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The Elf Express: Book 17 (Frankie's Magic Football #17)
by Frank LampardFrankie and his team love playing football. There's always time for a game - even at Christmas!Frankie and his friends are spending Christmas in Austria with his pen pal Heidi. He is excited to learn how to ski, even if it's not quite the same as playing football. Late on Christmas Eve they discover a lost elf who needs help. Frankie's team will need to use all their skills to get the elf back to his world, and return in time for Christmas!
The Elf Express: Book 17 (Frankie's Magic Football #17)
by Frank LampardFrankie and his team love playing football. There's always time for a game - even at Christmas!Frankie and his friends are spending Christmas in Austria with his pen pal Heidi. He is excited to learn how to ski, even if it's not quite the same as playing football. Late on Christmas Eve they discover a lost elf who needs help. Frankie's team will need to use all their skills to get the elf back to his world, and return in time for Christmas!With an exclusive introduction read by Frank.(P) Little, Brown Books for Young Readers 2016
The Elfin Ship (The Balumnia Trilogy #1)
by James P. BlaylockA trilogy sets sail with a novel that&’s &“charming, light-hearted and funny . . . Feels a little like The Hobbit or The Wind in the Willows&” (Fantasy Literature). James P. Blaylock&’s debut novel The Elfin Ship has become a classic of whimsical fantasy. With echoes of Kenneth Graham and Mark Twain, it&’s a gentle, eccentric, and hilarious novel that will delight readers of all ages. Trading with the elves used to be so simple. Every year Master Cheeser Jonathan Bing would send his very best cheeses downriver to traders who would eventually return with Elfin wonders for the people of Twombly Town. But no more . . . First, the trading post at Willowood Station was mysteriously destroyed. Then, a magical elfin airship began making forays overhead. Something was definitely amiss. So Jonathan set off downriver to deliver the cheeses himself, accompanied by the amazing Professor Wurzle, the irrepressible Dooly, and his faithful dog Ahab. It would have been such a pleasant trip, if not for the weeping skeleton, mad goblins, magic coins, an evil dwarf, a cloak of invisibility—and a watch that stopped time. If only the return trip were so simple. &“Madcap&’s not a word heard much these days, but it&’s a great one to apply to the characters and their adventures in The Elfin Ship. From start to finish, Blaylock maintains a high level of inventive goofiness that never lets up. If you want about as great a break as possible from the brutalities and cynicism of much of today&’s fantasy, this book is it.&” —Black Gate
The Elsie Drake Letters (aged 104)
by Robert Popper Elsie DrakeFriday Night Dinner and Timewaster Letters creator Robert Popper's new book of brilliantly funny letters, from Britain's oldest letter writer.'Ridiculous, hilarious and sweet' GREG DAVIES'One of Britain's great comedy minds is at it again' AISLING BEA'I laughed till I cried' DAISY MAY COOPER''I howled with laughter' MATT LUCASAt 104 years of age, Mrs Elsie Drake of Granville Gardens, London, is the sixth oldest woman in Britain. But fed up with sitting in her armchair all day, Elsie is ready for new adventures. And so, armed with a computer she can barely operate, she fires off dozens of letters to everyone from the Prime Minister to Greggs Bakeries, to see if they can help.Whether offering her services as the new Arsenal football mascot dressed as a giant hare, or simply sending Sainsbury's a load of meat, no one can escape the clutches of Elsie Drake.Gloriously funny and ridiculously silly, The Elsie Drake Letters is also a testament to the wonderful kindness and good humour of the British public. Just wait till you read the replies...'Hilarious and heartwarming - this book is a growth hormone for happiness' RICHARD AYOADE'When Robert Popper dies, he should leave his brain to scientists so that they can work out how someone could have written a book so funny.' KATY WIX'Spending time in the company of Elsie Drake is an achingly funny way to restore your faith in humanity' SIMON PEGG
