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Love Matters: A Book of Lesbian Romance and Relationships
by Linda Sutton Ellen Cole Esther D RothblumLove Matters: A Book of Lesbian Romance and Relationships is a collection of advice columns and personal reflections that will help lesbian couples validate and appreciate their unique relationships. With excerpts taken from the author’s “Love Matters” column in the lesbian newspaper New Phazes, this book explores real-life questions and issues that lesbians have about dating, sex, love, and relationship longevity. From Love Matters, you’ll receive honest, informative advice that can help you and your partner share a more open and fulfilling relationship.Offering support, care, and understanding for lesbian couples, Love Matters seeks to recognize the “new female role” for lesbian women. Using her 15-year long relationship as a basis for many of the responses, the author provides you with suggestions and insight into topics relating to lesbian relationships, such as: keeping sex alive in a long-term relationship handling finances fairly and successfully supporting your partner through the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes caused by menopause identifying the difficulties of dating and what lesbians look for on a date questioning the purpose of and emotions caused by a long-distance relationship realizing how homophobia affects love and relationshipsWhile focusing on the joys and experiences of couples, this book also addresses depression and loneliness felt by single lesbians, break-ups, and the death of a partner. You’ll find that Love Matters offers comfort, hope, and humor that will help you understand the difficulties and rewards of your lesbian relationship.
Love Our Cities: How a city-wide volunteer day can unite and transform your community
by Jeff PishneyLove Our Cities operates from a simple idea: come alongside those who want to make a difference in their cities so they can come alongside individuals in their communities to make things better. Founding members of the nonprofit organization Love Our Cities, Jeff Pishney and Eric Jung have seen how a city-wide volunteer day can catalyze community improvement—by engaging individuals with the city they inhabit. Each chapter of Love Our Cities addresses their method behind the madness, why it works, and the practical next steps that anyone can use to kick off city-wide volunteer efforts.Jeff Pishney and Eric Jung understand that the best way to support a community is to meet the specific needs of that area. By using their past experiences investing in Modesto and other cities, they provide a clear, actionable approach to enact city-wide change. Their volunteer days have been uniquely successful in connecting ongoing initiatives, building networks, and growing community buy-in for programs and organizations already on the ground. Their message in Love Our Cities is broken into four parts:Part One depicts their journey from the initial Love Modesto efforts in 2009 to the 100-some cities participating in their Love Our Cities network in 2020 Part Two explains at the elements that are necessary to know prior to any community engagement, in order to create a solid foundation for long-term successPart Three examines the “nuts and bolts” of running a city-wide volunteer dayPart Four takes it to the next level—describing how successful city-wide volunteer days have changed the game and outlining what a year-round city movement might look likeBy shining a spotlight on the cities they’ve partnered with over the years, Jeff Pishney and Eric Jung hope that their community-minded approach in Love Our Cities encourages readers to dream about their own city’s potential—and how they can make a difference.
Love Stories: Language, Private Love, And Public Romance In Georgia
by Paul ManningIn the remote highlands of the country of Georgia, a small group of mountaindwellers called the Khevsurs used to express sexuality and romance in ways that appear to be highly paradoxical. On the one hand, their practices were romantic, but could never lead to marriage. On the other hand, they were sexual, but didn't correspond to what North Americans, or most Georgians, would have called sex. These practices were well documented by early ethnographers before they disappeared completely by the midtwentieth century, and have become a Georgian obsession. In this fascinating book, Manning recreates the story of how these private, secretive practices became a matter of national interest, concern, and fantasy. Looking at personal expressions of love and the circulation of these narratives at the broader public level of the modern nation, Love Stories offers an ethnography of language and desire that doubles as an introduction to key linguistic genres and to the interplay of language and culture.
