluestocking's Guide to Decadence (Lucky Lovers of London #3)
by Jess EverleeLove can make even the most buttoned-up bluestocking come undone…London, 1885A lesbian in a lavender marriage, Jo Smith cuts a dashing figure in pin-striped trousers, working in her bookshop and keeping impolite company. But her hard-earned stability is about to be upended thanks to her husband&’s pregnant paramour, who needs medical attention that no reputable doctor will provide.Enter Dr. Emily Clarke, a tantalizing bluestocking working at a quaint village hospital outside the city. Emily has reservations about getting mixed up in Jo&’s scandalous arrangement, but her flustered, heart-racing response to Jo has her agreeing to help despite herself.There&’s a world of difference between Jo&’s community of underground clubs and sapphic societies and Emily&’s respectable suburbs. Perhaps it&’s a gap that even fervent desire can&’t bridge.But for those bold enough to take the risk, who knows what delicious adventures might be in store…Lucky Lovers of LondonBook 1: The Gentleman's Book of VicesBook 2: A Rulebook for Restless RoguesBook 3: A Bluestocking's Guide to Decadence
A Book for Escargot (Escargot)
by Dashka Slater*An Amazon Best Book of the Year and Indie Bestseller!*In A Book for Escargot, the standalone sequel to Escargot--written by award-winning and New York Times-bestselling author Dashka Slater and illustrated by Sydney Hanson--we follow a funny and charming French snail through a library to find the book of his dreams.Bonjour! It is moi, Escargot, your favorite French snail.Today I am going on a trip to the library, where there are so many stories to choose from! Stories about dog superheroes… guinea pig detectives....and flamingo astronauts.But sadly, none of these books is about a daring snail hero who saves the day. What is that you say? Perhaps this is the book about the snail hero? Ooh-la-la!
A Book of Ages
by Eric HansonAGE ISN’T JUST A NUMBER—IT’S A WAY OF KEEPING SCORE. THIS IS YOUR SCORECARD. The day we turn any age, we become contemporaries of everyone who has ever been that age, and it becomes our business to know that Bob Dylan wrote “Blowin’ in the Wind” when he was twenty, Orson Welles cowrote, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane when he was twenty-five, Winston Churchill was fired from the Admiralty when he was forty and took up painting, and Jane Austen died, unmarried and mostly unknown, when she was forty-one. Knowing who did what when provides the yardstick by which to measure our own progress; it’s comforting to learn that Grandma Moses didn’t show her first painting until she was seventy-eight, and discouraging (but not surprising) to discover that Einstein was already smarter than you at age sixteen. A witty, ironic collection of moments from famous lives organized by year of age from infancy to death,A Book of Agestells you who is doing what, who is on top of the world, who is waiting for his luck to change, who is saying unkind things about whom, who is planning his revenge, who is meeting for the first time, and who Elizabeth Taylor is currently divorcing. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? An Eccentric Miscellany of Achievements,Misdeeds, Crossed Paths, Bypaths, Inventions, Scandals, Child Prodigies, Late Masterpieces, Marriages and Breakups, Feuds, Dead Ends, Second Chances, Adventures and Misadventures, Novels Written and Battles Won and Lost, All Organized by Year of Age. From the Hardcover edition.
A Book of Jean's Own!: All New Wit, Wisdom, and Wackiness from The Onion's Beloved Humor Columnist
by Jean TeasdaleA few words from the author and eponymous columnist behind The Onion's column, "A Room of Jean's Own," Jean Teasdale: Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!) A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to! Among the many nuggets of fun: * I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!) I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!
A Boring Wife Settles the Score
by Marie-Renee LavoieThe eagerly anticipated sequel to the critically beloved and bestselling Autopsy of a Boring Wife finds the saucy and ever-appealing Diane, now turning fifty and with the wreckage of her marriage behind her, setting off on a new hilarious journey for romance.A Boring Wife Settles the Score marks the return of Diane, the raunchy and entertaining heroine of the prize-winning and bestselling Autopsy of a Boring Wife. Despite the end of her marriage, Diane still has plenty of love to give. Determined not to waste her days — that’s just not her style — she finds a job in a daycare and solace in cocktails with her best friend, Claudine, who convinces Diane her love life is not over. Diane wants romance and sees no reason why she shouldn’t have it, but she soon discovers, in her typically chaotic and hilarious manner, that for a woman approaching her fifties the task is not so simple as it is for a man.
