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Only When I Laugh: My Autobiography
by Paul MertonKnown for his intelligent and often surreal humour, Paul Merton’s weekly appearances on BBC1’s Have I Got News For You – as well as Radio 4’s Just A Minute and his travel documentaries – have seen him become an artfully rebellious fixture in our lives for over 25 years.He also has a real story to tell. In ONLY WHEN I LAUGH, his rich and beautifully-observed autobiography, Paul takes us on an evocative journey from his working-class Fulham childhood to the present day. Whether writing about school days, his run-ins with the nuns and other pupils; his disastrous first confession; his meatpacking job; taking acid; leaving home to live in bedsit; his early brushes with the opposite sex – and not forgetting his repeated attempts to break into the world of comedy – Paul’s writing is always funny, poignant and revealing. And when his star finally ascends in the atmospherically drawn 1980s alternative cabaret scene there is a sense of excitement, energy, camaraderie, momentum and dramatic impending success……And then CRASH! In an unflinching and brilliantly written section that defines the book, we experience the disorienting and terrifying sustained manic episode that he suffered which landed him in a psychiatric hospital. These, and other tougher moments, are written about candidly and with sensitivity and honesty. Yet throughout ONLY WHEN I LAUGH, Paul Merton succeeds in telling his life story entertainingly, with warmth, humour and a big bucket load of wit. Ultimately uplifting, it is the story of a fascinating life, brilliantly told – and one of the best memoirs of the year.
High Hopes: My Autobiography
by Ronnie CorbettA true great of British comedy, Ronald ‘Ronnie’ Corbett, is hailed as one of the finest comedians of his generation.Son of an Edinburgh baker, Ronnie rose to fame as one half of the infamous Two Ronnies alongside Ronnie Barker. Known for his versatility, quick-wit, family-friendly dialogue, and meandering monologues, Corbett was a staple of British television for more than 50 years. In his autobiography, he tells the complete story, from his school technique of estimating the height of a girl before daring to ask her to dance, to his days as a night club barman in London, and finally, to his decades long career as a stand-up and sitcom star. Including tales of how he first met David Frost, John Cleese and Michael Palin, this book is written with all of Ronnie’s trademark warmth and wit.Celebrating his life and career, this is Ronnie’s own honest and definitive account of his truly dramatic journey.
Just For The Record
by Geri HalliwellIn 2002, Just For The Record was the book that everyone was talking about. Then in 2003, repackaged in a new, compact mass-market format, Just For The Record did it all over again being one of the most read books of the year. Since the break up of the Spice Girls, Geri has continued to intrigue the media and the masses. But how many of the stories are true? Just For The Record reveals all. With particular focus on her personal battle to overcome the eating disorders that have plagued her since childhood, and the stark reality of weight obsession, Geri shares the facts about life after the girl band. This is Geri's story: revealing, frank, brutally honest, and at times shocking.
The Inbetweeners Scriptbook
by Damon Beesley Iain MorrisFollowing on from last year’s huge Sunday Times bestseller, The Inbetweeners Yearbook, comes The Inbetweeners Script Book, the perfect gift for all die-hard Inbetweeners fan and lovers of fine award-winning literature. The book features all eighteen scripts of the televised show, each with its own introduction from the writers and creators, Damon Beesley and Iain Morris, sharing behind the scenes stories about filming, the writing process, and the real events that inspired the show’s storylines.
McFly - Unsaid Things...Our Story
by Tom Fletcher Danny Jones Harry Judd Dougie PoynterThe intimate - and surprising - autobiography of Britain's most adored bandPrepare to meet the real McFly …In 2003, Tom Fletcher, Danny Jones, Harry Judd and Dougie Poynter came together and formed what would become one of the most popular and successful bands in the UK. Just teenagers at the time, they were catapulted into the limelight and had to adapt quickly to their new-found fame – and everything that came with it. Now, at last, they have decided to tell their story, in full and revealing detail.Speaking with candour and their trademark humour, Tom, Danny, Harry and Dougie share both the stories of their own lives and that of McFly. They give their personal insights into their contrasting childhoods, the individual paths that led them to the band, the struggles they have each overcome, their love lives and, of course, their music.Packed with previously untold stories, a lot of laughter and the occasional tear, Unsaid Things offers a privileged look into the lives of four guys who started out as bandmates and became best friends. Their unique camaraderie radiates from every page and by the end of the book, you’ll know them almost as well as they know each other … Tom Fletcher, Danny Jones, Harry Judd and Dougie Poynter have been together as McFly since 2003. They hold the record for being the youngest band to have a debut No 1 album in the UK. Their hits include: 'Five Colours in Her Hair', 'All About You', 'Please, Please' and 'Shine a Light'. They are one of the biggest bands in the UK.