Love Under the Skin: Interracial Marriages in the American South and France
by Cécile Coquet-MokokoThe rising visibility of interracial couples calls for increased attention to the overlapping of culture and race, in safe spaces centered on small-group dynamics, or in public spaces where peoples of African descent are under the public gaze. This comparative study seeks to de-center the U.S-centered viewpoint common to much of the literature on black/white relations. Based on nine years of fieldwork in the American South and in France, Coquet shows many unexpected parallels between the two societies. Gendered perceptions of cultural authenticity and sexual ethics are a guiding thread, being inseparable from the historical and political contingencies (re-)defining acceptable forms of dating, marrying, and parenting among cis-heterosexual couples in both societies. Her account emphasizes resilience and agency as couples seek to protect themselves and their children, while their extended or symbolic kinship networks help white partners acknowledge the existence of racial privilege.
Love and Anger: Essays on AIDS, Activism, and Politics
by Peter F CohenLove and Anger: Essays on AIDS, Activism, and Politics is one of the first books to take an interdisciplinary approach to AIDS activism and politics by looking at the literary response to the disease, class issues, and the AIDS activist group ACT UP. Containing both literary analysis and interviews with activists, Love and Anger will help you understand the unique struggle of a certain class of gay men, why the author challenges the belief that ACT UP is a radical group, and why the love story is a central part of the literary response to AIDS. Examining ACT UP in relation to class issues, Love and Anger discusses how, for certain middle-to upper-middle-class men in the group, ACT UP represented a political response not to fundamental social inequalities, but to the fact that their class position could not benefit them in the absence of an AIDS cure. In addition, you will gain insight into the political methods and goals of ACT UP through interviews with ACT UP members, and find out why the group is sometimes misperceived as being radical, “too gay, ” or “not gay enough.” Different from many other recent works, Love and Anger also combines literary analysis with fieldwork in order to examine the literary response to AIDS from historical and sociological contexts, not just a literary context. Drawing on the fields of anthropology, sociology, political science, history, and literary studies, this text provides you with an original interpretation of a number of novels and plays, including: Afterlife, a novel by Paul Monette, and The Normal Heart, a play by Larry Kramer, both of which envision the return of the class privileges that certain gay men had before AIDS emerged People in Trouble, a novel by Sarah Schulman, which challenges gay men to stop striving for the privileges of straight males and instead to focus on an AIDS movement that will support all groups affected by the epidemic Angels in America, a play by Tony Kushner, which demonstrates the incompatibility of love and political struggle in literature about AIDSBy examining AIDS activism and politics through the love story and through real-life examples such as ACT UP, Love and Anger integrates fact and fiction in a scholarly, yet comprehensible manner. It will give you a clearer understanding of the issues surrounding AIDS activism and politics, as well as give you insight into the attitudes and feelings of those affected by the disease.
Love and Compassion: Exploring their Role in Education
by John P. MillerAcademics often speak about love for their subject, mathematicians discuss their love for figures and numbers, and elementary school teachers speak about their love of children. As multidimensional as love is, it is often a taboo subject relative to teachers and students. In Love and Compassion, John P. Miller explores different forms of love, including self-love, the love of others, compassion, the love of learning, and cosmic love, and how these dimensions of love have the potential to improve education. Love and Compassion is both a practical and conceptual work, and will interest those involved in the study and practise of holistic and contemplative education. In addition to the seven dimensions of love, Miller’s evaluation includes nonviolent action, the love of beauty, and how they are crucial to the practise of teaching.
Love and Friendship Across Cultures: Perspectives from East and West
by Soraj Hongladarom Jeremiah Joven JoaquinThis collection brings together different philosophical points of view discussing two important aspects of human life, namely love and friendship, within the broad context of comparative philosophy. These points of view differ in terms of their cultural orientations - East or West, ancient or modern; philosophical methodologies - analytical, historical, experimental, or phenomenological, broadly construed; and motivation - explanatory, revisionary, or argumentative. The volume is a comparative treatment of how diverse philosophical cultures view love and friendship, such as how Aristotle and Confucius’ views on friendship are similar and different, how the ancient Greeks and the Buddhists view friendship and happiness, and how posthumous love is possible. With contributions from a diverse set of scholars, this book presents the emerging views of Southeast Asian philosophers compared with those of philosophers from other regions, including Europe and North America. The volume thus provides a multi-faceted way of understanding love and friendship across cultures, and will be relevant to scholars interested in philosophy, the history of ideas, Asian Studies, and religious studies.
