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Written in the Stars: A Novel
by Alexandria Bellefleur"I was hooked from the very first page!” – Christina Lauren, New York Times bestselling author of In a HolidazeAn Indie Next and Library Reads Pick + one of the Best Romances of November according to Shondaland, Amazon, and Popsugar!With nods to Bridget Jones and Pride & Prejudice, this debut is a delightful #ownvoices queer rom-com about a free-spirited social media astrologer who agrees to fake a relationship with an uptight actuary until New Year’s Eve—with results not even the stars could predict!After a disastrous blind date, Darcy Lowell is desperate to stop her well-meaning brother from playing matchmaker ever again. Love—and the inevitable heartbreak—is the last thing she wants. So she fibs and says her latest set up was a success. Darcy doesn’t expect her lie to bite her in the ass. Elle Jones, one of the astrologers behind the popular Twitter account Oh My Stars, dreams of finding her soul mate. But she knows it is most assuredly not Darcy... a no-nonsense stick-in-the-mud, who is way too analytical, punctual, and skeptical for someone as free-spirited as Elle. When Darcy’s brother—and Elle's new business partner—expresses how happy he is that they hit it off, Elle is baffled. Was Darcy on the same date? Because... awkward. Darcy begs Elle to play along and she agrees to pretend they’re dating. But with a few conditions: Darcy must help Elle navigate her own overbearing family during the holidays and their arrangement expires on New Year’s Eve. The last thing they expect is to develop real feelings during a faux relationship. But maybe opposites can attract when true love is written in the stars?"Everything I want from a rom-com: fun, whimsical, sexy." – Talia Hibbert, USA Today bestselling author of Get a Life, Chloe Brown
Written in the Stars
by Luann MclaneFrom the USA Today bestselling author of Walking on Sunshine comes a new novel set in Cricket Creek, Kentucky, starring a city girl who meets the man of her dreams in a least likely place--a sweet, small town nowhere near the big city...No one is more shocked than Grace Gordon when her cosmetics line makes her a millionaire in need of new investments. Bailing out Mason Mayfield's Cricket Creek craft brewery seems like the perfect solution. It doesn't hurt that the sexy country boy makes her weak in the knees...Sure, Mason is grateful to Grace for saving his brewery. But her upscale marketing plans for his down home business are driving him crazy. She needs a good man to reel her in, and he happily takes the job--especially since it'll involve some time behind the brewery's closed doors.Unfortunately, Grace has never been good at staying in one place. And now that she's thinking about leaving, Mason has to convince her to call Cricket Creek home--and admit their love was written in the stars...
Written Out
by Andrea FrazerA regional television programme, Get One Over, where amateurs search for and discover antiques and valuable objects in junk shops, has captured the nation’s zeitgeist and gone nationwide.The Christmas episode is to be filmed in Market Darley, and both antiques fan, Miss Emily Jarvis, and DI Falconer and DS Carmichael plan to be in town to bump into the stars of the programme. Carmichael loves the programme for its jokey narrator, but Falconer, along with a host of other viewers, hates the man’s rude and condescending commentary.But on a crispy cold December morning, as the chase around the town to find the TV stars continues, it proves to be a terminal performance for one of their number.
The Wrong Billionaire's Bed: Billionaire Boys Club 3 (Billionaire Boys Club)
by Jessica ClareFans of J.S. Scott, Louise Bay and Melody Anne - prepare to be dazzled by Jessica Clare's Billionaire Boys Club. The Billionaire Boys Club is a secret society of six incredibly wealthy men who have vowed success in business - at any cost. But success when it comes to love is a different matter...Audrey Petty's always been the responsible one. The good twin. She'd be the perfect girlfriend for her childhood crush, billionaire Cade Archer...except that she's pretty sure she's not even on his radar. But when fate decrees that Audrey spend time with Cade at his remote cabin retreat, it's a dream come true... Until she meets her worst nightmare.Billionaire playboy Reese Durham is used to seducing women to get what he wants. But when stiff, too-proper Audrey arrives at his buddy's mountain lodge it's clear that Audrey's in love with Cade...and it's clear to Reese that blackmailing Audrey with this information can get her to agree to just about anything. Like furtive kisses, or a secret rendezvous in the woods. Audrey may think she knows what she wants, but Reese is determined to show her what she needs...Want more irresistible romance? Look for the rest of Billionaire Boys Club titles, starting with Stranded With A Billionaire, as well as the sizzling spinoff series, Billionaires and Bridesmaids, starting with The Billionaire And The Virgin.