The Elsie Drake Letters (aged 104)
by Robert Popper Elsie DrakeFriday Night Dinner and Timewaster Letters creator Robert Popper's new book of brilliantly funny letters, from Britain's oldest letter writer.'Ridiculous, hilarious and sweet' GREG DAVIES'One of Britain's great comedy minds is at it again' AISLING BEA'I laughed till I cried' DAISY MAY COOPER''I howled with laughter' MATT LUCASAt 104 years of age, Mrs Elsie Drake of Granville Gardens, London, is the sixth oldest woman in Britain. But fed up with sitting in her armchair all day, Elsie is ready for new adventures. And so, armed with a computer she can barely operate, she fires off dozens of letters to everyone from the Prime Minister to Greggs Bakeries, to see if they can help.Whether offering her services as the new Arsenal football mascot dressed as a giant hare, or simply sending Sainsbury's a load of meat, no one can escape the clutches of Elsie Drake.Gloriously funny and ridiculously silly, The Elsie Drake Letters is also a testament to the wonderful kindness and good humour of the British public. Just wait till you read the replies...'Hilarious and heartwarming - this book is a growth hormone for happiness' RICHARD AYOADE'When Robert Popper dies, he should leave his brain to scientists so that they can work out how someone could have written a book so funny.' KATY WIX'Spending time in the company of Elsie Drake is an achingly funny way to restore your faith in humanity' SIMON PEGG
The Eltingville Club
by Evan DorkinTake-no-prisoners trivia-offs. Pill-fueled Twilight Zone marathons. Fan interventions. Here is the ultimate word on the fugly side of fandom, collecting every Eltingville story from the Dork, House of Fun, and The Eltingville Club #1-2, comics three of which won the Eisner Award for Best Short Story. Also features the Northwest Comix Collective alt-comics smackdown and an afterword about the 2002 Adult Swim animated pilot. Definitive, complete and unashamed, this is fandom at it's fan-dumbest, in the mighty Eltingville manner!
The Elusive Doctor
by Abigail GordonPlaying hard to get!Ambitious Nina Lombard did not want to be in the quaint village of Stepping Dearsley! A family crisis had brought her home—and into the clinic of gorgeous G.P. Robert Carslake. Soon Nina realized she had another reason to stay....Rob told himself he had made a mistake in hiring Nina. She was from the city; he was from the country. Poles apart. Underneath it all he knew there was another powerful reason for his resistance—a resistance he was finding increasingly hard to maintain....
The Emerald Emergency: Book 3 (Meet the Maliks – Twin Detectives)
by Zanib MianMeet Maysa and Musa Malik. They might be twins but they are total opposites. And together they make an unstoppable team, especially when trying to solve a mystery!Maysa and Musa are on the case when a priceless emerald ring goes missing during an event at their mosque. But first, Maysa has to cover up one of her lies - which lands her mum in a lot of trouble! Can Maysa save both the ring and her mum's reputation?Infectiously funny, and full of her trademark warmth, Meet the Maliks - Twin Detectives is the brand-new series from Zanib Mian. Perfect for fans of Planet Omar and Tom Gates.
The Emerald Emergency: Book 3 (Meet the Maliks – Twin Detectives)
by Zanib MianMeet Maysa and Musa Malik. They might be twins but they are total opposites. And together they make an unstoppable team, especially when trying to solve a mystery!Maysa and Musa are on the case when a priceless emerald ring goes missing during an event at their mosque. But first, Maysa has to cover up one of her lies - which lands her mum in a lot of trouble! Can Maysa save both the ring and her mum's reputation?Infectiously funny, and full of her trademark warmth, Meet the Maliks - Twin Detectives is the brand-new series from Zanib Mian. Perfect for fans of Planet Omar and Tom Gates.