Love and Hate: The Natural History of Behavior Patterns
by Irenaus Eibl-EibesfeldtThe author argues that there are specific turning points in evolution. Structures and behavioral patterns that evolved in the service of discrete functions sometimes allow for unforeseen new developments as a side effect. In retrospect, they have proven to be pre-adaptations, and serve as raw material for natural selection to work upon. Love and Hate was intended to complement Konrad Lorenz's book, On Aggression, by pointing out our motivations to provide nurturing, and thus to counteract and correct the widespread but one-sided opinion that biologists always present nature as bloody in tooth and claw and intra-specific aggression as the prime mover of evolution. This simplistic image is, nonetheless, still with us, all the more regrettably because it hampers discussion across scholarly disciplines. Eibl-Eibesfeldt argues that leaders in individualized groups are chosen for their pro-social abilities. Those who comfort group members in distress, who are able to intervene in quarrels and to protect group members who are attacked, those who share, those who, in brief, show abilities to nurture, are chosen by the others as leaders, rather than those who use their abilities in competitive ways. Of course, group leaders may need, beyond their pro-social competence, to be gifted as orators, war leaders, or healers. Issues of love and hate are social in origin and hence social in consequence. Life has emerged on this planet in a succession of new forms, from the simplest algae to man-man the one being who reflects upon this creation, who seeks to fashion it himself and who, in the process, may end by destroying it. It would indeed be grotesque if the question of the meaning of life were to be solved in this way. In language that is clear and accessible throughout, arguing forcefully for the innate and "preprogrammed" dispositions of behavior in higher vertebrates, including humans, Eibl-Eibesfeldt steers a middle course in discussing the development of cultural and ethical norms while insisting on their matrix of biological origins.
Love and Intimacy in Contemporary Society: Love in an International Context
by Ann BrooksLove and Intimacy in Contemporary Society reflects on relationships in contemporary society and the role of love and intimacy in framing lives. The book draws on sociological perspectives, cultural sociology and gender theory perspectives. It looks at how love and intimacy is experienced differently and intersected by gender, ethnicity, race and sexuality. This book aims to encourage people to understand theories of intimacy, emotions and desire by examining these concepts contemporaneously and cross-culturally. It also explores how love and intimacy is experienced by young people and how it is impacted by age. It looks at its representation in the media and film and focuses on how gender, ethnicity and sexuality offer different perspectives on love and intimacy. The book shows how relationships are impacted by social networking and new technologies and the opportunities and challenges posed by these new platforms for building relationships. Finally, the book examines how intimacy has become commercialised in late capitalism and how that acts to change relationships. The book is written in an accessible way and explores a range of theoretical debates and contemporary research around emotions, which can be useful for undergraduate, postgraduate and doctoral study.
Love and Intimacy in Online Cross-Cultural Relationships: The Power of Imagination (Palgrave Macmillan Studies in Family and Intimate Life)
by Wilasinee PananakhonsabThis book challenges assumptions about the motivations that drive women from relatively poor, developing countries to use intermarriage dating sites to find partners from relatively wealthy, developed countries. It is generally assumed that economic deprivation or economic opportunities are the main factors, but this book instead focuses on the work of women’s imagination in online cross-cultural relationships, including the role of desire, love and intimacy. The experiences of Thai women are used to explore how they initiate, develop and maintain love and intimacy with Western men across distance and time. The book shows that, in the absence of opportunities to search and meet partners from geographically distant parts of the world, the technology of the internet offers new ways of searching for and managing relationships and has significant consequences for local experiences and expectations of love and partnering. The book will be of interest to scholars and students with an interest in family and intimate life, gender and sexualities, Asian and Thai studies, globalization and nationalism, culture and media, sociology and anthropology.
