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How to Survive Death and Other Inconveniences (American Lives)
by Sue William SilvermanMany are haunted and obsessed by their own eventual deaths, but perhaps no one as much as Sue William Silverman. This thematically linked collection of essays charts Silverman&’s attempt to confront her fears of that ultimate unknown. Her dread was fomented in part by a sexual assault, hidden for years, that led to an awareness that death and sex are in some ways inextricable, an everyday reality many women know too well. Through gallows humor, vivid realism, and fantastical speculation, How to Survive Death and Other Inconveniences explores this fear of death and the author&’s desire to survive it. From cruising New Jersey&’s industry-blighted landscape in a gold Plymouth to visiting the emergency room for maladies both real and imagined to suffering the stifling strictness of an intractable piano teacher, Silverman guards her memories for the same reason she resurrects archaic words—to use as talismans to ward off the inevitable. Ultimately, Silverman knows there is no way to survive death physically. Still, through language, commemoration, and metaphor, she searches for a sliver of transcendent immortality.
How to Survive Divorce: Tongue-in-Cheek Advice and Cheeky Illustrations about Separating from Your Partner
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsFreedom at last!The world of singledom, independence and wild abandon beckons! But if you’re going to last out there on your own you’ll need survival skills:Prepare yourself for: The heady joy of having the whole bed to yourself.Reassure yourself: If your marriage lasted more than 24 hours, you can tell yourself you made a decent go of it.This mischievous little book will help to see you through your divorce with tongue-in-cheek advice and hilarious illustrations.
How to Survive Family Holidays
by Jack Whitehall Michael Whitehall Hilary WhitehallOne part Lonely Planet, one part tell-all family memoir, this is the definitive and hilarious guide on how to survive your family holiday, by Jack Whitehall, with a little bit of help from Michael and Hilary Whitehall.No one family has more experience of travelling together than the Whitehalls. Indeed they've been allowing us a window to their escapades for the past five years in the hit Netflix show 'Travels with my Father' and in this hilarious book they have now decided to pool their advice for fellow travellers. To lay out the pitfalls of family holidays. The dos and don'ts, the highs and lows. In doing so they are sharing some of their best anecdotes. Their most extreme experiences and their most valuable advice. It is part memoir of family life, part travel guide, and full on, laugh-out-loud funny.Whatever your version of holiday preparation the truth is always this: if it is with one's own family, no amount of sunshine, wine or holiday spirit will stop your worst character traits coming to the surface. You have just volunteered to spend a week in close proximity with the people who know you best and who will never ever let you forget a f***-up. No one survives unscathed. Things are always going to end in tears, you can only hope they're of laughter.
How to Survive Family Holidays
by Jack Whitehall Michael Whitehall Hilary WhitehallOne part Lonely Planet, one part tell-all family memoir, this is the definitive and hilarious guide on how to survive your family holiday, by Jack Whitehall, with a little bit of help from Michael and Hilary Whitehall.No one family has more experience of travelling together than the Whitehalls. Indeed they've been allowing us a window to their escapades for the past five years in the hit Netflix show 'Travels with my Father' and in this hilarious book they have now decided to pool their advice for fellow travellers. To lay out the pitfalls of family holidays. The dos and don'ts, the highs and lows. In doing so they are sharing some of their best anecdotes. Their most extreme experiences and their most valuable advice. It is part memoir of family life, part travel guide, and full on, laugh-out-loud funny.Whatever your version of holiday preparation the truth is always this: if it is with one's own family, no amount of sunshine, wine or holiday spirit will stop your worst character traits coming to the surface. You have just volunteered to spend a week in close proximity with the people who know you best and who will never ever let you forget a f***-up. No one survives unscathed. Things are always going to end in tears, you can only hope they're of laughter.