The Emma Project: A Novel (The Rajes Series #4)
by Sonali DevEmma gets a fresh Indian-American twist from award-winning author Sonali Dev in her heartwarmingly irresistible Jane Austen inspired rom com series.No one can call Vansh Raje’s life anything but charmed. Handsome—Vogue has declared him California’s hottest single—and rich enough to spend all his time on missions to make the world a better place. Add to that a doting family and a contagiously sunny disposition and Vansh has made it halfway through his twenties without ever facing anything to throw him off his admittedly spectacular game.A couple years from turning forty, Knightlina (Naina) Kohli has just gotten out of a ten-year-long fake relationship with Vansh’s brother and wants only one thing from her life…fine, two things. One, to have nothing to do with the unfairly blessed Raje family ever again. Two, to bring economic independence to millions of women in South Asia through her microfinance foundation and prove her father wrong about, well, everything.Just when Naina’s dream is about to come to fruition, Vansh Raje shows up with his misguided Emma Project... And suddenly she’s fighting him for funding and wondering if a friends-with-benefits arrangement that’s as toe-curlingly hot as it is fun is worth risking her life’s work for.
The Emoji-To-English Dictionary
by Adams MediaIf you think you're good at coming up with imaginative emoji combinations, think again! The Emoji-to-English Dictionary challenges you to step up your game with more than 100 phrases that will have you ROFL. This unique guide gives you the lowdown on the most hilarious and unexpected emoji phrases around. Divided by topic, each chapter translates dozens of emoji combinations into plain ol' English, so that you can quickly incorporate them into your messages--and even brainstorm crazy one-liners of your own!Complete with illustrations of each emoji phrase, The Emoji-to-English Dictionary provides you with the tools you need to truly master the world of emojis.
The Emoji-To-English Dictionary: Your Text-Message Translation Guide
by Media AdamsIf you think you're good at coming up with imaginative emoji combinations, think again! The Emoji-to-English Dictionary challenges you to step up your game with more than 100 phrases that will have you ROFL. This unique guide gives you the lowdown on the most hilarious and unexpected emoji phrases around. Divided by topic, each chapter translates dozens of emoji combinations into plain ol' English, so that you can quickly incorporate them into your messages--and even brainstorm crazy one-liners of your own!Complete with illustrations of each emoji phrase, The Emoji-to-English Dictionary provides you with the tools you need to truly master the world of emojis.
The Emotionary: A Dictionary of Words That Don't Exist for Feelings That Do
by Eden SherA dictionary of words that don't exist for feelings that do written by The Middle actress Eden Sher and illustrated by acclaimed graphic novelist Julia Wertz.&“A must-read for bad, good and just plain complicated days.&” —Oprah.com All her life, Eden Sher has suffered from dyscommunicatia (n. the inability to articulate a feeling through words.). Then, one day, she decided that, whenever she had an emotion for which she had no word, she would make one up. The result of this is The Emotionary, which lives at the intersection of incredibly funny and very useful. Chock full of words you always wanted/never knew you needed, often accompanied by illustrations of hilarious and all-too-familiar situations, The Emotionary will be a cherished tool for you or the world-class feelings-haver in your life. At long last, all your complicated feelings can be put into words, so you can recognize them for what they are, speak their names aloud, and move on. Finally!
The Empathy Problem: It's never too late to change your life
by Gavin Extence'You can't put it down . . . precise and propulsive . . . a real page-turner' Janice Forsyth Show, BBC Radio Scotland'It's so good it'll leave you wanting to change your own life' Independent******************So far in his life, Gabriel - selfish, arrogant and happy to be so - has only ever thought about two things: money and himself. When he's diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, he doesn't see why anything should change.But as the tumour grows, something strange starts happening. Whether Gabriel likes it or not, he's becoming . . . nicer. Kinder. A better person. And then he meets Caitlin. Before, he wouldn't even have glanced at her; now he's entranced. But real change takes time - and time is something Gabriel just doesn't have. As each day brings him closer to his last, has the one opportunity for a second chance passed him by?