Love and Loneliness at Work: An Inspirational Guide for Consultants, Leaders and Other Professionals
by Birgitte Bonnerup Annemette HasselagerLove and loneliness, in both their presence and absence, are key aspects of our lives – including our working lives. Love and Loneliness at Work offers an accessible and practical starting point for understanding the connections between emotions, individual working life and organizations, focusing on love and loneliness. The book begins with an engaging chapter-length case study that illuminates the themes discussed. Taking a psychodynamic perpective, Bonnerup and Hasselager examine love and how it influences our feelings about tasks, organizations and participation, as well as uniquely exploring pairs in working life. The book explores loneliness as an inner state of mind, as an aspect of the professional role and as a group dynamic experience, and assesses the psychological burden of feeling lonely in an organization. Bonnerup and Hasselager also provide an overview of key theoretical concepts, including the unconscious, anxiety, libido, projective processes, and the concepts of inner and outer self, providing the tools required to examine, understand and work with the emotional strength and vulnerability of an organization. This book provides unique insights into how understanding these feelings can help leaders, decision makers and employees contribute to healthier and happier workplaces. It will be an essential guide for coaches in practice and in training, as well as leaders and managers, human resources (HR) and learning and development (L&D) professionals and consultants within organizations seeking to expand their understanding of organizational dynamics. With its strong theoretical base, it will also be of interest to academics and students of coaching, coaching psychology, psychodynamic consulting, organizational psychology, leadership and management and organizational change, and to anyone seeking an insight into the emotional dynamics of working life.
Love and Organization: Lessons of Love for Human Dignity, Leadership and Motivation (Humanistic Management)
by Michael PirsonOrganizations are not human, but they are made up of people. Examining the organization, functioning, growing and developing and moving together as one unit, the well-being and success of that organization depends on the well-being of people that make it up. Love, in its various forms, is the energy that motivates and fuels creativity, care, innovation, progress and well-being. Traditionally, organizational structures have been set up to support compliance and command and control, which often discourages love and creates policies against love at the workplace. The result has been reduced growth, productivity and retention of businesses as well as reduced well-being for employees. This reduced connectivity between individuals has also, at a higher level, adversely affected society. Without love, people are working and performing with reduced energy, and at reduced capacity. While prior research has been focused on love at the workplace from the viewpoint of psychologists, this book explores the impact of love within organizational contexts from various viewpoints including management, psychology, and philosophy. It explores love in the organizational context by looking at how it affects meaning, purpose, well-being, motivation, faith, care, spiritual development and how the identity and well-being of each person in the organization positively affects retention and the growth and success of that organization. It will be of interest to researchers, academics, and advanced students in the fields of organizational studies, leadership, and management.
Love and Romance in Britain, 1918�1970
by Alana Harris Timothy Willem JonesThe new histories of love and romance offered within this edited collection illustrate the many changes, but also the surprising continuities in understandings of love, romance, affection, intimacy and sex from the First World War until the beginning of the Women's Liberation movement.
Love and Sex with Robots
by David Levy Adrian David Cheok Kate DevlinLove, marriage, and sex with robots? Not in a million years? Maybe a whole lot sooner! A leading expert in artificial intelligence, David Levy argues that the entities we once deemed cold and mechanical will soon become the objects of real companionship and human desire. He shows how automata have evolved and how human interactions with technology have changed over the years. Levy explores many aspects of human relationships—the reasons we fall in love, why we form emotional attachments to animals and virtual pets, and why these same attachments could extend to love for robots. Levy also examines how society's ideas about what constitutes normal sex have changed—and will continue to change—as sexual technology becomes increasingly sophisticated. Shocking, eye-opening, provocative, and utterly convincing, Love and Sex with Robots is compelling reading for anyone with an open mind.
Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships (Lecture Notes In Computer Science Ser. #10237)
by David LevyLove, marriage, and sex with robots? Not in a million years? Maybe a whole lot sooner!A leading expert in artificial intelligence, David Levy argues that the entities we once deemed cold and mechanical will soon become the objects of real companionship and human desire. He shows how automata have evolved and how human interactions with technology have changed over the years. Levy explores many aspects of human relationships—the reasons we fall in love, why we form emotional attachments to animals and virtual pets, and why these same attachments could extend to love for robots. Levy also examines how society's ideas about what constitutes normal sex have changed—and will continue to change—as sexual technology becomes increasingly sophisticated. Shocking, eye-opening, provocative, and utterly convincing, Love and Sex with Robots is compelling reading for anyone with an open mind.
Love and Sexuality in Social Theory (Classical and Contemporary Social Theory)
by Mariano Longo Emiliano Bevilacqua Jacobsen Michael HviidLove and Sexuality in Social Theory considers the role that love and sexuality play in private and public life. Drawing on both classical and contemporary social theory, this book presents both theoretical and empirical studies of love and sexuality as social factors, from the earliest reconstructions of modern emotional life to the most recent analyses of liquid love. With attention to the consequences that passions and desires have both on morals and behaviour, it departs from the analysis of society in terms of the division of labour and utilitarian mechanisms to consider how a society based on performances values human energy and emotional behaviour in a contradictory way. This book, therefore, presents and discusses classic authors, from Georg Simmel and Pitirim Sorokin to Marianne Weber and Simone De Beauvoir, through the work of Erving Goffman and ending with contemporary authors such as Michel Foucault, Anthony Giddens, Zygmunt Bauman, Ulrich Beck, and Eva Illouz.By presenting love as the social foundation of altruism, an essential element in modern conceptions of subjectivity, and a force shaping intimacy and contemporary social life, this book will appeal to scholars of sociology, particularly those interested in social theory and the sociology of emotions.
Love and Society: Special Social Forms and the Master Emotion (Routledge Studies in the Sociology of Emotions)
by Swen SeebachWhy does love matter? Love and Society discusses the meaning and importance of love for contemporary society. Love is not only an emotion that occurs in our intimate relationships; it is a special emotion that allows us to relate to each other in a lasting fashion, to create out of our individual pasts a shared past, which enables us to project a shared future. Bringing together the idea of Simmel’s second order forms with theories of love, this insightful volume shows that the answer to why love is so central to society can be found in the social transformation of the last two centuries. It also explains how we can build our strongest social bonds on the fragility of an emotions thanks to the creation of "special moments" (love rituals) and "intimate stories" (love myths) that are central to the weaving of lasting social bonds. Going to the cinema, reading a book together or sharing songs are forms of weaving bonds of love and part of the cycle of love. But love is not only shared between two people; the desire and the search for love is something we share with almost all members of society. With rich empirical data, an analysis of love’s transformation in modernity, and a critical engagement with classical and contemporary theorists, this book provides a lively discussion on the meaning and importance of love for today’s society. It will be of interest to undergraduate and postgraduate students and postdoctoral researchers who are interested in fields such as Sociology of Emotions, Sociological Theory and Sociology of Morality.
Love and the Market: How to Recover from the Enlightenment and Survive the Current Crisis
by Rob Faure WalkerLove is fundamental to the flourishing of society and nature. However, the competition of the market economy has resulted in a fractured and traumatized modern world. Revisiting philosophical developments and countercultures since the Enlightenment, this book offers a ‘loving critique’. It shows how learning to love better is the key to releasing ourselves from the alienating grip of the market. The utopian template presented draws on archaeology, the witch trials, hippies, Hinduism, Buddhism, quantum mechanics and psychedelics to describe how we can build a more loving society that can survive and flourish through the ecological, ethical, economic and existential crises that we all now face.
