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Zits Apocalypse: Are You Ready? (Zits Ser. #32)
by Jerry Scott Jim BorgmanTeenagers are a lot like zombies--slow-moving, difficult to communicate with, and always, always hungry. Luckily, Zits Apocalypse is here to shed some light on the ups, downs, and in-betweens of parenting teens. Join the Duncan family--Connie, Walt, and Jeremy--as they grapple with modern technology, confront an endless sea of dirty laundry, and learn to bridge the cultural divide between parents and teenagers.Zits Apocalypse offers a light-hearted yet insightful look at the multifaceted lives of modern teens and their families, complemented with annotations from the creators. From financial trouble to the perils of young love, this collection broaches relevant and familiar topics with with, wit, humor, and affection.
Zits from Python Pit #6
by M. D. Payne Keith ZooAfter defeating an evil mummy in Egypt, Chris and the others are mystically summoned to the heart of the Congo by a new evil. There they find a legendary serpent beast that has infected all the kids with nasty, blistery, snake-filled zits. Together with their monster friends, the kids have to uncover the secret of the Python Pit and defeat this new slithering threat before it's too late.
Zits: Shredded (Zits #2)
by Jerry ScottZits jumps from the comics page to the bookshelf, and Zits: Shredded is perfect for fans of James Patterson's Homeroom Diaries as well as the Zits comic strip!Jeremy Duncan and his friends Hector and Pierce are hitting the road! That is, if they can squeeze enough french fries to get their newly veggie oil–powered van to Dog Tired Records in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. It's road trip time!Comics genius Stan Lee calls Zits "a comedic masterpiece."Featuring black-and-white illustrations on every page, Zits: Shredded is based on the hit syndicated comic strip.
Zix Zexy Ztories
by Curt LeviantA humorous collection of love stories from an award-winning author who has been called &“a compassionate and witty satirist&” (Kirkus Reviews). From Holocaust survivors to Yiddish artists, a petty thief and a Polish shiksa with a passion for Jewish history, what unites the delectable characters in Curt Leviant&’s witty collection of romantic tales is the universal desire for love and admiration. With settings as various as the Deep South, Boston, New York, Italy, Israel, each story is a wry look at romantic pursuit, each relationship as unique as the lovers themselves. Whether or not love succeeds for Leviant&’s all-too-human characters, the journey is always filled with humor and heart.
Zoe Brennan, First Crush: A Spicy Sapphic Rom-Com
by Laura Piper LeeA struggling vineyard owner gets a second taste of her first crush in this romantic comedy that sparkles with humor and heat. Zoe Brennan may be the loneliest lesbian in Blue Ridge, but at least she has her family vineyard to keep her busy. When a prestigious wine festival announces it&’s coming to town, it kicks off a battle royale among local vineyards vying for the opportunity to host it. Zoe&’s in it to win it—being chosen would put Bluebell Vineyards on the map, and she could stick it to the vineyard next door, run by her ex–best friend (now enemy), Rachel. But when Zoe&’s father is called home to Italy to care for his sick mother, Bluebell is left without a vintner. Dejected, Zoe impulsively agrees to a blindfolded threesome with a friend, and excitingly, a stranger. But once the blindfolds come off, Zoe realizes the hot butch that rocked her world isn&’t a stranger at all. It&’s Laine Woods—Zoe&’s first crush, Rachel&’s big sister, and, Zoe is horrified to discover, the Napa-trained vintner Zoe&’s dad just hired as his replacement. While they try to ignore their sizzling chemistry, Laine&’s snobbery and Zoe&’s pride collide at every step, creating a generous pour of professional—and sexual—tension. Collaborating is the only way to win the festival, but when that means late nights under the stars and letting go of the past, Zoe must be careful—or Laine might crush her heart for good.Perfect for fans of romance novels who enjoy their smut wrapped in wit and wine, Zoe Brennan, First Crush delivers everything lesbian romance readers crave - from deliciously crafted enemies to lovers tension to the cozy comfort of small town romance charm. Readers who enjoy some depth to their spicy books will love this intoxicating tale of a vineyard owner getting a second chance with her first crush.
Zoe and the Tormented Tycoon (The Balfour Brides)
by Kate HewittA spoiled socialite and a troubled mogul share a hot night that will transform their lives forever in this contemporary romance.Everyone’s talking about Zoe Balfour—the illegitimate heiress! She flies to New York to discover more about her biological family and goes a little wild, shocking even herself by spending one night with a gorgeous stranger. . . . The gradual loss of his sight has caused Manhattan mogul Max Monroe to close himself off from the world—a wife and child are most certainly not on his agenda! How will Zoe, once just a spoiled socialite and now unexpectedly pregnant, unlock the dark heart of a man who may never see his own child?
