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Kids' Letters to President Obama
by Bill Adler Jr.A charming non-partisan collection of more than 200 letters highlighting children's thoughts and perspectives on the historic victory of President Barack Obama and what lies ahead.
Kids Pick The Funniest Poems: Poems That Make Kids Laugh (Giggle Poetry)
by Bruce Lansky Stephen CarpenterBetcha laugh!This is one of the most popular collections of funny poetry for kids ever published. It's a classic because it's the first collection of poems selected by kids! It includes clever creations from some of the most popular names in children's poetry, including Bill Dodds, Timothy Tocher, Joyce Armor, Robert Pottle, Bruce Lansky, and Kenn Nesbitt. Humorous illustrations by Stephen Carpenter make this book even better.
The Kids' Survival Guide: Avoiding "When I was young..." and Other Brain-Exploding Lectures
by Susan BerranKids will laugh out loud with the must have kids guide to getting away with stuff. You get home from school and before your bag even hits the floor.
The Kids Who Knew Too Little: Book 3 (The League of Unexceptional Children #3)
by Gitty DaneshvariHilarious spy adventure for readers aged 8 and up. You think spies are clever and cool and mysterious? Think again . . .Shelley and Jonathan are members of the League of Unexceptional Children - the world's least impressive spy network.Jonathan's parents have been arrested by the CIA, and the dangerous mission to liberate them is definitely beyond his and Shelley's utterly average skill set. Can they accidentally save the day one last time? This final book in Gitty Daneshvari's funny series gives readers more of the spy tricks and adventure they love, but can also stand alone as a complete mystery.
Kill All Angels: The Vicious Circuit, Book Three (The Vicious Circuit #3)
by Robert BrockwayThe concluding volume in the humorous punk rock adventure that began with The Unnoticeablesand The Empty Ones. After the events of the first two books of the Vicious Circuit series, Carey and Randall reached LA during the early '80s punk scene, which was heavily mixed up with Chinatown. A young Chinese girl with silver hair is the Empty One that seems to run things there, and her ex-lover, an Empty One named Zang, has apparently turned against them and may or may not be on Carey's side. In modern times, Kaitlyn and company have also returned to LA because her powers have been growing and she has been having visions that may be telling her how to kill all of the angels. The downside being that they have to find a new one, first--and LA is the only place they know where to do that. Steeped in the LA punk scene in the '80s, Chinatown, sunken suburbs, the ocean and gargantuan things that swim in it, Kill All Angels is everything that fans of Robert Brockway's irreverent humor have been looking for to end the series with a bang.The Vicious Circuit TrilogyThe UnnoticeablesThe Empty OnesKill All Angels At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Kill Baxter (Apocalypse Now Now #2)
by Charlie HumanThe world been massively unappreciative of sixteen-year-old Baxter Zevcenko’s efforts. His bloodline may be a combination of ancient Boer mystic and giant shape-shifting crow, and he may have won an inter-dimensional battle and saved the world, but does the world care? No.Instead he’s packed off to Hexpoort, a magical training school for MK6 agents. Part reformatory, part military school, and just like Hogwarts (except with more sex, drugs, and better internet access) Hexpoort is a much bigger game than your average high-school, and has much more dangerous players.An attack on his new school by a dark figure called the Muti Man reunites Baxter with supernatural bounty hunter Jackson ‘Jackie’ Ronin and puts on them on the trail of the Obayifo, a tribe of supernatural media moguls and fashion designers. Together Baxter and Jackie are plunged into the most disgusting, terrifying and dangerous situation they’ve encountered yet: Cape Town Fashion Week.
Kill Fish Jones
by Caro KingIt's Grimshaw's job to carry out death bed curses. The more horrible and deadly they are, the more he enjoys them. When his master, Lampwick the Robber, has an unexpected opportunity to curse a whole new set of humans, Grimshaw can't believe his luck!He is desperate to catch a young boy named Fish Jones. But unlike any other human, Fish can see demons, and he is determined to stay alive... But as Grimshaw grows in power, it's not just him against Fish, it's him against the whole world. Can Jones stop the demon's dangerous and terrifying plan?Full of humor and wild imagination, Kill Fish Jones will grip you by the throat and not let go!