Love as Always, Mum xxx: The true and terrible story of surviving a childhood with Fred and Rose West
by Mae West'A CHILLING new memoir by the daughter of mass murderer Fred West and his wife Rose describes the savage cruelty of her upbringing in 25 Cromwell Street, Gloucester' DAILY MAIL'Mae, I mean this ... I'm not a good person and I let all you children down ...' Rose West, HM PRISON DURHAM It has taken over 20 years for Mae West to find the perspective and strength to tell her remarkable story: one of an abusive, violent childhood, of her serial killer parents and how she has rebuilt her life in the shadow of their terrible crimes. Through her own memories, research and the letters her mother wrote to her from prison, Mae shares her emotionally powerful account of her life as a West. From a toddler locked in the deathly basement to a teen fighting off the sexual advances of her father, Mae's story is one of survival. It also answers the questions: how do you come to terms with knowing your childhood bedroom was a graveyard? How do you accept the fact your parents sexually tortured, murdered and dismembered young women? How do you become a mother yourself when you're haunted by the knowledge that your own mother was a monster? Why were you spared and how do you escape the nightmare?What other readers are saying about Love as Always, Mum xxx:'A fascinating read. Mae West seems like such a warmhearted and caring person. It was heart-breaking to hear about what she went through.' 5* Goodreads'This book is truly moving in many ways and as much as I want to say I enjoyed it, I didn't, because it was heart-wrenching, but that's why it's a 5-star read. So much emotion and truth. It's definitely hard not to be moved by this.' 5* Goodreads'This is an extremely important story to read, giving Mae a voice to be verbal about breaking the cycle of abuse and surviving a terror she never thought she would be a part of. And because of that, it deserves five stars.' 5* Goodreads'This has got to be the most heartbreaking and emotionally demanding book I have ever read ... a heart wrenching and powerful read.' 5* Goodreads'As an avid reader of true crime books I had read a lot about Feed and Rose West. However with all of those books I had never considered their surviving children. This feels like such a raw, honest and real account of day to day life in 25 Cromwell Street. Good on you Mae for your strength to tell your story.' 5* Goodreads'A hauntingly tragic book. I couldn't put it down from start to finish.' 5* Goodreads
Love as a Collective Action: Latin America, Emotions and Interstitial Practices (Routledge Studies in the Sociology of Emotions)
by Adrian ScribanoThis book makes evident how love, as an interstitial practice, produces a set of collective practices and how, through a mapping of these practices, it is possible to observe the connection between the politics of sensibilities and social conflict. The book provides – in the face of a global normalization of immediate enjoyment through consumption, the internationalization of fear and anxiety, the rise of "post-truth" and a distrust regarding politics – a systematic analysis of love as an interstitial practice. This book follows a sociology of body/emotions approaches within which sensations, emotions and sensibilities are part of dialectical social structuration process. The book proposes love not only as an effect or trait of a society, but also as an analytical tool for better understanding the processes of social structuring. It connects a sociology of bodies/emotions with a specific perspective on collective action and links conflictual structures and the politics of sensibilities in six Latin American countries by using a strategy of inquiry attuned to current patterns of social transformation, that of digital ethnography. This work is of interest to a wide public, those who want to know which emotions are the prevailing in Latin America, as well as specialists such as sociologists, political scientists, anthropologists and all researchers and graduate students who are interested in the connections between conflict, society and emotions.
Love for the Land: Lessons from Farmers Who Persist in Place (Yale Agrarian Studies Series)
by Brooks LambA moving exploration of presence and place told through the stories of small-scale farmers who, despite intense adversity, continue caring for their land Love for the Land explores the power and potential of people-place relationships. Through clear and compelling prose, it elevates the virtues of imagination, affection, and fidelity—concepts promoted by farmer-writer Wendell Berry—and shows how they motivate small- and mid-scale farmers to care for the land, even in the face of adversity. Paying particular attention to farmland loss from suburban sprawl, rampant agricultural consolidation, and, for farmers of color, racial injustice, Brooks Lamb reckons with the harsh realities that these farmers face. Drawing from in-depth interviews and hands-on experiences in two changing rural communities, he shares stories and sacrifices from dozens of farmers, local leaders, agricultural service providers, and land conservationists. Lamb&’s rural roots and farming background enable him to cultivate honest, trusting connections with the farmers he engages, yielding raw and powerful insights. Time and again, compelling evidence reveals that stewardship virtues encourage people to live and act as devoted caretakers. With a refreshing, accessible, and engaging approach, Lamb argues that these resilient and often overlooked farmers show rural and urban people alike a way forward, one that serves people, places, and the planet. That path is rooted in love for the land.