Zoey Is Too Drunk for This Dystopia (Zoey Ashe #3)
by Jason ParginZoey is Too Drunk for This Dystopia is the latest installment in New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin's thrilling Zoey Ashe sci-fi series.Zoey Ashe wakes up every day feeling like she’s trying to steer a battleship while tied to the propeller. The twenty-three-year-old heiress to a criminal empire is navigating a futuristic world of high-tech liars and cutthroats, forced to learn the rules of a devious game she never asked to play. Now she’s facing a crisis that is both bigger and stranger than all that came before:The gleaming new city of Tabula Ra$a is hosting its massive annual music festival, which every year precedes the equally massive annual drunken riot. This is all organized by Zoey's people, including the riot. As her advisors explain, the citizens need a little controlled chaos now and then. Zoey, however, fears the chaos will not stay controlled for long.When a horrific crime is broadcast live on an all-seeing social network, Zoey and her team suspect a carefully-stage hoax arranged by one of the Tabula Ra$a’s shadowy power players. But in a city in which lies are always served in layers, even that explanation will prove far too simple.
Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick: A Novel (Zoey Ashe #2)
by David Wong Jason ParginTHE NATIONAL BESTSELLERNew York Times bestselling author David Wong's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest—and arguably greatest—sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe Series.In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the twenty-three year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job.The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos.“Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author David Wong’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe Series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland.” (Kirkus Reviews)
Zofia Nowak’s Book of Superior Detecting
by Piotr Cieplak'We have a case to solve, remember, Mr. Writer?'Zofia's son, Janek, has vanished without a trace. Leaving behind her native Warsaw, she arrives in London, determined to uncover the truth - and she's certain that a celebrated writer called Steve holds the key to Janek's disappearance.To fund her DIY investigation, Zofia takes on a string of cleaning jobs - a professional trajectory she finds very much beneath her. Armed with little more than her stubborn resolve and a second-hand detective manual, Zofia gathers evidence. After all, mother knows best - something she proves when she makes a shocking discovery: Steve's now dating Janek's ex-boyfriend. After some further digging it transpires that a former lover is not the only thing Steve has stolen from Janek...Despite their mutual animosity, Zofia and Steve team up to get to the bottom of this tangled web of lies. Facing an unsolved murder, a stolen manuscript and a missing son, this unlikely duo must confront the secrets they've been hiding - not just from each other but from themselves.With biting humour and a detective you've definitely never met before who breaks *every* rule in the book, Zofia Nowak's Book of Superior Detecting will keep you guessing - and laughing - until the very last page. Perfect for fans of Jonas Jonasson, Elizabeth is Missing and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.'If you're looking for irresistible prose, it's here in this book. The protagonists' voices criss-cross in a near impossible harmony of heart, guts, shrewdness and nerve... I'm in awe' Helen Oyeyemi
Zofia Nowak’s Book of Superior Detecting
by Piotr Cieplak'We have a case to solve, remember, Mr. Writer?'Zofia's son, Janek, has vanished without a trace. Leaving behind her native Warsaw, she arrives in London, determined to uncover the truth - and she's certain that a celebrated writer called Steve holds the key to Janek's disappearance.To fund her DIY investigation, Zofia takes on a string of cleaning jobs - a professional trajectory she finds very much beneath her. Armed with little more than her stubborn resolve and a second-hand detective manual, Zofia gathers evidence. After all, mother knows best - something she proves when she makes a shocking discovery: Steve's now dating Janek's ex-boyfriend. After some further digging it transpires that a former lover is not the only thing Steve has stolen from Janek...Despite their mutual animosity, Zofia and Steve team up to get to the bottom of this tangled web of lies. Facing an unsolved murder, a stolen manuscript and a missing son, this unlikely duo must confront the secrets they've been hiding - not just from each other but from themselves.With biting humour and a detective you've definitely never met before who breaks *every* rule in the book, Zofia Nowak's Book of Superior Detecting will keep you guessing - and laughing - until the very last page. Perfect for fans of Jonas Jonasson, Elizabeth is Missing and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.'If you're looking for irresistible prose, it's here in this book. The protagonists' voices criss-cross in a near impossible harmony of heart, guts, shrewdness and nerve... I'm in awe' Helen Oyeyemi
Zombie Apocalypse (Tales from the Scaremaster #4)
by B. A. FradeA new entry in the frightfully fun series perfect for fans of Goosebumps.Ryan and Tyler are obsessed with zombies-each year, they tie for first place at their school's annual costume contest with their grosser than gross zombie costumes. When some seriously spooky looking zombies show up at the dance this year, the boys think someone has called in a Hollywood makeup artist to finally snag the trophy. Little do they know, this isn't a case of special effects...it's a Zombie Apocalypse, courtesy of the Scaremaster! Can they outwit the Scaremaster and save their classmates, or will their brains be on the menu?