A Box of Clementines (Clementine)
by Sara PennypackerThis New York Times bestselling chapter book series has been keeping readers engaged and laughing for more than a decade with over one million copies sold! This brightly colored boxed set contains the paperback editions of Clementine, The Talented Clementine, and Clementine's Letter -- the first three books in the best-selling series about an unforgettable third grade girl named Clementine.Sara Pennypacker's character, with her unique perspective on school, friends, and family, has been compared to Beverly Clearly's Ramona. Caldecott Honoree Marla Frazee brilliantly brings Clementine to life with detailed pen-and-ink illustrations throughout.This is the perfect gift for readers who are hankering for their first chapter book.
A Brand-New Me! (Hank Zipzer, the World's Greatest Underachiever #17)
by Henry Winkler Lin OliverIt’s graduation time for Hank Zipzer and all his friends— time to move on from PS 87 to middle school. Trouble is, there are tests Hank has to pass to get into the same middle schools as his friends, and his learning differences might get in the way. Luckily, a life-altering audition at a performing arts middle school helps him find his true path. Watch a Video
A Bravo Christmas Reunion (Bravo Family Ties)
by Christine RimmerWhat brought him to her door......Marcus Reid couldn't say. But then Hayley Bravo opened her door, and he got a good look at her burgeoning stomach! She appeared to be about eight months along. So was this proof that she'd gotten over him fast... or that they were connected, now and forever?Months ago Hayley had walked out on Marcus, even though it was the hardest thing she'd ever done. Because though she knew he'd do the right thing by her, she was holding out for the real thing. Love. Baby. Marriage. And apparently, in that order...
A Bravo Homecoming (Bravo Family Ties)
by Christine RimmerTravis Bravo was sick of his meddling mother and her matchmaking ways. So what better way to stop her than to bring a fiancée home for the holidays? One catch-he wasn't even dating anyone. But that was where his rough-and-tumble oil-rig friend, Samantha Jaworski, came in.An unpolished tomboy, Sam was game for anything for a good friend. But after her girlfriend-ready makeover, she fell easily into the role of Travis's loving partner-and into his arms. Would she be standing under his mistletoe...for keeps?
A Bravo's Honor (Bravo Family Ties)
by Christine RimmerLuke Bravo was stunned when Mercy Cabrera showed up in the middle of the night to treat his prize stud. The exotic girl he remembered had matured into a skilled vet-and a sultry, passionate woman he knew he should steer clear of at all costs.Luke was a Bravo-reason enough to keep her distance. But Mercy had loved the rugged rancher since she was sixteen. And when their simmering attraction led to a night of intense passion, she knew she'd risk everything for a future together....
A Breath Away
by Rita HerronWhen a young woman’s traumatic past returns with a new threat, she must put her trust in a local sheriff in this small-town Southern romantic thriller.Ever since Violet Baker’s childhood companion was brutally murdered, she’s been plagued with visions of the girl’s last hours. Now, on the twentieth anniversary of Darlene’s death, Violet’s father is found dead, a note beside him confessing to the murder. But something doesn’t feel right, and Violet returns to Crow’s Landing, Tennessee, looking for answers.Being labeled a murderer’s daughter is difficult enough, but dealing with the scalding tension between her and Sheriff Grady Monroe, Darlene’s half-brother, is worse. As they race to unravel the mystery, it becomes clear that Violet is in grave danger . . . and that Grady will do anything to protect her, no matter the cost . . .