Kill the Boy Band (Point Ser.)
by Goldy MoldavskyThe New York Times–bestselling debut story of four superfan friends whose devotion to their favorite band has darkly comical and deadly results.Just know from the start that it wasn’t supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near them. That’s why we got a room in the hotel where they were staying.We were not planning to kidnap one of them. Especially not the most useless one. But we had him—his room key, his cell phone, and his secrets.We were not planning on what happened next. We swear.Praise for Kill the Boy Band“Moldavsky’s sharp, shocking debut is like no other.” —Entertainment Weekly“Fiercely entertaining . . . One of the smartest YA releases of the year.” —New York Daily News“Misery for the Belieber generation.” —Observer.com“Boy bands gets the Heathers treatment in this madcap macabre . . . A sendup of the artificiality of the fame-making machine from both sides, the novel’s humor is mercilessly black, and no one comes up smelling like roses.” —Kirkus Reviews“Wickedly funny.” —NPR.org“Bitingly satirical.” —Publishers Weekly“[For] anyone who’s ever had the fortune-or misfortune-of being a fan.” —Booklist “Hilarious . . . A must-have.” —School Library Journal
Kill the Farm Boy: The Tales of Pell (The Tales of Pell #1)
by Kevin Hearne Delilah S. DawsonIn an irreverent new series in the tradition of Monty Python, the bestselling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes. <P><P>Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. <P> This is not that fairy tale. <P> There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. <P>And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. <P>There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed.
Kill the Mall
by Pasha MallaDouglas Adams meets David Lynch in this witty yet horror-tinged fable about one of North America's scariest inventions--the local mall.After writing a letter in praise of "malls," our eccentric narrator is offered a "residency" at a shabby suburban shopping centre. His mission: to occupy the mall for several weeks, splitting his time between "making work" and "engaging the public," all while chronicling his adventures in weekly progress reports.Before long, a series of strange after-hour events rattles our hero, and he sets forth on a nightly quest to untangle the mysterious forces at play in the mall's unmapped recesses. Things quickly get hairy, and our narrator's optimism about his mall residency descends into doubt, and then into a full-blown phantasmagoria of horror and (possibly) murder. With the aid of a weird and wonderful cast of mall-dwelling misfits--including a pony named Gary--our narrator is forced to conclude that the mall may not be the temple of consumer bliss he initially imagined, but something far more sinister. And who, or what, is benefitting from its existence? Pasha Malla's creative genius shines in this madcap work of horror-fantasy--a cutting critique of consumer culture as embodied in the fading local mall.
Kill Your Friends: A Novel
by John Niven“I loved Kill Your Friends. Who didn’t? Scorched earth humor at its finest.” — Douglas Coupland, author of Microserfs“Hilariously dark and satirical.” — Library Journal“A very dark, viciously funny novel.” — Booklist“This is not for the easily offended, but readers with at least a slightly deranged bent will have a ball.” — Publishers Weekly“Kill Your Friends is the most exciting British novel since Trainspotting.” — Word magazine“Like the product of an unholy union between Bret Easton Ellis and Martin Amis...the reader is alternately shocked and left crying with laughter.” — Bookseller (London)
Killer Animals (EDGE: The Wimp's Guide to #1)
by Tracey TurnerHave you ever:Wrestled a crocodile?Dived with great white sharks?Had a tarantula walk on your hand?If you answered NO to all of the above then this is the book for you!Are you a scaredy cat? Perfect! Feel frightened of animals? Woohoo! Inside you can read about loads of crazy stuff and how to survive - or avoid it.Love you inner wimp!Inside:Deadly Land Predators - Polar Bears, Lions, Tigers, Snakes, HippopotamusesUnder Water Killers - Sharks, Box Jellyfish, CrocodilesTiny Assassins - Mosquitos, Spiders, ScorpionsThis title is published by Franklin Watts EDGE, which produces a range of books to get children reading with confidence. We believe this title will be of interest to readers aged 7+ and to older readers who struggle with reading.EDGE - for books kids can't put down.
Killer Lunch Lady
by Elise LeonardAL'S WORLD DON'T EAT THE PUDDING! Something about the lunch lady at Al's school stinks, and it isn't just her cooking. She wants Al and Keith to keep an eye on their friend Beth. But every time Al reports Beth's whereabouts to the lunch lady, strange men show up with guns. What's Beth hiding? Why would anyone want to kill her? And what the heck does the lunch lady have to do with it?
The Killer Underpants (Jiggy McCue #2)
by Michael LawrenceJiggy McCue has a problem. His new underpants won't come off. Worse still, they have a mind of their own. An evil mind that seems to want to ruin his life. And it's succeeding!
