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Love in a F*cked-Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together
by Dean SpadeIn this inspiring self-help handbook, a trans activist dares us to be the change we want to see—both out in the world, and amongst our closest connections. Lifelong activist and educator Dean Spade dares us to decide that our interpersonal actions are not separate from our politics of liberation and resistance. Many activist projects and resistance groups fall apart because people treat each other poorly, trying desperately to live out the cultural myths about dating and relationships that we are fed from an early age. How do we divest from the idea that one romantic partner will be the solution to all our problems? How do we bring our best thinking about freedom and justice into step with our desires for healing and connection? Love in a F*cked-Up World is a resounding call to action and a practical manifesto for how to combat cultural scripts and take our relationships into our own hands, preparing us for the work of changing the world.
Love in a Time of Loneliness: Three Essays On Drive And Desire
by Paul VerhaegheThe first essay, "The Impossible Couple", is both a humorous and razor-sharp analysis of the contemporary relationship between man and woman. In the second essay, "Fleeing Fathers", the author demonstrates that today the Freudian Oedipus complex has disappeared, with a resulting shattering of classic gender roles. Post-modern morals are strange compared to previous morality, because they convey an obligation to enjoy. Things become even stranger when one finds that the expected enjoyment fails to come and, instead of that, we are faced with boredom, anxiety, and anger. The author reconsiders the opposition between Eros and Thanatos as an opposition between two forms of sexual pleasure. The fact that this opposition is ever present in heterosexual love demonstrates that gender differentiation goes beyond temporal cultural forms. Accessibly written and provocatively argued, Love in a Time of Loneliness is a polemic whose very informality belies its serious intent. In these three fascinating essays, The author leaves the ordinary paths of thinking and sets out to discover what drives us in sex and love.
Love in the Age of the Internet: Attachment in the Digital Era
by Linda CundyThis highly topical book explores the new technological environment we have created, and our adaptation to it, twenty-five years after the death of John Bowlby. In the space of just a couple of decades, the world has changed radically, and we are changing too: personal computers and smartphones mediate our lives, work, play, and love. Relationships of all kinds are now conducted through mobile phones, email, Skype and social network sites. Attachment theory is concerned with the impact of the external world on internal reality, where twenty-first century experiences encounter the powerful, primitive, and ancient instinct for attachment and survival. This book is written by psychotherapists whose practice, with individual adults and couples, is informed by attachment theory. It contains theoretical, observational, and clinical material, and will be relevant to all psychotherapists, psychoanalysts, counsellors, and psychologists interested in the profound impact of digital and communication technologies on human relationships.
Love in the Dark: Philosophy by Another Name
by Diane EnnsIntimate love opens us up to suffering, sacrifice, and loss. Is it always worth the risk? Consulting philosophers, writers, and poets who draw insights from material life, Diane Enns shines a light on the limits of erotic love, exploring its paradoxes through personal and philosophical reflections. Situating experience at the center of her inquiry, Enns conducts philosophy "by another name," elaborating the ambiguities and risks of love with visceral clarity.Love in the Dark claims that intimacy must accept risk as long as love does not destroy the self. Erotic love inspires an inexplicable affirmation of another but can erode autonomy and vulnerability. There is a limit to love, and appreciating it requires a rethinking of love's liberal paradigms, which Enns traces back to the hostility toward the body and eros in Christianity and the Western philosophical tradition. Against a legacy of an abstract and sanitized love, Enns recasts erotic attachment as an event linked to conditional circumstances. The value of love lies in its intensity and depth, and its end does not negate love's truth or significance. Writing in a lyrical, genre-defying style, Enns delineates the paradoxes of love in its relations to lust, abuse, suffering, and grief to reach an account faithful to human experience.
Love in the Machine Age: A Psychological Study of the Transition from Patriarchal Society (Psychology Revivals)
by Floyd DellFirst published in 1930, the object of Love in the Machine Age was to popularize a modern and scientific view of behavior, and thereby help people to live happy and successful lives. The author traces in popular language for the time, the break-up of the patriarchal values held by most of society, and points out from the standpoint of modern psychiatric knowledge the inevitable effects upon sexual mores, personality adjustments and the growth of children. Topics covered include marriage, parenting, adolescence, with special emphasis paid to the “mating problems” of youth. Taking its lead from psychological theories prevalent at the time, today it can be read in its historical context.This book is a re-issue originally published in 1930. The language used and views portrayed are a reflection of its era and no offence is meant by the Publishers to any reader by this re-publication.