Zombie Bake-Off
by Stephen Graham Jones&“[The] tale of a zombie horde reigning terror on the few humans left inside a building . . . a refreshing nod to the George Romero movies of old.&” —Mourning Goats There&’s not much rumbling during the Recipe Days show at the Lubbock Municipal Coliseum—except for stomachs, that is—until the professional wrestlers arrive early for their Saturday night matches. Chaos ensues when the home cooks are overrun by Xombie, the Hellbillies, and Jersey Devil Jill. They&’re not everyone&’s idea of family fun . . . especially when the rowdy wrestlers descend on the free donuts brought for the security team—and are turned into brain-eating zombies. The night&’s main event starts early with undead wrestlers squaring off against kitchen divas and soccer moms. And as the contagion spreads, the few survivors, armed with mixers, booth poles, and a Zamboni, must fight to keep their heads on straight—and off the menu. &“Zombie specialist Stephen Graham Jones shows how to put a fresh spin on a classic dish.&” —The Denver Post &“Zombie Bake-Off is fast, witty, original and ridiculously entertaining. Stephen Graham Jones has created an action-packed literary pastry that packs a sugar rush you just have to experience.&” —HorrorTalk
Zombie Butts from Uranus! (Andy Griffiths' Butt Series)
by Andy GriffithsIn this exciting sequel to The Day My Butt Went Psycho, a boy and his butt must protect the planet from ruthless rumps from outer space.Zack Freeman is on his way to becoming a first-rate butt-fighter. He has gone butt-to-butt with all kinds of stinky scoundrels and butts-gone-bad. But even our doody-full hero is a-gassed by these latest stench invaders.Their odor is unstoppable.Their mission is downright foul.And they won’t rest until Earth is wiped away by their nasty fumes! They’re Zombie Butts from Uranus! And the galaxy is but one boy (and his butt) away from total reek-dom . . . Praise for Zombie Butts from Uranus“Delivers innumerable gag-worthy gags.” —Publishers Weekly
Zombie Butts from Uranus! (Butts #2)
by Andy GriffithsThis thrilling sequel to the bestselling "The Day My Butt Went Psycho" boldly goes where no butt has gone before. Can young Zack stop an invasion of Zombie Butts from taking over the planet? Or is Earth doomed to suffer the tyranny of the stinkiest space invaders this side of Uranus?
Zombie Cat: The Tale of a Decomposing Kitty
by Bethany Straker Isabel AthertonTiddles is a suave, carefree kitty cat whose only pleasures in life are eating mice, wooing the ladies, and being generally apathetic toward his owner, Jake. But when a toxic spill occurs outside of town, Tiddles finds himself savagely attacked by a nasty-looking radioactive field mouse, and he wakes up as one of the undead. However, he still retains a bit of compassion and refrains--for now--from zombie Bacchanalian delights, such as eating living beings' brains! Umm . . . any brains at all!However, Tiddles, a.k.a. Zombie Cat, is decomposing rapidly and would prefer to live a normal life in the zombie apocalypse with his owner, Jake. But will Jake take in his former cuddly pet or will ZC be doomed to roam the streets trying to avoid the inevitable pull of his undead yearnings? Zombie Cat is a humorous adult picture book in the vein of Pat the Zombie and Ten Little Zombies: A Love Story. Isabel Atherton's quirky storytelling combined with Bethany Straker's captivating (and slightly grotesque!) illustrations make this the perfect addition to any Halloween collection. It's the ideal gift for any crazed zombie fanatic--or equally crazed cat lover.