The Wrong Book
by Drew DaywaltWhat if the narrator of the book you're reading is just...WRONG?! This hilarious book from the author of The Day the Crayons Quit will have you correcting what you're reading—and laughing!Do bicycles say cock-a-doodle-doo? Do firefighters shout Ding Dong! before they put out a fire?That&’s what the narrator of this hilarious picture book thinks! Good thing there are some other characters in this book to set him straight…With bright bold illustrations, this laugh-out-loud funny story, written by the author of The Day the Crayons Quit, is sure to give kids—and grown-ups—a serious case of the giggles. Because a flower goes chugga-chugga-choo-choo. Right? Right?
The Wrong Box
by Robert Louis Stevenson Lloyd Osbourne Otto PenzlerTwo brothers will do whatever it takes to hide a body and inherit a fortune in this laugh-out-loud crime caper Elderly Joseph and Masterman Finsbury are the last survivors of a tontine established in their youth. Their nephews, Morris and John, have one simple goal: Keep Uncle Joseph alive longer than Uncle Masterman. If they succeed, the brothers will be set for life. If they fail, the fortune goes to cousin Michael--and poverty will be their fate. When the siblings regain consciousness after a train wreck, they discover that Joseph--or a man dressed exactly like him--died in the crash. Not to worry; Morris has a plan. Instead of burying the body where anyone might dig it up, they'll ship it around the world until Uncle Masterman dies. It seems foolproof, until the incorrect package arrives at the first destination and Morris and John have to find poor, dead Uncle Joseph before somebody opens the wrong box. This ebook features a new introduction by Otto Penzler and has been professionally proofread to ensure accuracy and readability on all devices.
The Wrong Child: A gripping thriller you won't be able to put down
by Barry GornellHow far would you go to protect your child?When tragedy strikes in a small Scottish village, everyone in the community is affected.Most people believe one child is to blame for what happened.But could a young boy really be responsible? And what lengths will his parents go to protect him?THE WRONG CHILD is the most thought-provoking novel of 2018, perfect for fans of WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN by Lionel Shriver and MY ABSOLUTE DARLING by Gabriel Tallent.****************READERS ARE CALLING THE WRONG CHILD 'UNFORGETTABLE':'Amazing' - Amazon 5* review'A great page-turner!' Amazon 5* review'Hopefully it will receive the wider audience it so richly deserves' - Amazon 5* review'Challenges your notions and ideals of morality' - Amazon review'Will stick with you long after you finish it!' Amazon review****************What the critics are saying about THE WRONG CHILD:'A thought-provoking read' - THE SUN'Genuinely gripping' - THE HERALD'A study of guilt and grief' - DAILY MAIL'Brilliant, but dark as hell' - METRO'Astonishing' - PSYCHOLOGIES'So visceral it seeps into your pores' - DAILY RECORD'Stunning. Macabre, unsettling and beautifully poetic' - BRIAN CONAGHAN, Costa Award winning author
The Wrong Dead Guy (Another Coop Heist Ser.)