Love in the Time of Algorithms
by Dan Slater“If online dating can blunt the emotional pain of separation, if adults can afford to be increasingly demanding about what they want from a relationship, the effect of online dating seems positive. But what if it’s also the case that the prospect of finding an ever more compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, a paradox of choice that keeps us chasing the illusive bunny around the dating track?” It’s the mother of all search problems: how to find a spouse, a mate, a date. The escalating marriage age and declining marriage rate mean we’re spending a greater portion of our lives unattached, searching for love well into our thirties and forties. It’s no wonder that a third of America’s 90 million singles are turning to dating Web sites. Once considered the realm of the lonely and desperate, sites like eHarmony, Match, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish have been embraced by pretty much every demographic. Thanks to the increasingly efficient algorithms that power these sites, dating has been transformed from a daunting transaction based on scarcity to one in which the possibilities are almost endless. Now anyone—young, old, straight, gay, and even married—can search for exactly what they want, connect with more people, and get more information about those people than ever before. As journalist Dan Slater shows, online dating is changing society in more profound ways than we imagine. He explores how these new technologies, by altering our perception of what’s possible, are reconditioning our feelings about commitment and challenging the traditional paradigm of adult life. Like the sexual revolution of the 1960s and ’70s, the digital revolution is forcing us to ask new questions about what constitutes “normal”: Why should we settle for someone who falls short of our expectations if there are thousands of other options just a click away? Can commitment thrive in a world of unlimited choice? Can chemistry really be quantified by math geeks? As one of Slater’s subjects wonders, “What’s the etiquette here?” Blending history, psychology, and interviews with site creators and users, Slater takes readers behind the scenes of a fascinating business. Dating sites capitalize on our quest for love, but how do their creators’ ideas about profits, morality, and the nature of desire shape the virtual worlds they’ve created for us? Should we trust an industry whose revenue model benefits from our avoiding monogamy? Documenting the untold story of the online-dating industry’s rise from ignominy to ubiquity—beginning with its early days as “computer dating” at Harvard in 1965—Slater offers a lively, entertaining, and thought provoking account of how we have, for better and worse, embraced technology in the most intimate aspect of our lives. .
Love in the Time of Algorithms
by Dan Slater"If online dating can blunt the emotional pain of separation, if adults can afford to be increasingly demanding about what they want from a relationship, the effect of online dating seems positive. But what if it's also the case that the prospect of finding an ever more compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, a paradox of choice that keeps us chasing the illusive bunny around the dating track?" It's the mother of all search problems: how to find a spouse, a mate, a date. The escalating marriage age and declining marriage rate mean we're spending a greater portion of our lives unattached, searching for love well into our thirties and forties. It's no wonder that a third of America's 90 million singles are turning to dating Web sites. Once considered the realm of the lonely and desperate, sites like eHarmony, Match, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish have been embraced by pretty much every demographic. Thanks to the increasingly efficient algorithms that power these sites, dating has been transformed from a daunting transaction based on scarcity to one in which the possibilities are almost endless. Now anyone--young, old, straight, gay, and even married--can search for exactly what they want, connect with more people, and get more information about those people than ever before. As journalist Dan Slater shows, online dating is changing society in more profound ways than we imagine. He explores how these new technologies, by altering our perception of what's possible, are reconditioning our feelings about commitment and challenging the traditional paradigm of adult life. Like the sexual revolution of the 1960s and '70s, the digital revolution is forcing us to ask new questions about what constitutes "normal": Why should we settle for someone who falls short of our expectations if there are thousands of other options just a click away? Can commitment thrive in a world of unlimited choice? Can chemistry really be quantified by math geeks? As one of Slater's subjects wonders, "What's the etiquette here?" Blending history, psychology, and interviews with site creators and users, Slater takes readers behind the scenes of a fascinating business. Dating sites capitalize on our quest for love, but how do their creators' ideas about profits, morality, and the nature of desire shape the virtual worlds they've created for us? Should we trust an industry whose revenue model benefits from our avoiding monogamy? Documenting the untold story of the online-dating industry's rise from ignominy to ubiquity--beginning with its early days as "computer dating" at Harvard in 1965--Slater offers a lively, entertaining, and thought provoking account of how we have, for better and worse, embraced technology in the most intimate aspect of our lives.