How to Survive Family Holidays: The hilarious Sunday Times bestseller from the stars of Travels with my Father
by Jack Whitehall Michael Whitehall Hilary WhitehallRead by Jack, Michael and Hilary Whitehall, this audiobook includes exclusive material not available in the book, plus a hilarious blooper reel at the end. One part Lonely Planet, one part tell-all family memoir, this is the definitive and hilarious guide on how to survive your family holiday, by Jack Whitehall, with a little bit of help from Michael and Hilary Whitehall.No one family has more experience of travelling together than the Whitehalls. Indeed they've been allowing us a window to their escapades for the past five years in the hit Netflix show 'Travels with my Father' and in this hilarious book they have now decided to pool their advice for fellow travellers. To lay out the pitfalls of family holidays. The dos and don'ts, the highs and lows. In doing so they are sharing some of their best anecdotes. Their most extreme experiences and their most valuable advice. It is part memoir of family life, part travel guide, and full on, laugh-out-loud funny.Whatever your version of holiday preparation the truth is always this: if it is with one's own family, no amount of sunshine, wine or holiday spirit will stop your worst character traits coming to the surface. You have just volunteered to spend a week in close proximity with the people who know you best and who will never ever let you forget a f***-up. No one survives unscathed. Things are always going to end in tears, you can only hope they're of laughter.
How to Survive The Future (How to Survive #3)
by Larry HayesGet ready for a hilarious out-of-this-world adventure for readers aged 8+ – this is the perfect new series for fans of Tom Gates, Andy Griffiths and Star Wars! Illustrated throughout by the brilliantly funny Katie Abey. *PRE-ORDER NOW!* It&’s the year 2525, and things aren&’t looking great for Planet Earth. An endless night is coming – a super-advanced alien spaceship has stopped the world from turning, threatening the existence of every creature on the planet – and it turns out that ten-year-old Eliza Lemon is the only one who can save them! Will she be able to handle alien overlords, a doughnut-shaped spaceship, monkeys and vampire finches? And, most importantly of all, will she be able to rescue her baby brother, save the world and survive THE FUTURE?For more out-of-this-world fun don't forget to read about Eliza and Johnnie's first two adventures in How to Survive Without Grown-Ups and How to Survive Time Travel. Out now!
How to Survive History: How to Outrun a Tyrannosaurus, Escape Pompeii, Get Off the Titanic, and Survive the Rest of History's Deadliest Catastrophes
by Cody CassidyA detailed guide to surviving history&’s most challenging threats, from outrunning dinosaurs to making it off the Titanic aliveHistory is the most dangerous place on earth. From dinosaurs the size of locomotives to meteors big enough to sterilize the planet, from famines to pandemics, from tornadoes to the Chicxulub asteroid, the odds of human survival are slim but not zero—at least, not if you know where to go and what to do.In each chapter of How to Survive History, Cody Cassidy explores how to survive one of history&’s greatest threats: getting eaten by dinosaurs, being destroyed by the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs, succumbing to the lava flows of Pompeii, being devoured by the Donner Party, drowning during the sinking of the Titanic, falling prey to the Black Death, and more. Using hindsight and modern science to estimate everything from how fast you&’d need to run to outpace a T. rex to the advantages of different body types in surviving the Donner Party tragedy, Cassidy gives you a detailed battle plan for survival, helping you learn about the era at the same time.History may be the most dangerous place on earth, but that doesn&’t mean you can&’t visit. You can, and you should. And with a copy of How to Survive History in your back pocket, you just might make it out alive.
How to Survive Middle School and Monster Bots (A Howard Boward Book)
by Ron BatesSometimes, being smart just isn’t enough It’s been a rough semester for Howard Boward, science genius. Not only is he having to dodge winter’s most feared weapon (snowballs), his close friend, Winnie McKinney, is barely speaking to him. If that weren’t enough, he’s the favorite target of some bullies who seem determined to make life at Dolley Madison Middle School as miserable as possible. But then Howard learns about an upcoming robot-building contest—finally a chance to show off his science skills and beat archrival Gerald “G-Force” Forster! Unfortunately, the only way to win is by using his secret “monster goo,” a formula that has terrifying side effects. Can Howard resist the temptation? Or will he unleash a robot rampage that could destroy the town—and ruin the school dance?