The Great Book of Mobile Talk: You Like Mashed Potato, Don’t you?
by Andrew BarrowOverheard mobile pronouncements are a modern phenomenon. In the street, in the park, in supermarkets, buses, waiting rooms and even, heaven help us, in libraries, it’s quite impossible to get away from these tasty or repellent fragments of other people’s private lives. Wherever you lurk, their outbursts of despair or irritation ring out: mega-tantrums, in-jokes, celebrity spottings, instant post-mortems, office politics, whoops of joy and anger, weather reports, devilishly dull domestic details, parental problems, health issues, holiday plans, money matters, dinner menus, ultimatums, gossip, sporting news, amorous overtures, business deals – and any number of time-wasting pleasantries.From the stunningly mundane to the shockingly direct, the sublime to the ridiculous, here is a brilliantly curated collection of overheard mobile conversational gems.
A Dancer in Wartime: The touching true story of a young girl's journey from the Blitz to the Bright Lights
by Gillian LynneLondon during the Blitz was a time of hardship, heroism and hope.For Gillian Lynne – a budding ballerina – it was also a time of great change as she was evacuated from war-torn London to a crumbling mansion, where dance classes took place in the faded ballroom.Life was hard, but her talent and dedication shone through and an astonishing journey ensued, which saw Gillian dancing a triumphant debut in Swan Lake, performing in the West End with doodlebugs falling and touring a devastated Europe entertaining the troops.A Dancer in Wartime paints a vivid and moving picture of what life was really like during the hard years of the Blitz and brings to life a lost world.
David Jason: My Life
by David JasonWinner of the National Book Awards Autobiography of the YearThe long-awaited autobiography of one of Britain's best-loved actors*As seen in David and Jay’s Touring Toolshed on BBC Two*Born the son of a Billingsgate market porter at the height of the Second World War, David Jason spent his early life dodging bombs and bullies, both with impish good timing. Giving up on an unloved career as an electrician, he turned his attention to acting and soon, through a natural talent for making people laugh, found himself working with the leading lights of British comedy in the 1960s and '70s: Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Bob Monkhouse and Ronnie Barker. Barker would become a mentor to David, leading to hugely successful stints in Porridge and Open All Hours.It wasn't until 1981, kitted out with a sheepskin jacket, a flat cap, and a clapped-out Reliant Regal, that David found the part that would capture the nation's hearts: the beloved Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter in Only Fools and Horses. Never a one-trick pony, he had an award-winning spell as TV's favourite detective Jack Frost, took a country jaunt as Pop Larkin in the Darling Buds of May, and even voiced a crime-fighting cartoon rodent in the much-loved children's show Danger Mouse.But life hasn't all been so easy: from missing out on a key role in Dad's Army to nearly drowning in a freak diving accident, David has had his fair share of ups and downs, and has lost some of his nearest and dearest along the way.David's is a touching, funny and warm-hearted story, which charts the course of his incredible five decades at the top of the entertainment business. He's been a shopkeeper and a detective inspector, a crime-fighter and a market trader, and he ain't finished yet. As Del Boy would say, it's all cushty.