The Killer Underpants (Jiggy McCue #2)
by Michael LawrenceJoin Jiggy McCue and his pals in a pant-astically funny adventure! The underpants from hell - that's what Jiggy calls them, and not just because they look gross. No, these pants are evil. And they're in control of Jiggy, of his life! Can Jiggy get to the bottom of his problem before it's too late? This hilarious and wacky adventure is brought to life by the well-known voice of Martin Clunes.(P) Orchard Books 2010
Killing Auntie
by Wiesiek Powaga Andrzej Bursa"The Polish postwar firebrand Andrzej Bursa acquired a reputation as a quick-burning, existentially tormented rebel. . . . Yet Bursa's dark humor and deadpan satire . . . keep utter bleakness at bay."-The Independent"A revolution against the banality of everyday life."-Gazeta KrakowskaA young university student named Jurek, with no particular ambitions or talents, is adrift. After his doting aunt asks him to perform a small chore, he decides to kill her for no good reason other than, perhaps, boredom. Killing Auntie follows Jurek as he seeks to dispose of the corpse-a task more difficult than one might imagine-and then falls in love with a girl he meets on a train. Can he tell her what he's done? Will that ruin everything?"I'm convinced-simply-that we are all guilty," says Jurek, and his adventures with nosy neighbors, false-toothed grandmothers, and love-making lynxes shed light on how an entire society becomes involved in the murder and disposal of dear old Auntie. This is a short comedic masterpiece combining elements of Fyodor Dostoevsky, Jean-Paul Sartre, Franz Kafka, and Joseph Heller, coming together in the end to produce an unforgettable tale of murder and-just maybe-redemption.Andrzej Bursa was born in 1934 in Krakow, Poland, and died twenty-five years later. In his brief lifetime he composed some of the most original Polish writing of the twentieth century. Killing Auntie is his only novel. His brilliant career and tragic early death established him as a cult figure among restless and disenchanted youth.
The Killing Handbook: Forbyldelsen Forever!
by Emma KennedyEmma Kennedy tells you everything you ever wanted to know about THE KILLING - and more.Hej! If you've been experiencing an inexplicable longing for rain, long dark nights and an overwhelming urge to pull on a slightly itchy looking jumper, then congratulations - You have Forbrydelsen Fever. There's no need to panic.This is your chance to get inside the world of Sarah Lund and THE KILLING: from the characters, the plot holes and the politics to the language, dating the Danish way and the jumpers ... So if you've ever wondered who cut the CCTV wire outside Lund's flat in series one, why Morten went so far to protect Troels (TROOOOOOOOOELLLLLLS), where you can start your walking tour of Copenhagen from woods to warehouses and the County Hall or even how you can knit your own Lund jumper - this is the book for you.Emma Kennedy is a superfan and this is her hilarious guide to everything you're going to need to pretend you are Danish, bone up on everything suspicious and transform yourself into Sarah Lund herself.
The Killing Handbook: Forbyldelsen Forever!
by Emma KennedyEmma Kennedy tells you everything you ever wanted to know about THE KILLING - and more.Hej! If you've been experiencing an inexplicable longing for rain, long dark nights and an overwhelming urge to pull on a slightly itchy looking jumper, then congratulations - You have Forbrydelsen Fever. There's no need to panic.This is your chance to get inside the world of Sarah Lund and THE KILLING: from the characters, the plot holes and the politics to the language, dating the Danish way and the jumpers ... So if you've ever wondered who cut the CCTV wire outside Lund's flat in series one, why Morten went so far to protect Troels (TROOOOOOOOOELLLLLLS), where you can start your walking tour of Copenhagen from woods to warehouses and the County Hall or even how you can knit your own Lund jumper - this is the book for you.Emma Kennedy is a superfan and this is her hilarious guide to everything you're going to need to pretend you are Danish, bone up on everything suspicious and transform yourself into Sarah Lund herself.
The Killing Joke
by Anthony HorowitzWhen Guy Fletcher scoffs at a feeble joke he overhears in his local pub, he finds himself, in quick succession, head-butted and struck by an idea. Is it possible to trace a joke all the way back to its original source?