A Breath of French Air (The Pop Larkin Chronicles #2)
by H. E. BatesThe Larkins travel to France for some sun and relaxation—only to be met with disaster—in this comic classic by the author of The Darling Buds of May. At summer&’s end, rain clouds hovering over Kent have some in the Larkin household feeling under the weather in more ways than one. Ma is exhausted from nursing newborn Oscar, and Mariette needs a break. Meanwhile, Mariette&’s husband, Charley, reminisces about delightful summers spent in Brittany during his youth. It was inexpensive, the food was marvelous, the air was warm and sultry, and they would almost never see a drop of rain. And with that, Ma persuades Pop to take a holiday in France. But when the Larkin clan arrives in the village of St. Pierre le Port, it is vastly different from Charley&’s memories. It is raining, the food is awful, the hotel is run-down, and the manager is rather nasty. The Larkins normally find joy in the little things in life, but they have never dealt with a vacation like this . . . &“Very racy, earthy. Rabelaisian.&” —The SpectatorPraise for the Pop Larkin Chronicles &“Hilarious.&” —The New York Times &“Pop Larkin, Ma and their progeny . . . are essentially English of the rich and ribald England of Chaucer and Shakespeare. A superb and timeless comedy.&” —The Scotsman
A Bride for Jericho Bravo (Bravo Family Ties)
by Christine Rimmer"I'm not the marrying kind."After being jilted by her longtime boyfriend, Marnie Jones was on the move. But from the moment she rolled into Texas and clashed with sexy rebel Jericho Bravo, she was finding all sorts of reasons to stay put. Too bad the rugged loner couldn't say the same….Or could he? Because Jericho was making Marnie believe in second chances—that he was the man she wanted to settle down with…forever. Was the proud, wary loner willing to risk his heart? Because he already owned hers….
A Bride for the Italian Boss: A Bride For The Italian Boss The Millionaire's True Worth The Earl's Convenient Wife Vettori's Damsel In Distress (The Vineyards of Calanetti #1)
by Susan MeierHoliday romance on the menu? Passionate chef Rafe Mancini is renowned for his food-and his temper! No one meets his exacting standards, until stand-in maître d' Daniella Tate breathes new life into his restaurant, and Rafe... Daniella is only visiting the picturesque Tuscan village of Calanetti, but with Rafe she finds the sense of belonging she's always craved. Clutching her ticket home, Daniella must make a decision...return to her old, safe life or stay as Rafe's bride! The Vineyards of Calanetti Saying "I do" under the Tuscan sun...
A Bride for the Runaway Groom: The Pregnancy Secret A Bride For The Runaway Groom The Wedding Planner And The Ceo Bound By A Baby Bump (Summer Weddings #2)
by Scarlet WilsonMillionaire to say "I do"-at last! PR whizz Rose Huntingdon-Cross is drowning under work, but when asked to organize a celebrity wedding party, she can't say no! She enlists millionaire Will Carter to help-after four almost-weddings, he's got plenty of experience! Working alongside this gorgeous-but-enigmatic bachelor, Rose can't help wondering just why he's still single! And as a heart-stopping bond develops between them, dare Rose hope that she can persuade Will this is a once-in-a-lifetime love-that will finally have him saying "I do"?
A Bride for the Taking (Wedlocked! #1751)
by Sandra MartonRead this classic romance by bestselling author Sandra Marton, now available for the first time in e-book!Married to a Stranger!Dorian Oliver had a job to do and Jake Prince was not going to stop her! But then Dorian found herself in a situation with only one solution: she had to become Jake’s wife! Jake made it clear that he was more than willing to make love to her, but Dorian wanted more, much more, than a few nights of bliss in his arms.Even though they both knew their marriage was a sham, Dorian found herself wishing that pretense could become reality. Now all she had to do was convince Jake that marriage to a stranger could last for a lifetime…!Originally published in 1992.
A Brief Encounter (Sealed with a Kiss #5)
by Catherine GeorgeA Woman Alone?"I didn't imagine a woman like you would have reached your age without several men in her life...."Olivia's carefully cultivated veneer of indifference was usually enough to deter admirers. But Max Hamilton seemed determined to find out what lay beneath. Was he spurred on by genuine attraction to her and the romantic atmosphere of northern Italy? Or was it that he found Olivia's coolness-the result of the harrowing experience of her first marriage-a challenge?