Hello, Darlings!: The Authorized Biography of Kenny Everett
by James Hogg Robert SellersSpontaneous, hilarious, irrepressible and, of course, trailblazing - Kenny Everett was revolutionary in television and radio comedy. Chris Evans, Chris Moyles, Rob Brydon and Steve Wright have all cited Kenny as a huge influence on their work - even the great Spike Milligan called him a genius. It was Kenny who developed the radio show format with which we are so familiar today: a mix of music, jingles, funny voices and sound effects. When he seamlessly made the move to television in the seventies, he created unforgettable characters such as Sid Snot, Cupid Stunt and Marcel Wave.Rarely seen without a smile on his face in public, in reality, Kenny was a deeply insecure man who suffered severe bouts of depression. He also struggled with his sexuality, only coming out to the public in 1985. Diagnosed with HIV in 1987, Kenny died in 1995.This in-depth and affectionate biography has been fully authorised by Kenny's family and contains original interviews with Kenny's sister, Kate and with his former wife, Lee, as well as entertainment figures such as Barry Cryer, Cliff Richard, Chris Tarrant and Paul Gambaccini. Packed with fabulous stories about the highs and lows of Kenny's life, his great friendships with The Beatles and Freddie Mercury, this is a book that any fan of comedy and entertainment must read.
Paul O'Grady's Country Life: Heart-warming and hilarious tales from Paul
by Paul O'GradyTHE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERA fascinating and hilarious glimpse into Paul's life at home in the country with his animalsPaul O'Grady's Country Life for the first time gives a glimpse into the home life of one of Britain’s best loved stars, alongside the animals he adores. Sometimes rural idyll, sometimes hell on earth, Paul’s life in rural Kent has been shared over the years with some very vocal pigs, a mad cow, various rescued barn owls, the world’s most sadistic geese and Christine the psychotic sheep – among many other animal waifs and strays. And of course Paul tells the stories of the dogs in his life – including the tiny chihuahua/Jack Russell cross with Napoleonic ambitions, Eddie, Miss Olga, Bullseye, Louis, Boycie and, of course, Buster, the greatest canine star since Lassie. In addition, Paul shares some of his favourite recipes, explores country lore and superstitions, and extols the benefits of growing your own vegetables, herbs and fruit.This is a warts-and-all account of country living, as far removed from the bright lights of celebrity as you could ever imagine. The trials and tribulations Paul experienced on moving to deepest darkest Kent as a dyed-in-the-wool city dweller are every bit as hilarious and eventful as you would think. He had a lot of new skills to learn, and fast: everything from how to churn your own butter and how to birth a lamb to the best way to lure a cow out of your kitchen while naked from the waist down.Brilliantly funny and full of classic stories, Paul O’Grady’s Country Life is your armchair guide to the wonders and horrors of rural existence._____________________________Readers love Paul O’Grady’s Country Life:***** ‘This book is excellent. It will make you laugh out loud and it will make you cry.’***** ‘Delightful read. An insight into Paul O’Gradys country life, told in his true fashion. Couldn’t put it down!’***** ‘I think he has a gift of compassion for animals as well as people and it always shines through.’
Open the Cage, Murphy!: Hilarious tales of the rise of Lily Savage
by Paul O'GradyTHE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER'With typical razor-sharp wit and candour, Paul tells of his rise to fame as Lily Savage . . . Riveting.' Daily MirrorFrom Britain's most beloved TV star, Open the Cage, Murphy is an action-packed roller-coaster ride through a decade of Paul O'Grady's life, stuffed full to the gunwales with hilarious stories, extreme situations and outrageous one-liners.A must read for any Paul O'Grady fan, Open the Cage, Murphy follows his brilliant comic creation Lily Savage as she embraces success and world domination beckons.From being involved in a plane crash, to getting caught up in the LA riots and a close encounter with Madonna, the stories come thick and fast. Paul takes us with him to a gay-themed weekend in Butlin's in Skegness, on a rowdy tour with Prisoner Cell Block H - the Musical and into the depths of the Australian rainforest, where he befriends a rare bird that can disembowel a man with a single kick. The dramatis personae include a family of dolphins, Charlton Heston and the ghost of Joan of Arc - and there's a starring role for a certain remarkable dog, Buster Elvis Savage.But whether he's writing about star-studded Hollywood parties, the devastating loss of close friends to AIDS, or late night shenanigans at the end of Blackpool Pier, Paul's wit and humanity never desert him.Open the Cage, Murphy is a genuine delight - all the more so for being delightfully genuine.Readers love Open the Cage, Murphy!'I couldn't put it down . . . Paul comes across as a very intelligent man . . . with a heart of gold under that naughty exterior.' *****'This is such a great read, Paul is excellent when describing things makes you feel as though you are there with him. His humour warmth and caring comes out in abundance.' *****'An excellent read. He takes you through the highs and lows of his life, you laugh and cry with him.' *****