The Empathy Problem: It's never too late to change your life
by Gavin Extence'You can't put it down . . . precise and propulsive . . . a real page-turner' Janice Forsyth Show, BBC Radio Scotland'It's so good it'll leave you wanting to change your own life' Independent******************So far in his life, Gabriel - selfish, arrogant and happy to be so - has only ever thought about two things: money and himself. When he's diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, he doesn't see why anything should change.But as the tumour grows, something strange starts happening. Whether Gabriel likes it or not, he's becoming . . . nicer. Kinder. A better person. And then he meets Caitlin. Before, he wouldn't even have glanced at her; now he's entranced. But real change takes time - and time is something Gabriel just doesn't have. As each day brings him closer to his last, has the one opportunity for a second chance passed him by?
The Empathy Problem: It's never too late to change your life
by Gavin ExtenceDriven by money, power and success, Gabriel has worked ruthlessly to get to the very top of the banking game. He's not going to let the inconvenience of a terminal brain tumour get in his way. But the tumour has other ideas. As it grows, it appears to be doing strange things to Gabriel's personality. Whether he likes it or not, he seems to be becoming less selfish, less mercenary, less unlikeable. Once he could dismiss the rest of humanity as irrelevant. Now he's not so sure. Women, in particular, are becoming worryingly three-dimensional. And none more so than Caitlin, the 'unremarkable' girl he sees busking on the steps of St Paul's Cathedral. When she plays her violin, Gabriel could almost believe that he has a soul... But as each day that passes brings him closer to his last, has time run out for second chances? Bestselling author Gavin Extence pushes the envelope again with another thought-provoking and funny novel about the surprises, good and bad, that life can throw at us.(P)2016 Hodder & Stoughton
The Emperor Penguin's New Clothes
by Janet PerlmanRead along edition featuring the voice of Bob Olivier. This much-loved Hans Christian Andersen classic is repopulated with a cast of penguins, and the Emperor is the best dressed of them all. When two scoundrels convince him that they can make him a suit of magic cloth, it’s not just the Emperor’s vanity that is showing when he wears it in the grand parade for all to see! Recommended reading ages 4 - 8
The Emperor's Last Stand (Emperor of the Universe #3)
by David LubarThe Emperor's Last Stand is the third and final hilarious intergalactic Emperor of the Universe adventure by David Lubar.“What do you get when you combine a 7th grader, a gerbil, a package of ground beef, and an alien space ship on a chase across the universe? David Lubar’s latest masterpiece, of course!”—Dan Gutman, bestselling author of the My Weird School series, on Emperor of the Universe Nicholas, Jeef, and Henrietta the gerbil face their most existential crisis yet when the universe is attacked by beings from a parallel universe intent on conquering every other parallel universe. If Nicholas fails in his mission to defend the universe, it’ll mean the end of life itself . . .At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
The Emperor's New Clothes: An Interactive Fairy Tale Adventure (You Choose: Fractured Fairy Tales)
by Eric BraunThe celebration is about to start. It's time to see the emperor's new...spacesuit? Join the party and go through three twisted versions of the classic fairy tale. Will YOU CHOOSE the path to your happily ever after?
The Emperor's Old Clothes
by Kathryn LaskyEveryone knows about the emperor's new clothes. But what ever happened to his "old" clothes?
The Emperor's Ostrich
by Julie BerryMagic and mayhem abound in this fantasy adventure from the author of The Scandalous Sisterhood of Prickwillow Place.Young dairymaid Begonia has lost her cow Alfalfa. So she has set off on a search across the countryside even though she has nothing but a magical map to guide her. Along the way she meets a mother and baby, a woodcutter, a very dirty young man, and an eight-foot ostrich. Meanwhile, the emperor has gone missing from the royal palace in a most mysterious manner. Was it murder? Was it magic? It will take all of Begonia's wits to save the empire and get Alfalfa home safely.