by Richard KadreyA special agent for a supernatural task force hunts down a runaway mummy bent on raising hell in this adventure by a New York Times–bestselling author.Coop, a master thief sort of gone legit, save the world from an ancient doomsday device—heroism that earned him a gig working for the Department of Peculiar Science, a fearsome top secret government agency that polices the odd and the strange.Now Woolrich, Coop’s boss at the DOPS, has Coop breaking into a traveling antiquities show to steal a sarcophagus containing the mummy of a powerful Egyptian wizard named Harkuf.Coop pulls off the heist without a hitch. And it’s not his fault that when DOPS opened the sarcophagus they didn’t find the mummy they were expecting. Well, it was the right mummy, but it wasn’t exactly dead—and now it’s escaped. Being a typical boss, Woolrich blames his underling for the screw-up and wants Coop to find the missing Harkuf, pronto.Digging into Harkuf’s history, Coop thinks the mummy is hunting for an ancient magical manuscript that will help bring his old lover back to life. Which wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t a warrior sorceress hell-bent on conquering the world with undead armies.Coop would very much like to run from the oncoming chaos. It’s one thing to steal a mummy, but another to have to deal with head-hunting bureaucrats, down-on-their-luck fortune tellers, undead mailroom clerks, and a rather unimpressed elephant. Unfortunately, there’s nowhere to run. If Coop wants the madness to stop, he must suck it up and play hero once more. But if he manages to save the world AGAIN, he’s definitely going to want a lot of answers—and a raise.Praise for The Wrong Dead Guy“A goofy, flamboyant, and breathless horror adventure by one of the genre’s sharpest creators.” —Kirkus Reviews“[The Wrong] Dead Guy is a riot. It’s just plain dangerous fun.” —NPR“[Kadrey’s] plotting is as deft as ever, weaving eight broad story arcs into one overarching narrative that’s entertainingly unpredictable.” —Publishers Weekly
The Wrong End of the Table: A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit in
by Ayser SalmanAn Immigrant Love-Hate Story of What it Means to Be American You know that feeling of being at the wrong end of the table? Like you’re at a party but all the good stuff is happening out of earshot (#FOMO)? That’s life—especially for an immigrant. What happens when a shy, awkward Arab girl with a weird name and an unfortunate propensity toward facial hair is uprooted from her comfortable (albeit fascist-regimed) homeland of Iraq and thrust into the cold, alien town of Columbus, Ohio—with its Egg McMuffins, Barbie dolls, and kids playing doctor everywhere you turned? This is Ayser Salman’s story. First comes Emigration, then Naturalization, and finally Assimilation—trying to fit in among her blonde-haired, blue-eyed counterparts, and always feeling left out. On her journey to Americanhood, Ayser sees more naked butts at pre-kindergarten daycare that she would like, breaks one of her parents’ rules (“Thou shalt not participate as an actor in the school musical where a male cast member rests his head in thy lap”), and other things good Muslim Arab girls are not supposed to do. And, after the 9/11 attacks, she experiences the isolation of being a Muslim in her own country. It takes hours of therapy, fifty-five rounds of electrolysis, and some ill-advised romantic dalliances for Ayser to grow into a modern Arab American woman who embraces her cultural differences. Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
The Wrong Heaven
by Amy BonnaffonsIncluding the story "Horse," as heard on This American Life. For fans of George Saunders and Karen Russell, an "amazing, wildly inventive" collection of stories that straddles the line between the real and the fantastical. (Kevin Wilson) <P><P>In The Wrong Heaven, anything is possible: bodies can transform, inanimate objects come to life, angels appear and disappear. <P><P>Bonnaffons draws us into a delightfully strange universe, in which her conflicted characters seek to solve their sexual and spiritual dilemmas in all the wrong places. The title story's heroine reckons with grief while arguing with loquacious Jesus and Mary lawn ornaments that come to life when she plugs them in. In "Horse," we enter a world in which women transform themselves into animals through a series of medical injections. In "Alternate," a young woman convinces herself that all she needs to revive a stagnant relationship is the perfect poster of the Dalai Lama. <P><P>While some of the worlds to which Bonnaffons transports us are more recognizable than others, all of them uncover the mysteries beneath the mundane surfaces of our lives. Enormously funny, boldly inventive, and as provocative as they are deeply affecting, these stories lay bare the heart of our deepest longings.