That's Me in the Corner: Adventures of an ordinary boy in a celebrity world
by Andrew CollinsFast approaching his fortieth birthday, Andrew is cornered at a family gathering by the nine-year-old son of his brother-in-law's sister. Having seen him as a talking head on TV, the boy asks, 'What are you?' It is a question so frank and simple that Andrew doesn't have an immediate answer to hand.So, with hilarious self-deprecation, he sets out to retrace how he got to where he is today. Seventeen precarious jobs in seventeen years: from trolley collector at Sainsbury's to high-flying film critic sipping cocktails with Will Smith and Jerry Bruckheimer on a yacht in Cannes. This is Andrew's tale of rubbing shoulders with the world's biggest stars: pissing off Christini Ricci, having his hairstyle mocked by Noel Gallagher, trying not to wake Clive James from his afternoon nap, having his apple pie eaten by Bob Geldof, and somehow stumbling into the next dream job.Along the way, he's been the world's worst gossip columnist, an almost-hip young gunslinger at the NME, a Radio 1 DJ (enduring a hellish Radio 1 roadshow in a car park in Birmingham), an ITV presenter, EastEnders scriptwriter, ghost writer for a major TV personality and much, much more. It charts a world of hedonism, mundanity, towering egos, shallow idiocy and occasional moments of mind-blowing joy. And, of course, being sent shit in a box.
Fork Handles: The Bery Vest of Ronnie Barker
by Ronnie BarkerWith a foreword by Ronnie Corbett.Loved by millions and collected here for the first time is the very best of Ronnie Barker’s classic sketches, monologues, songs and, of course, the brilliant two-handers that he wrote for The Two Ronnies. Celebrating his genius for comic wordplay, this wonderful collection includes ‘Pismonouncers Unanimous’, ‘An Appeal for Women’ ‘Swedish for Beginners’ and the nation’s favourite sketch, ‘Fork Handles’.As talented a writer as he was performer, Ronnie Barker was behind the best known Two Ronnies’ material. His comedy writing was so prolific that he began using the pseudonym Gerald Wiley while working on Frost on Sunday, which he continued when making The Two Ronnies, so eager was he to ensure that his writing was judged on its merit alone. Showcasing the work of a true comic icon, and one of the best writers and comedians of the twentieth century, Fork Handles is every bit as warm and funny as Ronnie Barker himself.
A Few Well-Frozen Worms
by Ronnie BarkerWith a fondness for spoonerisms and double entendres, Ronnie Barker is one of the nation’s greatest comics. Gathered together in this second ‘best of’ volume is a cocktail of his sketches and monologues from every strand of his long and brilliant career.
All I Ever Wrote: The Complete Works
by Ronnie BarkerRonnie Barker has long been known as one of Britain’s greatest comedy performers. But he was also responsible for writing much of the material he performed, often hiding the fact from the public by using a number of pen names. Showcasing the complete work of a true comic icon, All I Ever Wrote is a laugh-out-loud collection of sketches, monologues, songs, poems and scripts from every strand of Ronnie’s long and brilliant career. With gems like ‘Fork Handle’s,’ Three Classes’ and ‘Pismonouncers Unanimous', Ronnie’s clever writing, double entendres and spoonerisms will bring a smile to your face, as you rediscover some of the twentieth century’s finest comedy moments.
You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
by Simon Napier-BellYou probably know Simon Napier-Bell as the manager of the Yardbirds. Or you may know him as the man who managed Marc Bolan, or Japan. You should definitely know him as the man who managed Wham! And if none of these rings a bell, maybe you'll remember him as the man who co-wrote 'You Don't Have To Say You Love Me' for Dusty Springfield. You Don't Have To Say You Love Me is one of the funniest books you will read and equally provoking. From his revelation that the entire music industry was motivated by sex, to an embarrassing come-on from a suicidal Brian Epstein, it's all shocking stuff. But when you're on the run from the German police with Marc Bolan, brothel-hopping with Keith Moon and generally living the life of Riley at the music industry's expense, it would be a shame not to share those amazing experiences with the rest of the world, wouldn't it? Of all the great pop-music books written, it is worth savouring You Don't Have To Say You Love Me for its brilliant sideways insight into one of the most exciting cultural periods Britain has ever seen.