Love in the Time of Contagion: A Diagnosis
by Laura KipnisIn this timely, insightful, and darkly funny investigation, the acclaimed author of Against Love asks: what does living in dystopic times do to our ability to love each other and the world?COVID-19 has produced new taxonomies of love, intimacy, and vulnerability. Will its cultural afterlife be as lasting as that of HIV, which reshaped consciousness about sex and love even after AIDS itself had been beaten back by medical science? Will COVID end up making us more relationally conservative, as some think HIV did within gay culture? Will it send us fleeing into emotional siloes or coupled cocoons, despite the fact that, pre-COVID, domestic coupledom had been steadily losing fans? Just as COVID revealed our nation to itself, so did it hold a mirror up to our own relationships. In Love in the Time of Contagion, Laura Kipnis weaves (often hilariously) her own (ambivalent) coupled lockdown experiences together with those of others, and sets them against a larger backdrop: the politics of the virus, economic disparities, changing gender relations, and the ongoing institutional crack-ups prompted by #MeToo and Black Lives Matter, as she maps their effects on the everyday routines and occasional solaces of love and sex.
Love or Perish [Expanded Edition]
by Dr Smiley BlantonThe New York Times called this famous guide to a more rewarding life “sound and solid, the product of a richly furnished mind, a book of wisdom.” Written by one of America’s most distinguished psychiatrists, Dr. Smiley Blanton, it has already found its way into some 200,000 American homes. Hundreds of readers have written to the author saying they were helped, inspired—and wanted more.In response to these letters, Dr. Blanton added an enormously valuable new section showing how men and women of all ages can give themselves as second chance at happiness—this section, titled “On Making a Fresh Start,” is included in this Expanded Edition, which was first published in 1957.“I believe that it is possible to achieve an emotional change with the insight developed through books. Books can make a change in one’s philosophy and attitude toward life. That is why so many books of the world are so deeply cherished.“It is in this hope that I write, in an effort to bring to people the hard-won truths of my observation over many years of life and during more than forty years of practice in psychiatry.”—Dr. Smiley Blanton, Introduction
Love the Wild Swan: The selected works of Judith Edwards (World Library of Mental Health)
by Judith EdwardsLove the Wild Swan is the culmination of thirty years of clinical and teaching experience, undertaken by child and adolescent psychoanalytic psychotherapist Judith Edwards. Along with new material, the book consists of previously published papers spanning Edwards’s entire career, which have been carefully selected to chart the journey that every clinician and human being makes, from babyhood to adult life. Edwards offers an example of how the evolution of meanings occur and how lifelong learning about the self and the other takes place. The book is divided into four parts, with sections on observation, clinical work, teaching theory, and links between these ideas and ongoing life in the form of the arts, through poetry, film and sculpture. Love the Wild Swan will be of interest to practitioners and clinicians, as well as appealing to anyone in the field of mental health who wishes to reflect on the nature of human development and growth.
Love to Learn: The Transformative Power of Care and Connection in Early Education
by Isabelle C. HauThe most important aspect of early childhood in general and education in particular is the quality and care of the relationships a child forms. Love to Learn shows how to build and develop these relationships -- and unlock every child's true potential. Early relationships are the key to healthy brain development, resilience, and lifelong flourishing. Children need to be loved, to be valued, to interact, and to be listened to. When children have the space and time to play and explore through nurturing positive relationships, then children learn. But loving relationships are precisely what so many children are missing, and modern factors are making it more difficult for children to build these necessary bonds. Kids are growing up in smaller families with fewer siblings, and in more single-parent households. They have fewer adult family friends and mentors. They have less contact with grand-parents and grand-adults. They spend 60% less time with friends than children did a decade ago. They play outside less—half the time spent by their parent&’s generation. They find themselves increasingly immersed in solitary realms of screens, a modern sanctuary where parents seek refuge as well. Many kids are so overscheduled they have less time to build friendships Love to Learn offers a vision for a future where learning is relational, and love is a literacy. It is a provocative paradigm shift, from child-centered education to relationship-centered learning. It weaves in stories of perseverance, empathy, creativity, and showcases innovations anchored in the latest neuroscience and technology advance – all driven by the desire to unlock the inherent human potential in any child. This hope-filled book seeks to change how we raise our children, how we run early learning environments, and how we construct care-full communities. It aims to inspire and engage readers, catalyze new solutions, and in doing so, change our understanding of childhood itself.