Zombie Chasers 4-Book Collection
by Steve Wolfhard John KloepferPerfect for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and The Strange Case of Origami Yoda, John Kloepfer's hilarious and stomach-churning Zombie Chasers tween series is overflowing with uproarious middle school humor, dead-on illustrations, and high-action adventure that will leave readers moaning for more. This collection contains the first four books in the series.The Zombie Chasers: Zombie Attack! When brain-gobbling zombies invade, a sleep¬over at Zack Clarke's house quickly turns into a Level-3 creep-over. The undead have infested the streets, filling the air with deathly moans and the stench of rotting flesh. The Zombie Chasers are on a mission to save the world, but first they have to survive their flesh-eating, half-dead neighbors--and one another.The Zombie Chasers #2: Undead Ahead: Zack's sister is a zombie and his parents might be goners. Rice has uncovered the source of the zombie outbreak, and Madison's health-drink habit may be the key to a cure. Ozzie, the newest zombie chaser, is a nunchaku-wielding, monster-fighting machine who's ready to kick some undead butt. The whole country--from their parents to the president--is counting on them. Can the Zombie Chasers save the nation from brain-gobbling ghouls? Or will the US of A become the US of Z?The Zombie Chasers #3: Sludgment Day: Zack and his crew of Zombie Chasers--Rice, Madison, Ozzie, and Zoe--are ready to end this nightmare once and for all! With the antidote in hand, the gang sets off on a wild cross-country road trip to defeat the evil genius behind the zombie apocalypse.The Zombie Chasers #4: Empire State of Slime: Six months after Zack Clarke, his sister, Zoe, and pals Rice, Ozzie, and Madison saved the country from brain-gobbling ghouls, life is finally heading back to normal. But while the kids are busy exploring the Big Apple's sites on a class trip to New York City, things go from sublime to slime when millions of people suddenly rezombify! The Zombie Chasers are back on undead duty, but can they escape the crowded city streets and find a new cure, or is Z-Day here to stay?
Zombie Elementary
by Howard WhitehouseLarry Mullet is your typical fourth grader. He's not the biggest kid or the smartest kid or the best looking kid. He rides his bike, plays baseball, takes the school bus, avoids cafeteria food, and--oh yeah, he's a zombie hunting expert. Larry was just doing his usual thing when Alex Bates from Ms Hoag's class tried to eat him. Sadly, that was only the beginning. Something odd was going on at Brooks Elementary... and it was up to Larry and his friends to take charge (for some reason). Hilariously told interview-style as a record of the REAL story, and peppered with zombie tips and facts, zombie cheerleaders and plenty of gore, this book will be a surefire hit for anyone interested in a ghoulishly good life-or-death comedy.
Zombie Haiku
by Ryan Mecum. . . More Brains. . . Some race. Some lurch. Others come crawling, limping, staggering-dragging themselves toward anyone who might still have a pulse. Zombies invade the island of Manhattan, and they are hungry. The story of the zombie apocalypse is told through the eyes of Dawn, a ten-year-old girl who has been well-schooled in the undead because of her father's love of zombie movies. As the zombies approach, Dawn and her dad realize the time has come to implement their Zombie Escape Plan, so they gather friends and escape to the Statue of Liberty. Only. . . the plan doesn't go quite as expected. Dawn documents their downfall in her haiku journal, where the limb-snapping, eye-popping, bone-crunching zombies eventually make her one of their own. In gory detail, and sometimes channeling her favorite poets, she describes the gruesome scenes before her-and her own frightening impulses. Ryan Mecum, the wicked mind behind the original Zombie Haiku, brings you another volume of disturbing poetry from the perspective of the walking dead sure to get your heart racing and your gag reflex working. . . but hopefully not your mouth salivating.
Zombie Haiku
by Ryan MecumIn your hands is a poetry journal written by an undead poet, recounting his firsthand experience during the zombie plague. Little is known about the author before he turned into a zombie, but thanks to his continued writings in this journal - even after his death - you can accompany him from infection to demise. Through the intimate poetry of haiku, the zombie chronicles his epic journey through deserted streets and barricaded doors. Each three-line poem, structured in the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure, unravels a little more of the story. You'll love every eye-popping, gut-wrenching, flesh-eating page!
Zombie Halloween: Goosebumps Most Wanted (Goosebumps Most Wanted Special Edition #1)
by R. L. StineThe infamous, Most Wanted Goosebumps characters are out on the loose and after you. Just in time for Halloween, a super special edition!It seems like everyone at Kenny Abbott's new school is going zombie crazy. Kenny's new friend Alec is the most obsessed of all-he believes Zombies are real and manages to convince Kenny to join him on a zombie patrol. Tricia, Kenny's twin sister thinks the zombie thing is stupid, but she thinks Alec is cute so she hangs around whenever Alec comes over.Alec is convinced that the big house on the hill is near Kenny's house is filled with zombies. Even Kenny doesn't believe that---until he sees three coffins being delivered to the house. There's got to be an explanation! The kids never see any one go into or out of the house-just one light shines in the upstairs window. Alec convinces Kenny, they can get a close look at the house on Halloween when they go trick or treating. That's when they find who the REAL zombies are!With an extended page count and a special cover design, this special edition will be a scream!