The Empress File: Kidd 2 (The\kidd And Luellen Ser. #Bk. 2)
by John SandfordThe ultimate con game thriller from the internationally bestselling master of suspense, John Sandford When the cops of Longstreet, Mississippi see a black boy running away from them and clutching something in his hand, there's only one thought in their minds - bag-snatcher. So they shoot him in the back. Except, Darrell Clark isn't a thief, he's a computer-crazy fourteen-year-old, who was running home before his ice-cream melted. And now he's dead. When the predictable police cover-up begins, Darrell's friend, Marvel Atkins, decides it's time for the corrupt city government to go. Using Darrell's computer, she contacts the only two con artists with the nerve to take on a whole city: Kidd, computer-hacker extraordinaire, and his partner and some-time lover, LuEllen. To pull this off, the sting has to be perfect. And it will be, because if Kidd knows one thing, it's this: a corrupt city regime is about as stable as a house of cards. All he has to know is where to push...***Praise for John Sandford*** &‘One of the great novelists of all time&’ Stephen King &‘A series writer who reads like a breath of fresh air&’ Daily Mirror &‘Delivers twists to the very last sentence&’ Daily Mail &‘Crime writer John Sandford is one of the best around&’ Sun 'John Sandford knows all there is to know about detonating the gut-level shocks of a good thriller' The New York Times Book Review ? 'Sandford is consistently brilliant' Cleveland Plain Dealer &‘Perfect entertainment&’ Kirkus Reviews on Escape Clause
The Empty Ones: A Novel (The Vicious Circuit #2)
by Robert BrockwayFollowing on the heels of Robert Brockway's comedic horror novel The Unnoticeables, The Empty Onesreveals the next chapter in the lives of a few misfits attempting to fight back against the mysterious Unnoticeables.The Empty Ones follows Carey and Randall to London where they go to rescue Gus and fight more of these mysterious angel-like creatures, and stumble on a powerful and unexpected ally. Meanwhile, Kaitlyn, who was very nearly beat when last we saw her, continues her fight into the desert of Mexico and the Southwest US, seeking the mysterious gear cult. Once there, she discovers what the gear cult is really up to: trying to 'pin' the angels to Earth, focus their attention here, and get as much of humanity as possible "solved"--which, in their minds, is akin to being saved--and in the process discovers something incredible about herself. With a snarled lip, The Empty Ones incorporates everything that made The Unnoticeables incredible, but like any good punk band, when you don't think they can get any louder, they somehow turn it up a notch. It's terrifying and hilarious, visceral and insane, chaotic and beautiful.The Vicious Circuit TrilogyThe UnnoticeablesThe Empty OnesKill All Angels At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
The Enchanted April
by Elizabeth Von Arnim Brenda BowenThe charming, slyly comic novel of romantic longing and transformation that inspired the Oscar-nominated film Escaping dreary London for the sunshine of Italy, four very different women take up an offer advertised in the Times for a "small medieval Italian Castle on the shores of the Mediterranean to be let furnished for the month of April." As each blossoms in the warmth of the Italian spring, quite unexpected changes occur.An immediate bestseller upon its first publication, in 1922, The Enchanted April set off a craze for tourism to the Italian Riviera that continues today. Published here to coincide with a contemporary retelling, Enchanted August by Brenda Bowen, it's a witty ensemble piece and the perfect romantic rediscovery for fans of Jess Walter's Beautiful Ruins and Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love as well as of Downton Abbey and the hit movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.For more than sixty-five years, Penguin has been the leading publisher of classic literature in the English-speaking world. With more than 1,500 titles, Penguin Classics represents a global bookshelf of the best works throughout history and across genres and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide authoritative texts enhanced by introductions and notes by distinguished scholars and contemporary authors, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning translators.
The Enchanted Charms: The Seventh Adventure In The Kingdom Of Fantasy (Geronimo Stilton and the Kingdom of Fantasy #7)
by Geronimo StiltonGeronimo's seventh quest in the Kingdom of Fantasy!I, Geronimo Stilton, was so excited to find myself in the Kingdom of Fantasy for a seventh time. Blossom, Queen of the Fairies, needed me to find the seven enchanted charms before the Wizard of the Black Pearl could get to them!Seven guardians across the realm protected each charm. When combined, the charms would bring enormouse power -- which the evil wizard was after. Squeak! Could I survive the dangers of new kingdoms and mysterious creatures to find the charms and save the Kingdom of Fantasy? I was up for the challenge!