Love's Body
by Norman O. BrownOriginally published in 1966 and now recognized as a classic, Norman O. Brown's meditation on the condition of humanity and its long fall from the grace of a natural, instinctual innocence is available once more for a new generation of readers. Love's Body is a continuation of the explorations begun in Brown's famous Life Against Death. Rounding out the trilogy is Brown's brilliant Apocalypse and/or Metamorphosis.
Love's Executioner: & Other Tales of Psychotherapy
by Irvin D. YalomThe collection of ten absorbing tales by master psychotherapist Irvin D. Yalom uncovers the mysteries, frustrations, pathos, and humor at the heart of the therapeutic encounter. In recounting his patients' dilemmas, Yalom not only gives us a rare and enthralling glimpse into their personal desires and motivations but also tells us his own story as he struggles to reconcile his all-too human responses with his sensibility as a psychiatrist. Not since Freud has an author done so much to clarify what goes on between a psychotherapist and a patient.
Love's Last Gift
by Bebhinn RamsayIn May 2007, while on a family holiday, Bébhinn Ramsay's husband Alastair woke in the middle of the night with a fever. Just over forty-eight hours later, he died in hospital from a rare complication to a common infection. At the age of thirty-one, Bébhinn had not only lost her soulmate and the father of her two young sons, but also her faith in life.In this captivating memoir of hope, courage and eternal love, we journey with Bébhinn as she searches for answers and a sense of meaning to her husband's untimely death, and discover how she comes to find peace and happiness by opening her mind and her heart.
Love's Last Gift
by Bebhinn RamsayIn May 2007, while on a family holiday, Bébhinn Ramsay's husband Alastair woke in the middle of the night with a fever. Just over forty-eight hours later, he died in hospital from a rare complication to a common infection. At the age of thirty-one, Bébhinn had not only lost her soulmate and the father of her two young sons, but also her faith in life.In this captivating memoir of hope, courage and eternal love, we journey with Bébhinn as she searches for answers and a sense of meaning to her husband's untimely death, and discover how she comes to find peace and happiness by opening her mind and her heart.
Love's Next Meeting: The Forgotten History of Homosexuality and the Left in American Culture
by Aaron LeckliderHow queerness and radical politics intersected—earlier than you thought. Well before Stonewall, a broad cross section of sexual dissidents took advantage of their space on the margins of American society to throw themselves into leftist campaigns. Sensitive already to sexual marginalization, they also saw how class inequality was exacerbated by the Great Depression, witnessing the terrible bread lines and bread riots of the era. They participated in radical labor organizing, sympathized like many with the early prewar Soviet Union, contributed to the Republicans in the Spanish Civil War, opposed US police and state harassment, fought racial discrimination, and aligned themselves with the dispossessed. Whether they were themselves straight, gay, or otherwise queer, they brought sexual dissidence and radicalism into conversation at the height of the Left's influence on American culture. Combining rich archival research with inventive analysis of art and literature, Love’s Next Meeting explores the relationship between homosexuality and the Left in American culture between 1920 and 1960. Aaron S. Lecklider uncovers a lively cast of individuals and dynamic expressive works, revealing remarkably progressive engagement with homosexuality among radicals, workers, and the poor. Leftists connected sexual dissidence with radical gender politics, antiracism, and challenges to censorship and obscenity laws through the 1920s and 1930s. In the process, a wide array of activists, organizers, artists, and writers laid the foundation for a radical movement through which homosexual lives and experiences were given shape and new political identities were forged. Love's Next Meeting cuts to the heart of some of the biggest questions in American history: questions about socialism, about sexuality, about the supposed clash still making headlines today between leftist politics and identity politics. What emerges is a dramatic, sexually vibrant story of the shared struggles for liberation across the twentieth century.