Zombie Love: The Do's, Don'ts, and It Depends of Undead Dating
by Jeff BuschJust because youre a reanimated corpse doesnt mean you cant fall in love--as this hilarious dating guide parody proves. Dating is tough, but hooking up when youre undead can be a nightmare. Its hard enough to meet that special something without having to worry about fetid breath, angry mobs, and missing (ahem) appendages. And if you do score a night on the prowl with the zombie of your dreams, youll face all the usual dating concerns, and then some: How soon is too soon to call after a first date? Whats the best cover-up for a shotgun wound: plaster or caulk? And whats the proper dining etiquette when your meal tries to call the authorities? Filled with insightful advice, tips, quizzes, charts, and more, Zombie Love is sure to help any walking corpse find a soul mate and possibly even a happily ever afterlife.
Zombie Lover (The Xanth Novels #22)
by Piers AnthonySomething&’s rotten in the land of Xanth—and it&’s not just the undead—in this &“cheeky&” adventure in the New York Times–bestselling series (Publishers Weekly). Horrors and hilarity collide as a fate far worse than death awaits a vivacious young visitor to &“the Florida-shaped fantasy land where anything goes and the puns pack every page&” (Kirkus Reviews). Breanna, a beautiful young newcomer to the enchanted land of Xanth, must deal with a distressing dilemma. She has unwittingly attracted the affections of King Xeth, ruler of Xanth&’s Zombies, who yearns to make her queen of the undead! Her quest to preserve her innocence, and find her destiny, takes her on an exhilarating excursion packed with perils, puzzles, and piles of puns. Zombie Lover will provide a profusion of macabre merriment.
Zombie Mommy
by M. T. Anderson Kurt CyrusThe Pals in Peril embark on a horrifying adventure of life and un-death that is "ridiculous in all the best ways" (Kirkus Reviews)!Our intrepid heroes are home from their Delaware crime-stopping excitement, only to discover that Lily's mom has become possessed by a menacing zombie who wants to take over the world! (Or, at least, the world of stage and screen.) Thank goodness Lily's friends Katie, Jasper, and foxy Blue-Hen-State monk Drgnan Pghlik are around--accompanied by Jasper's Astounding High-Pressure Holy Water Extruder Gun, of course--to help save the day. But not before some truly scary things happen, things involving stuff like killer tarantulas, web-footed teen vampire boys, bad weather (it's a horror novel, remember?), and, well . . . the rest is just TOO TERRIFYING FOR WORDS!
Zombie Queen of Newbury High
by Amanda AshbyQuiet, unpopular, non-cheerleading Mia is blissfully happy. She is dating super hot football god Rob, and he actually likes her and asked her to prom! Enter Samantha?cheerleading goddess and miss popularity? who starts making a move for Rob. With prom in a few days, Mia needs to act fast. So she turns to her best friend, Candice, and decides to do a love spell on Rob. Unfortunately, she ends up inflicting a zombie virus onto her whole class, making herself their leader! At first she is flattered that everyone is treating her like a queen. But then zombie hunter hottie Chase explains they are actually fattening her up, because in a few days, Mia will be the first course in their new diet. She?s sure she and Chase can figure something out, but she suggests that no one wear white to prom, because things could get very messy. .
Zombie Spaceship Wasteland: A Book by Patton Oswalt
by Patton OswaltPrepare yourself for a journey through the world of Patton Oswalt, one of the most creative, insightful, and hysterical voices on the entertainment scene today. Widely known for his roles in the films Big Fan and Ratatouille, as well as the television hit The King of Queens, Patton Oswalt--a staple of Comedy Central--has been amusing audiences for decades. Now, with Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, he offers a fascinating look into his most unusual, and lovable, mindscape. Oswalt combines memoir with uproarious humor, from snow forts to Dungeons & Dragons to gifts from Grandma that had to be explained. He remembers his teen summers spent working in a movie Cineplex and his early years doing stand-up. Readers are also treated to several graphic elements, including a vampire tale for the rest of us and some greeting cards with a special touch. Then there's the book's centerpiece, which posits that before all young creative minds have anything to write about, they will home in on one of three story lines: zombies, spaceships, or wastelands. Oswalt chose wastelands, and ever since he has been mining our society's wasteland for perversion and excess, pop culture and fatty foods, indie rock and single-malt scotch. Zombie Spaceship Wasteland is an inventive account of the evolution of Patton Oswalt's wildly insightful worldview, sure to indulge his legion of fans and lure many new admirers to his very entertaining "wasteland."