How to Survive Old Age: Tongue-In-Cheek Advice and Cheeky Illustrations about Getting Older
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsBe yourself and wear your wrinkles proudly with the help of this humorous collection of observations and illustrations on how to survive old age. For years, you wanted to be treated like a proper adult, but now you’re on a downhill slippery slope to a grand old age and you can’t seem to find the brakes. You need expert survival advice, such as: Don’t call anyone under 40 “young man” or “young lady”.Do remember where your glasses, keys and wallet are to avoid raised eyebrows from family members.Don’t wear a tartan rug over your knees on a car journey.Do make an effort to learn all the songs in the top ten. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your latter years without worrying about what anyone else thinks. After all, the best things in life are old: vintage wine, golden oldies – you’re now part of an elite club. Enjoy!
How to Survive Retirement
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsFreedom at last! But there’s an awfully long time between cornflakes and cocoa, and a limit to how many sudokus you can do. You need survival skills: FINANCIAL WIZARDRY: how to get three cups of tea out of one bag. SPARKLING CONVERSATION: 300 different ways to discuss the weather. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your golden years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
How to Survive Retirement
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsFreedom at last! But there’s an awfully long time between cornflakes and cocoa, and a limit to how many sudokus you can do. You need survival skills: FINANCIAL WIZARDRY: how to get three cups of tea out of one bag. SPARKLING CONVERSATION: 300 different ways to discuss the weather. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your golden years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
How to Survive the End of the World (When it's in Your Own Head): An Anxiety Survival Guide
by Aaron Gillies'A brilliant and funny read for the apocalyptically-minded' Matt Haig, author of Reasons to Stay Alive'In a sea of books about mental health, it stands out for its humour, wisdom and lightness of touch' Adam Kay, author of This is Going to Hurt'Just the laugh you need for when everything seems terrible' Evening StandardThere are plenty of books out there on how to survive a zombie apocalypse, all-out nuclear war, or Armageddon. But what happens when it feels like the world is ending every single time you wake up? That's what having anxiety is like - and How to Survive the End of the World is here to help. Or at least make you feel like you're not so alone.From helping readers identify the enemy, to safeguarding the vulnerable areas of their lives, Aaron Gillies examines the impact of anxiety, and gives readers some tools to fight back - whether with medication, therapy, CBT, coping techniques or simply with a dark sense of humour.And now more than ever, it's vital to take care of your mental health. How to Survive is full of funny, sweary, actually helpful tips on how to cope during self-isolation, from moving around and keeping your brain box busy to eating a green thing once in a while. These are anxious and uncertain times, but How to Survive the End of the World is here to help you give yourself a break. You deserve it. 'Fast-paced, amusing and insightful' Guardian'I LOVED it' Juno Dawson, author of The Gender Games'Hilarious and deeply insightful' Dean Burnett, author of The Idiot Brain
How to Survive the End of the World (When it's in Your Own Head): An Anxiety Survival Guide
by Aaron Gillies'A brilliant and funny read for the apocalyptically-minded' Matt Haig, author of Reasons to Stay Alive'In a sea of books about mental health, it stands out for its humour, wisdom and lightness of touch' Adam Kay, author of This is Going to Hurt'Just the laugh you need for when everything seems terrible' Evening StandardThere are plenty of books out there on how to survive a zombie apocalypse, all-out nuclear war, or Armageddon. But what happens when it feels like the world is ending every single time you wake up? That's what having anxiety is like - and How to Survive the End of the World is here to help. Or at least make you feel like you're not so alone.From helping readers identify the enemy, to safeguarding the vulnerable areas of their lives, Aaron Gillies examines the impact of anxiety, and gives readers some tools to fight back - whether with medication, therapy, CBT, coping techniques or simply with a dark sense of humour.'Fast-paced, amusing and insightful' Guardian'I LOVED it' Juno Dawson, author of The Gender Games'Hilarious and deeply insightful' Dean Burnett, author of The Idiot Brain(P)2018 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
How to Survive Time Travel (How to Survive #2)
by Larry HayesLift off in the hilarious edge-of-your-seat adventure series that is a home alone story with a difference! Written by the inimitable Larry Hayes and hilariously illustrated by Katie Abey, this is the perfect read for fans of David Solomons, Tom Gates and Back to the Future! Fresh from saving their parents from the jaws of frenzied billionaire Mr Noah, ten-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, are called upon once again. Their parents have disappeared into thin air and it&’s up to the kids to save the day, travelling back in time to 5000 BC Egypt! Can they overcome friendly locals, a mysterious boy-god, snakes, a rainbow-coloured Sphinx and another plot to end the world? And – most importantly of all – will they survive TIME TRAVEL? For more out-of-this-world adventure don't forget to read about Eliza and Johnnie's first adventure in How to Survive Without Grown-Ups. Out now!