Love's Refraction
by Jillian DeriPopular wisdom might suggest that jealousy is an inevitable outcome of non-monogamous relationships. In Love's Refraction, Jillian Deri explores the distinctive question of how and why polyamorists - people who practice consensual non-monogamy - manage jealousy. Her focus is on the polyamorist concept of "compersion" - taking pleasure in a lover's other romantic and sexual encounters.By discussing the experiences of queer, lesbian, and bisexual polyamorous women, Deri highlights the social and structural context that surrounds jealousy. Her analysis, making use of the sociology of emotion and feminist intersectionality theory, shows how polyamory challenges traditional emotional and sexual norms.Clear and concise, Love's Refraction speaks to both the academic and the polyamorous community. Deri lets her interviewees speak for themselves, linking academic theory and personal experiences in a sophisticated, engaging, and accessible way.
Love's Return: Psychoanalytic Essays on Childhood, Teaching, and Learning
by Paula M. Salvio Gail M. BoldtThe idea that teachers love children is often taken for granted in education. Rarely is the idea of love itself examined. Bringing together the work of educators, curriculum theorists and clinical psychoanalysts, and drawing upon autobiographical and narrative case studies, this groundbreaking collection examines the collision of love and learning, including the ways in which such intersections are provoked, repressed and denied. Contributors turn to psychoanalysis to explore questions of love in all of its varying permutations - ambivalence, sexuality, hatred, desire, projection, and loss - in order to demonstrate how the social ramifications of such work is critical to the ways teachers are currently being prepared for life in the classroom.
Love, Fear, and Health
by Robert Maunder Jonathan HunterCan the way in which we relate to others seriously affect our health? Can understanding those attachments help health care providers treat us better? In Love, Fear, and Health, psychiatrists Robert Maunder and Jonathan Hunter draw on evidence from neuroscience, stress physiology, social psychology, and evolutionary biology to explain how understanding attachment - the ways in which people seek security in their close relationships - can transform patient outcomes.Using attachment theory, Maunder and Hunter provide a practical, clinically focused introduction to the influence of attachment styles on an individual's risk of disease and the effectiveness of their interactions with health care providers. Drawing on more than fifty years of combined experience as health care providers, teachers, and researchers, they explain in clear language how health care workers in all disciplines can use this knowledge to meet their patients' needs better and to improve their health.
Love, Hate and Knowledge: The Kleinian Method and the Future of Psychoanalysis
by Robert WaskaThis book introduces the clinical concept of analytic contact. This is a term that describes the therapeutic method of investigation that makes up psychoanalytic treatment. The field has been in debate for decades regarding what constitutes psychoanalysis. This usually centers on theoretical ideals regarding analyzability, goals, or procedure and external criteria such as frequency or use of couch. Instead, the concept of analytic contact looks at what takes place with a patient in the clinical situation. Each chapter in this book follows a wide spectrum of cases and clinical situations where hard to reach patients are provided the best opportunity for health and healing through the establishment of analytic contact. This case material closely tracks each patient's phantasies, and transference mechanisms which work to either increase, oppose, embrace, or neutralize, analytic contact. In addition, the fundamental internal conflicts all patients struggle with between love, hate, and knowledge are represented by extensive case reports.
Love, Intimacy and Online Dating: How a Global Pandemic Redefined Romantic Relationships
by Lisa PortolanLove, Intimacy and Online Dating: How a Global Pandemic Redefined Romantic Relationships is an innovative work that explores the concept of intimacy during the COVID-19 pandemic. The book provides an overview of the online dating world and apps, the use of which gradually became common as the pandemic restricted people’s interaction in the physical world. The author’s extensive research conducted during the pandemic posits a comprehensive understanding of the individual’s motivation to join a dating app and explores its varied aspects. This thoroughly researched book explores the themes and elements of online dating and examines the users’ motivation for joining a dating app, for seeking intimacy as well as for self-presentation on the app. Portolan examines the underlying politics and role of infrastructure of dating apps and describes how gender, power, and intimacy intersect to create new intimacy phenomena. She also utilises her research to put forth the key concept of "Jagged Love", which describes a user’s cyclical relationship with dating apps during the pandemic, and the gap between a user’s act to seek familiar romantic narratives and the app’s inability to deliver against these ideas. The chapters further explore the differences between virtual and In Real Life (IRL) intimacy, the generation of gender and the emanation of stereotypical cultural ideals that the users sought through the apps. The book serves as an invaluable discussion on the pandemic’s impact on modifying the definitions of romance and intimacy. This book will be useful for highlighting the impact social factors can have on familiar concepts and the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic on the definition of love and intimacy, making it fascinating for students, academics and professionals interested in relationships, digital media and gender. It will also be useful in enhancing the comprehension of love and romance in the fields of social science.