A Brief History of Oversharing: One Ginger's Anthology of Humiliation
by Shawn HitchinsFrom the author of The Light Streamed Beneath, a collection of hilarious and heartfelt autobiographical essays about accepting our quirks & flaws. Comedian Shawn Hitchins explores his irreverent nature in this debut collection of essays. Hitchins doesn&’t shy away from his failures or celebrate his mild successes—he sacrifices them for an audience&’s amusement. He roasts his younger self, the effeminate ginger-haired kid with a competitive streak. The ups and downs of being a sperm donor to a lesbian couple. Then the fiery redhead professes his love for actress Shelley Long, declares his hatred of musical theatre, and recounts a summer spent in Provincetown working as a drag queen. Nothing is sacred. His first major break-up, how his mother plotted the murder of the family cat, his difficult relationship with his father, becoming an unintentional spokesperson for all redheads, and ̶m̶a̶n̶d̶y̶ ̶m̶o̶o̶r̶e̶ many more. Blunt, awkward, emotional, ribald, this anthology of humiliation culminates in a greater understanding of love, work, and family. Like the final scene in a Murder She Wrote episode, A Brief History of Oversharing promises everyone the a-ha! moment Oprah tells us to experience. Paired with bourbon, Scottish wool, and Humpty Dumpty Party Mix, this journey is best heard through a lens of schadenfreude. Praise for A Brief History of Oversharing&“I am so glad I am not Shawn Hitchins, but I sure wish I could write like him. A Brief History of Oversharing is hilarious and heartwarming. Reading it is like sharing a warm bath with the man himself. At least I hope it&’s the bath that&’s warm.&” —Michael Urie, actor (The Good Wife, Modern Family, Ugly Betty)&“Hitchins&’s mix of raw emotion and salty hilarity works beautifully. . . . Hitchins has a gift for telling outwardly repulsive stories in a way that actually draws people in. He doesn&’t gloss over hard times, but he does counterbalance them with a self-deprecating, snarky humor that trades tears for laughter. He&’s not kidding when he says he&’s oversharing, but somehow he makes the mix of raw emotion and salty hilarity work.&” —Foreword Reviews
A Brief History of Tim: The World Minus One Letter
by Kathy ClugstonRather than explaining our origins, A Brief History of Tim addresses our history and culture at the levelwe most deeply desire - the trivial. By simply removing one letter, the world is tweaked with immensely enjoyable results:For those who think contemporary art is a load of rubbish, there's the Tat Modern. Find out about the Ancient Geeks, nerdy types who spent far too much time doing maths.A Brief History of Tim is laugh-out-loud funny and will have you looking at the world through fresh eyes.
A Brief History of Vice: How Bad Behavior Built Civilization
by Robert Evans"Mixing science, humor, and grossly irresponsible self-experimentation, Evans paints a vivid picture of how bad habits built the world we know and love."--David Wong, author of John Dies at the EndHistory has never been more fun--or more intoxicating. Guns, germs, and steel might have transformed us from hunter-gatherers into modern man, but booze, sex, trash talk, and tripping built our civilization. Cracked editor Robert Evans brings his signature dogged research and lively insight to uncover the many and magnificent ways vice has influenced history, from the prostitute-turned-empress who scored a major victory for women's rights to the beer that helped create--and destroy--South America's first empire. And Evans goes deeper than simply writing about ancient debauchery; he recreates some of history's most enjoyable (and most painful) vices and includes guides so you can follow along at home. You'll learn how to: * Trip like a Greek philosopher. * Rave like your Stone Age ancestors. * Get drunk like a Sumerian. * Smoke a nose pipe like a pre-Columbian Native American.A celebration of the brave, drunken pioneers who built our civilization one seemingly bad decision at a time, A Brief History of Vice explores a side of the past that mainstream history books prefer to hide.From the Trade Paperback edition.
A Brief History of the End of the F*cking World: The hilarious and fascinating new book from the international bestselling author of HUMANS
by Tom PhillipsDo you feel like we're living in the end times? Does it seem like everything is on fire, and one disaster follows another? Here's a small comfort: you're not the first to feel that way. If there's one thing that people throughout history have agreed on, it's that history wasn't going to be around for much longer.This book is about the apocalypse, and how humans have always believed it to be very f*cking nigh. Across thousands of years, we'll meet weird cults, failed prophets and mass panics, holy warriors leading revolts in anticipation of the last days, and suburbanites waiting for aliens to rescue them from a doomed Earth. We'll journey back to the 'worst period to be alive', as the world reeled from a simultaneous pandemic and climate crisis. And we'll look to the future to ask the unnerving question: how might it all end?But it's also a book about how we live in a world where catastrophe is always looming - whether it's a madman with a nuclear button or the slow burn of environmental collapse. Because when we talk about the end of the world, what we really mean is the end of our world. Our obsession with doomsday is really about change: our fear of it, and our desire for it, and how - ultimately - we can find hope in it.Praise for the Brief History series:'Uproarious . . . Abundant good humour' The Times'Witty, entertaining and slightly distressing... You should probably read it' Sarah Knight, author of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck'Brilliant. Utterly, utterly brilliant' Jeremy Clarkson'Very funny' Mark Watson'Both readable and entertaining' Telegraph