JLS: Forever and a Day
by JLSSince forming in 2007, JLS have achieved everything they'd hoped for and more. From four smash-hit albums and five number one singles, to BRIT and MOBO awards and sell-out tours, Oritsé, Marvin, JB, and Aston have proved themselves as one of Britain's biggest boybands ever. But all good things come to an end and in this, their last ever official book together, the boys share their favourite memories with the people they love most: their fans.Inside, they reflect on everything they've experienced in the last six years, as a band and in their own personal lives, while sharing exclusive photos and the secrets they've kept. Find out how they feel about juggling family and finding love with life on the road and recording in the studio; how special it feels to step out on stage in front of thousands of fans and why choosing to part from the best friends they could have ever found was the hardest decision of all.The highs, the lows; the good times and bad, this is JLS like you've never seen them before. Older, wiser and hotter than ever, this is their final farewell and a treasured keepsake for years to come.
The Bell Family
by Noel StreatfeildIf you love Noel Streatfeild’s Ballet Shoes, you’ll adore The Bell Family.'Well, little people, what's the news?’Meet the big, happy Bell family who live in the vicarage at St Marks.Father is a reverend; Mother is as kind as kind can be. Then there's all the children – practical Paul, dancing Jane, mischievous Ginnie, and finally the baby of the family, Angus, whose ambition is to own a private zoo (he has already begun with his six boxes of caterpillars). And not forgetting Esau, a surefire competitor for the most beautiful dog in Britain.Follow their eventful lives from tense auditions to birthday treats; from troubled times to hilarious escapades. The perfect Christmas gift for ballet-loving children.Includes exclusive material: In the Backstory you can find out which one of the Bell children you most resemble!
Easily Distracted
by Steve CooganSteve Coogan was born and raised in Manchester in the 1960s, the fourth of six children. From an early age he entertained his family with impressions and was often told he should 'be on the telly'. Failing to get into any of the London-based drama schools, he accepted a place at Manchester Polytechnic School of Theatre and before graduating had been given his first break as a voice artist on the satirical puppet show Spitting Image. The late eighties and early nineties saw Coogan developing characters he could perform on the comedy circuit, from Ernest Moss to Paul Calf, and in 1992 he won a Perrier award with John Thomson. It was around the same time, while working with Armando Iannucci and Patrick Marber on On The Hour and The Day Today, that Alan Partridge emerged, almost fully formed. Coogan, once a tabloid fixture, is now a respected film actor, writer and producer. He runs his own production company, Baby Cow, has a raft of films to his name (from 24 Hour Party People to Alpha Papa, the critically-acclaimed Partridge film), six Baftas and seven Comedy Awards. He has found huge success in recent years with both The Trip and Philomena, the latter bringing him two Oscar nominations, for producing and co-writing.In Easily Distracted he lifts the lid on the real Steve Coogan, writing with distinctive humour and an unexpected candour about a noisy childhood surrounded by foster kids, his attention-seeking teenage years and his emergence as a household name with the birth of Alan Partridge.
One Hundred Lengths of the Pool
by Julia RobertsJulia Roberts was one of the first two faces to appear on QVC The Shopping Channel in 1993, and her warmth and honesty have encouraged millions to shop from the comfort of their own homes ever since. She was not, however, a stranger to television, having previously appeared in Beadle's About, The Price is Right and numerous advertisements, including the Woolwich Building Society where she famously asked, 'Can I help you?'None of this would have come about id she hadn't survived the killer disease polio in the 1950s. Not only did she survive but, against all the odds and the advice of her careers teacher at school, she became a professional dancer. That was the start of a long and varied career in the entertainment industry, unless you count appearing on the front cover of a cookery book at the age of ten. She has worked as a DJ, a singer, and actress and, for the last 24 years, a presenter; and it's all in her book One Hundred Lengths of the Pool.Each of the hundred lengths is associated with special moments from her life - some professional, some personal, some happy and some sad. However, there is an extra length of the pool that she didn't expect to swim and it has changed her life completely, testing her belief in her favourite saying, 'That which does not kill us, makes us stronger...'