How to Survive University
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsAt last, no more parents! But who’s going to do your washing, and bail you out when you’re short of cash? Hmm, you’re going to need survival skills. This mischievous little book will help you see through your university years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
How to Survive University
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsAt last, no more parents! But who’s going to do your washing, and bail you out when you’re short of cash? Hmm, you’re going to need survival skills. This mischievous little book will help you see through your university years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
How to Survive Without Grown-Ups (How to Survive #1)
by Larry HayesGet set for the new hilarious out-of-this-world adventure series for readers aged 8+ – this is the perfect new series for fans of Tom Gates, David Solomons and Star Wars! Highly illustrated throughout by the brilliantly funny Katie Abey. Mum and Dad have left – gone to Mars, and they&’re never coming back . . . FREEDOM AT LAST! But this isn&’t one of Dad&’s weird jokes; it&’s REAL. It&’s up to ten-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what&’s going on, and launch a rescue . . . Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And – more importantly – will they ever get their parents back? The funniest, zaniest, most out-of-this-world adventure you&’ll read all year!
How to Swear: An Illustrated Guide
by Stephen WildishEven the most profane practitioner of the vulgar tongue must sometimes wonder, "Am I doing it right?" This highly entertaining and crucially informative visual guide to the art of swearing employs a variety of quick-read charts and helpful strategies to take salty skills to the next level. Offering history and etymology along with guidance, quips, insults, answers to lingering questions, and much more, How to Swear celebrates the rude ingenuity of using a naughty word to express surprise, excitement, anger, joy, or disgust, limited only by the imagination. It's inspiring. It's educational. It's dirty. It's here to change lives or, at the very least, add some f*#&ing color to the conversation.
How to Swear Around the World
by Jason SacherWith this helpful guide, learn to tell people off like a native no matter where you are in the world.An essential phrasebook for the world traveler, How to Swear Around the World features dozens of favorite curses, insults, and sayings from all over the globe. Get rid of a pesky hanger-on in Brazil by telling him to dig for potatoes—vai ceifar batatas. To express disgust toward your brown-nosing German friend, accuse him of being a bicycle-rider—radfahrer, or tell someone off in Laos by letting him know you think his mother enjoys keeping intimate company with dogs—Ma see mea mung! Make new friends and enemies abroad with this handy guide filled with fighting words, scatological expressions, dozens of ways to insult someone’s mother, and many other suitably offensive phrases.Also features phonetic pronunciations and handy illustrations to provide guidance to these colorful exclamations.“As useful as it is hilarious, Sacher’s How to Swear Around the World teaches readers all kinds of vulgar phrases in dozens of different languages. Feel free to call Expedia and curse out their airfare prices using any of the book’s quotes.” —Complex.com
How to Take Over the World: Practical Schemes and Scientific Solutions for the Aspiring Supervillain
by Ryan North&“Comic book fans will fall hard for this delightfully daffy guidebook. . . . Exuberant, optimistic, and just plain fun, How to Take Over the World will both surprise and delight.&” —EsquireA book this informative should be a crime!Taking over the world is a lot of work. Any supervillain is bound to have questions: What&’s the perfect location for a floating secret base? What zany heist will fund my wildly ambitious plans? How do I control the weather, destroy the internet, and never, ever die? Bestselling author and award-winning comics writer Ryan North has the answers. In this introduction to the science of comic-book supervillainy, he details a number of outlandish villainous schemes that harness the potential of today&’s most advanced technologies. Picking up where How to Invent Everything left off, his explanations are as fun and elucidating as they are completely absurd. You don&’t have to be a criminal mastermind to share a supervillain&’s interest in cutting-edge science and technology. This book doesn&’t just reveal how to take over the world—it also shows how you could save it. This sly guide to some of the greatest threats facing humanity accessibly explores emerging techniques to extend human life spans, combat cyberterrorism, communicate across millennia, and finally make Jurassic Park a reality.