Love in Action
by Thich Nhat Hanh Foreword by Daniel BerriganLove in Action is a collection of more than two decades of Thich Nhat Hanh's seminal writings on nonviolence, peace, and reconciliation. Reflecting on the devastation of war--from Vietnam to the Persian Gulf--Nhat Hanh speaks in the tradition of Gandhi and King of the need for mindfulness, and altruistic love as the basis for political action. "Exploring the roots of war or describing the path to peace, nobody makes more sense than Thich Nhat Hanh. "--Inquiring Mind "[Nhat Hanh] articulates the central teaching that violence originates in each person. . . and that with the practice of mediation and mindfulness it can be overcome. "--The San Francisco Chronicle
Love in a Different Climate: Men Who Have Sex with Men in India
by Jeremy SeabrookThis text discusses how valid Western models of sexual identity are in the South Asian context, and how effective they might be in dealing with global issues of sexual health, HIV awareness, and gender politics. Much of the text is based on interviews.
Love in a F*cked-Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together
by Dean SpadeIn this inspiring self-help handbook, a trans activist dares us to be the change we want to see—both out in the world, and amongst our closest connections. Lifelong activist and educator Dean Spade dares us to decide that our interpersonal actions are not separate from our politics of liberation and resistance. Many activist projects and resistance groups fall apart because people treat each other poorly, trying desperately to live out the cultural myths about dating and relationships that we are fed from an early age. How do we divest from the idea that one romantic partner will be the solution to all our problems? How do we bring our best thinking about freedom and justice into step with our desires for healing and connection? Love in a F*cked-Up World is a resounding call to action and a practical manifesto for how to combat cultural scripts and take our relationships into our own hands, preparing us for the work of changing the world.
Love in the Time of Algorithms
by Dan Slater“If online dating can blunt the emotional pain of separation, if adults can afford to be increasingly demanding about what they want from a relationship, the effect of online dating seems positive. But what if it’s also the case that the prospect of finding an ever more compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, a paradox of choice that keeps us chasing the illusive bunny around the dating track?” It’s the mother of all search problems: how to find a spouse, a mate, a date. The escalating marriage age and declining marriage rate mean we’re spending a greater portion of our lives unattached, searching for love well into our thirties and forties. It’s no wonder that a third of America’s 90 million singles are turning to dating Web sites. Once considered the realm of the lonely and desperate, sites like eHarmony, Match, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish have been embraced by pretty much every demographic. Thanks to the increasingly efficient algorithms that power these sites, dating has been transformed from a daunting transaction based on scarcity to one in which the possibilities are almost endless. Now anyone—young, old, straight, gay, and even married—can search for exactly what they want, connect with more people, and get more information about those people than ever before. As journalist Dan Slater shows, online dating is changing society in more profound ways than we imagine. He explores how these new technologies, by altering our perception of what’s possible, are reconditioning our feelings about commitment and challenging the traditional paradigm of adult life. Like the sexual revolution of the 1960s and ’70s, the digital revolution is forcing us to ask new questions about what constitutes “normal”: Why should we settle for someone who falls short of our expectations if there are thousands of other options just a click away? Can commitment thrive in a world of unlimited choice? Can chemistry really be quantified by math geeks? As one of Slater’s subjects wonders, “What’s the etiquette here?” Blending history, psychology, and interviews with site creators and users, Slater takes readers behind the scenes of a fascinating business. Dating sites capitalize on our quest for love, but how do their creators’ ideas about profits, morality, and the nature of desire shape the virtual worlds they’ve created for us? Should we trust an industry whose revenue model benefits from our avoiding monogamy? Documenting the untold story of the online-dating industry’s rise from ignominy to ubiquity—beginning with its early days as “computer dating” at Harvard in 1965—Slater offers a lively, entertaining, and thought provoking account of how we have, for better and worse, embraced technology in the most intimate aspect of our lives. .