A Book for Her
by Bridget ChristieBridget Christie is a stand-up comedian, idiot and feminist. On the 30th of April 2012, a man farted in the Women’s Studies Section of a bookshop and it changed her life forever. A Book For Her details Christie’s twelve years of anonymous toil in the bowels of stand-up comedy and the sudden epiphany that made her, unbelievably, one of the most critically acclaimed British stand-up comedians this decade, drawing together the threads that link a smelly smell in the women’s studies section to the global feminist struggle. Find out how nice Peter Stringfellow’s fish tastes, how yoghurt advertising perpetuates rape myths, and how Emily Bronte used a special ladies’ pen to write Wuthering Heights.If you’re interested in comedy and feminism, then this is definitely the book for you. If you hate both then I’d probably give it a miss. “Christie is adept at turning on a sixpence between being comical, or serious, or both at once, and at pricking her own earnestness.” Telegraph‘Christie piles derision and tomfoolery upon everyday sexism, while never pretending that jokes alone will solve the problem.’ Guardian
Shirley
by Muriel BurgessShirley Bassey is one of the all-time greats of the entertainment business. She has sold more records than any other British female singer and still commands massive audiences around the world. Now, after a career spanning decades, her life story can be told: the story of a triumph over enough tragedies to last several lifetimes. The personal hardships that have fuelled the emotionalism of her songs have never before been revealed. Here her poverty-stricken childhood in Wales is detailed: how her mother struggled to bring up seven children on Income Support after their Nigerian father was deported; how she worked in a saucepan factory when her first struggles for stardom were halted by her pregnancy at sixteen. Shirley had a series of tortured loves: she married a homosexual Cockney who died of an overdose; she had a highly publicised affair with actor Peter Finch; and her second marriage, to an Italian, also failed. The shocking death of her second daughter, Samantha, just before her 21st birthday caused Shirley to lose her voice for nearly a year. Behind the showbiz glamour and consummate professionalism lies a fiercely resilient and independent woman.
Diamond (Hetty Feather #4)
by Jacqueline WilsonDiamond wasn't always a star. Born to penniless parents who longed for a strong, healthy son, she was a dainty, delicate daughter - and a bitter disappointment.Discovering an extraordinary gift for acrobatics, Diamond uses her talent to earn a few pennies, but brings shame on her family. When a mysterious, cruel-eyed stranger spots her performing, Diamond is sold - and is taken to become an acrobat at Tanglefield's Travelling Circus.The crowds adore Diamond, but life behind the velvet curtains is far from glamorous. Her wicked master forces Diamond to attempt ever more daring tricks, until she is terrified to step into the ring. But there are true friends to be found, too: the gentle Mister Marvel; the kindly Madame Adeline; and the glorious Emerald Star, Tanglefield's brand-new ringmaster, and Diamond's heroine.When life at the circus becomes too dangerous to bear any longer, what will the future hold for Diamond? And will her beloved Emerald be a part of it?Enter the amazing world of Hetty Feather and follow her adventures throughout the series:1. Hetty Feather2. Sapphire Battersea3. Emerald Star4. Diamond
Knits for Nerds: 30 Projects
by Toni CarrPatterns for Uhura’s dress, Hobbit slippers, a Summer Queen shawl, and other projects for crafty geeks . . . The best of science fiction, manga, and animaguiri meets knit one, purl two as knit siren and part-time roller derby girl Joan of Dark offers up an out-of-this-world assortment of knitting nerdiness. The patterns for thirty iconic clothing and accessory items inspired by popular TV shows, books, films, comics, and more—including Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Firefly—are presented alongside full-color photos showcasing completed projects, such as:* Lieutenant Uhura’s sexy Star Trek minidress* Hobbit feet slippers * Firefly-inspired scarf, socks, hat, and jacket* Tank Girl socks* Hermione Granger’s secret beaded bag* Manga-inspired leg warmers* The Big Bang Theory-inspired his and hers sweater-vests* Lord of the Rings-inspired shrugIn addition to a wardrobe of costume finery, hobbyists will also find instructions for practical projects such as an e-reader cover or a laptop bag crafted of checkered fabric that serves double-duty as a chessboard and carryall, as well as patterns for plush toys inspired by Star Trek, robots, and the comic book Squee! Wear your nerdiness on your sleeve with Knits for Nerds.