How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-Boyfriend
by Janette RallisonBoyfriends are supposed to be loyal, caring, and handsome. Giovanna's boyfriend, Jesse, has perfected the last two. But when her twin brother, Dante, runs for student body president, Jesse doesn't support Dante, choosing to campaign for his opponent instead. Shouldn't the fact that Jesse is Giovanna's boyfriend count for something? So Giovanna dumps Jesse and becomes Dante's campaign manager. But as the political debates heat up, Giovanna begins to regret breaking up with Jesse, and realizes that maybe her decision wasn't the political strategy she should have used. . . .
How to Take Your Time: from How Proust Can Change Your Life
by Alain De BottonCuriously practical—this no-nonsense blend of literary biography and self-help unravels how interesting life can be if only you could resist the impulse to rush through the mundane rituals of modern life. Every morning, Marcel Proust sipped his two cups of strong coffee with milk, ate a croissant from one boulangerie, dunking it in his coffee as he slowly read the day’s paper with great care—poring over each headline and section. Only Alain de Botton could have pulled so many useful insights from the oeuvre of one the world’s greatest literary masters. Fascinating and vital, How to Take Your Time will urge you to find the wisdom in defying “the self-satisfaction felt by ‘busy’ men—however idiotic their business—at ‘not having time’ to do what you are doing.” A Vintage Shorts Wellness selection. An ebook short.
How to Talk Dirty and Influence People: An Autobiography
by Lenny Bruce Lewis Black Howard ReichDuring the course of a career that began in the late 1940s, Lenny Bruce challenged the sanctity of organized religion and other societal and political conventions and widened the boundaries of free speech. Critic Ralph Gleason said, "So many taboos have been lifted and so many comics have rushed through the doors Lenny opened. He utterly changed the world of comedy.” He died in 1966 at the age of 40. His influence on the worlds of comedy, jazz, and satire is incalculable, and How to Talk Dirty and Influence People--now republished to coincide with the 50th anniversary of Lenny Bruce's death--remains a brilliant existential account of his life and the forces that made him the most important and controversial entertainer in history.
How to Talk Minnesotan: Revised for the 21st Century
by Howard MohrA revised edition of the hilarious Minnesotan culture guide from a former writer for A Prairie Home Companion Fans of the Minnesota-set movie Fargo will love this uproarious culture guide to all-things Minnesotan. With his dry wit and distinctive voice, Howard Mohr won millions of fans across the country on Garrison Keillor’s radio show A Prairie Home Companion. His popular commercials and ad spots, including one for “Minnesota Language Systems,” became the best of the best of Minnesota humor. Now, Mohr has updated his classic guide, How to Talk Minnesotan, to advise visitors on the use of Twitter and Facebook, cell phone etiquette, and more while in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. .
How to Talk to a Widower: A Novel
by Jonathan Tropper"Beautifully crafted", "Fantastically funny." "Compulsively readable." Jonathan Tropper has earned wild acclaim---and comparisons to Nick Hornby and Tom Perrotta--for his biting humor and insightful portrayals of families in crisis and men behaving badly. Now the acclaimed author of The Book of Joe and Everything Changes tackles love, lust, and lost in the suburbs--in a stunning novel that is by turns heartfelt and riotously funny.Doug Parker is a widower at age twenty-nine, and in his quiet suburban town, that makes him something of a celebrity--the object of sympathy, curiosity, and, in some cases, unbridled desire. But Doug has other things on his mind. First there's his sixteen year-old stepson, Russ: a once-sweet kid who now is getting into increasingly serious trouble on a daily basis. Then there are Doug's sisters: his bossy twin, Clair, who's just left he husband and moved in with Doug, determined to rouse him from his Grieving stupor. And Debbie, who's engaged to Doug's ex-best friend and manically determined to pull off the perfect wedding at any cost.Soon Doug's entire nuclear family is in his face. And when he starts dipping his toes into the shark-infested waters of the second-time around dating scene, it isn't long before his new life is spinning hopelessly out of control, cutting a harrowing and often hilarious swath of sexual missteps and escalating chaos across the suburban landscape.From the Hardcover edition.