Love, Intimacy, and the African American Couple (Routledge Series on Family Therapy and Counseling)
by Jon Carlson Katherine M. HelmThis exciting new text on counseling African American couples outlines critical components to providing culturally-sensitive treatment. Built around a framework that examines African American couples’ issues as well as the specific contextual factors that can negatively impact their relationships, it:• Addresses threats to love and intimacy for Black couples• Provides culturally relevant, strengths-based approaches and assessment practices• Includes interesting case studies at the conclusion of each chapter that illustrate important concepts.The chapters span the current state of couple relationships; readers will find information for working with lesbians and gays in relationships, pastoral counseling, and intercultural Black couples. There is also a chapter for non-Black therapists who work with Black clients. Dispersed throughout the book are interviews with prominent African American couples’ experts: Dr. Chalandra Bryant, relationship expert Audrey B. Chapman, Dr. Daryl Rowe and Dr. Sandra Lyons-Rowe, and Dr. Thomas Parham. They provide personal insight on issues such as the strengths African Americans bring to relationships, their skills and struggles, and gender and class considerations. This must-read book will significantly help you and your clients.
Love, Learning Disabilities and Pockets of Brilliance: How Practitioners Can Make a Difference to the Lives of Children, Families and Adults
by Sara RyanFind some pockets of brilliance for your practice! Insights and inspiration from families of learning disabled people, who share their lives, challenges and wishes. Discover what sorts of help will really help the people you support.
Love, Life, and the List
by Kasie WestWhat do you do when you’ve fallen for your best friend? Funny and romantic, this effervescent story about family, friendship, and finding yourself is perfect for fans of Sarah Dessen and Jenny Han.Seventeen-year-old Abby Turner’s summer isn’t going the way she’d planned. She has a not-so-secret but definitely unrequited crush on her best friend, Cooper. She hasn’t been able to manage her mother’s growing issues with anxiety. And now she’s been rejected from an art show because her work “has no heart.” So when she gets another opportunity to show her paintings, Abby isn’t going to take any chances.Which is where the list comes in.Abby gives herself one month to do ten things, ranging from face a fear (#3) to learn a stranger’s story (#5) to fall in love (#8). She knows that if she can complete the list, she’ll become the kind of artist she’s always dreamed of being.But as the deadline approaches, Abby realizes that getting through the list isn’t as straightforward as it seems . . . and that maybe—just maybe—she can’t change her art if she isn’t first willing to change herself.
Love, Loyalty and Deceit: Rosemary Firth, a Life in the Shadow of Two Eminent Men
by Hugh Firth Loulou BrownHow much do we really know about our parents’ lives? What secrets lie in plain sight? This is the true story of hidden love within a small circle of some of the most acclaimed anthropologists of the 20th century. Told by Rosemary and Raymond Firth's son, and the daughter of Celia and Edmund Leach, the man Rosemary loved all her life, this part love-story, part biography, part social history is the tale of a highly influential circle of social anthropologists in Britain from the 1930s, through the Second World War, to the end of the century. The book explores their early influences, their insecurities, their flaws, struggles and achievements. It is a story of passion and commitment, but also of deceit and betrayal, including the inexplicable disappearance, death and alleged murder of a very close friend. It also narrates Rosemary's struggles for emotional and intellectual independence in the face of societal expectations of women and her own guilt, loss and self-doubt. From the Prologue: Rosemary loved many people in many different ways, but she loved two men in particular throughout most of her life. One was her husband, Raymond Firth, regarded by some as among the founding fathers of social anthropology. Yet she also retained a passionate devotion to her first love, Edmund Leach, who would subsequently become the public intellectual face of social anthropology in the later 1960s. Both separately and together they were part of the process of defining the nature of this still growing discipline in the first part of the mid-twentieth century.