Killing Me
by Michelle GagnonA LibraryReads PickUtterly original and wildly entertaining, Killing Me is a laugh-loud-loud thriller with a protagonist whose life is a total mess.She escaped a serial killer. Then things got weird.Amber Jamison can&’t believe she&’s about to become the latest victim of a serial killer. She&’s savvy and street smart, so when she gets pushed into, of all things, a white windowless van, she is more angry than afraid. Things get even weirder when she&’s miraculously saved by a mysterious woman . . . who promptly disappears. Who was she? And why is she hunting serial killers?You&’d think escaping one psychopath would be enough, but Amber&’s problems are just beginning. Her close call has law enforcement circling a past she&’s tried to outrun. She&’s forced to flee across the country, ending up at a seedy motel in Las Vegas with a noir-obsessed manager and a sex worker as her unlikely companions . . . and danger right behind. She&’s landed in the cross hairs of the world&’s most prolific killer, caught up in a deadly game that&’s been going on for years. To survive, she is forced to dust off her old playbook and partner with someone she can&’t trust. The odds are against her, but sometimes you just have to roll the dice.
Killing Monica
by Candace BushnellThis is the book fans of Candace Bushnell have been waiting for. From the author of Sex and the City, Lipstick Jungle, and The Carrie Diaries comes an addictive story about fame, love, and foolishness that will keep readers enthralled to the very last enticing scene.Pandy "PJ" Wallis is a renowned writer whose novels about a young woman making her way in Manhattan have spawned a series of blockbuster films. After the success of the Monica books and movies, Pandy wants to attempt something different: a historical novel based on her ancestor Lady Wallis. But Pandy's publishers and audience only want her to keep cranking out more Monica-as does her greedy husband, Jonny, who's gone deeply in debt to finance his new restaurant in Las Vegas. When her marriage crumbles and the boathouse of her family home in Connecticut goes up in flames, Pandy suddenly realizes she has an opportunity to reinvent herself. But to do so, she will have to reconcile with her ex-best friend and former partner in crime, SondraBeth Schnowzer, who plays Monica on the big screen-and who may have her own reasons to derail Pandy's startling change of plan.In KILLING MONICA, Candace Bushnell spoofs and skewers her way through pop culture, celebrity worship, fame, and the meaning of identity. With her trademark humor and style, this is Bushnell's sharpest, funniest book to date. *Includes Reading Group Guide*
Killing Monica
by Candace BushnellIn Killing Monica Bushnell spoofs and skewers her way through pop culture, celebrity worship, fame and even the meaning of life itself, when a famous writer must resort to faking her own death in order to get her life back from her most infamous creation - Monica. With her trademark humour and style, Killing Monica is Bushnell's sharpest, funniest book to date.This is Bushnell at her best - full of mordant wit, casual sex and highly conspicuous consumption.
Killing O'Reilly
by Courtney Bowman Nicholas BowmanA death-defying, more or less historically accurate parody of Bill O'Reilly's bestselling Killing series, from one of the writers of the Harvard Lampoon's Nightlight and one other red-blooded American.Infamous conservative TV personality, newspaper columnist, and Great American Educator Bill O'Reilly has killed off Lincoln, Kennedy, Jesus, and Patton in his bestselling history series. But the everyman from Levittown is hardly done: herein, Vintage Shorts presents the next batch of deaths by O'Reilly. Witness the lives and untimely ends of American heroes like Ronald Reagan and Albus Dumbledore, and villains from Hitler and bin Laden to Stewart and Colbert. God bless America and Benghazi conspiracies. An eBook short.
Kilmer's Pet Monster (The Bailey City Monsters #4)
by Marcia Thornton Jones Debbie DadeyKilmer Hauntly, who looks a lot like Frankenstein, is excited about the Bailey City Best Pet contest. His mysterious pet is unlike any creature the town has ever seen.
The Kiln
by William McIlvanneyA novel of dreams, disappointments, and detours: &“Pitch-perfect . . . excruciatingly funny . . . a beguilingly brilliant portrait of the artist as an adolescent.&” —The Sunday Times Named Scottish Book of the Year by the Saltire Society Tam Docherty was seventeen in the summer of 1955. With school behind him and a summer job at a brick works, Tom had his whole life before him. Years later, alone in a rented flat in Edinburgh and lost in memories, Tom recalls the intellectual and sexual awakening of his youth. In looking back, Tom discovers that only by understanding where he comes from can he make sense of his life as it is now. A follow-up to the author&’s prize-winning novel Docherty, which focused on Tam&’s namesake grandfather, this is a &“beautifully written&” story of boyhood, manhood, and the sometimes blurry border between them (The Times, London). &“On almost every page it offers matter for reflection and the sudden stab of emotion that comes from reading something that is truly evoked or created . . . It is rare and it is wonderful.&” —The Scotsman