The Wrong Marquess (The Mating Habits of Scoundrels #3)
by Vivienne LorretUSA Today bestselling author Vivienne Lorret continues the Mating Habits of Scoundrels series with a debutante who believes she is destined to marry the lord next door until a fateful encounter with a rogue makes her wonder… if she might be falling for the wrong marquess!The wrong place…Elodie Parrish can feel spinsterhood breathing down her neck. That’s the trouble with waiting for the marquess next door her entire life. But Ellie knows if she gives him one last Season, he’ll finally propose. The only problem is, her path keeps crossing with the arrogant Lord Hullworth, who is convinced she has designs on him. The wrong time…Brandon, Marquess of Hullworth, never wanted to be “London’s Most Elusive Bachelor,” or have a horde of hopeful debutantes and their scheming mamas follow him around. His past has left him too jaded to consider marrying any of them. At least, that’s what he thinks... until he meets Ellie. She’s quirky, opinionated, blushes easily, and drives him absolutely wild. The only problem is, she believes she’s in love with someone else. Ellie never imagined that one sultry summer could change everything. But the more time she spends with Brandon researching her book on the mating habits of scoundrels, the more she starts to fall for… The Wrong Marquess
The Wrong Mr. Darcy
by Evelyn Lozada Holly LorinczIn Evelyn Lozada and Holly Lorincz's lightly inspired Pride and Prejudice romantic comedy, two unlikely people discover the error of judging by first impressions and the beauty of family, friendship and love. This book will entice you through the last page.Hara Isari has big ambitions and they won’t be sidetracked by her mother’s insisting that she settle down soon. She dreams of leaving her small-town newspaper behind, as well as her felon father, and building a career as a sports writer, so when she is chosen to exclusively interview a basketball superstar, she jumps at the chance. It’s time to show the bigwigs what she’s truly made of. At the same time, she meets a rookie on the rise, Derek Darcy. Darcy is incredibly handsome, obnoxiously proud, and has a major chip on his shoulder. Hara can’t think of a man more arrogant and infuriating. However, fate keeps bringing them together—from locker rooms to elegant parties, to the storm of the century—and what begins as a clash might just be more complicated than Hara anticipated. When she begins to see Darcy in a new light, Hara is not quite sure if she should drop the ball or play the love game.
Wrong Place, (Really) Wrong Time
by Nicholas O. TimeLuis takes The Book of Memories home and things get crazy in this third zany novel, part of the all-new In Due Time series.When librarian Valerie Tremt gives student Luis Ramirez a chance to go back in time, he knows just what he wants to do. He plans to go back to 1696 and see exactly where Captain William Kidd left buried treasure, and then return to the spot and retrieve it. He'll be rich and famous! But when he returns from his time traveling adventure without any treasure, he is inconsolable. To make matters worse, his older brother Rafael doesn't believe he time traveled at all. Luis decides there's only one way to convince him. He brings The Book of Memories home to show Rafael, despite Ms. Tremt's warning that the book is never to leave the library without her permission. Luis ignores her warning--after all, it's just a book. What could possibly go wrong? Turns out--a lot. When Luis wakes up to find a Viking, Charlie Chaplin, and King Tut wandering around his house, he realizes Ms. Tremt's warning was no joke. The good news is now Rafael believes him. The bad news is that it's not going to be easy to get these historical figures back to their proper time periods, especially because none of them want to go home! Can Luis find a way to put everything--and everyone--in the right place before time runs out?
The Wrong Pong (The Wrong Pong)
by Steven ButlerThe Wrong Pong by Steven Butler is a laugh-out-loud, stinky story for 5+ girls and boys.One night, Neville Brisket wakes up from a strange dream - a dream that there is a horrible, stumpy finger stuck up his nose. Then he finds his room in a mess, and his dog in the laundry basket.Neville's investigations end sposhily, when he is whooshed down the toilet to the land of Under! In a case of mistaken troll-dentity, he finds himself part of a disgusting new family. Will anybody help Neville get back to Over, or will he be stuck eating rat patties and left sock stew forever?This hilariously delivered tale will delight and disgust parents and children alike. Perfect for fans of Roald Dahl and Horrid Henry.'Horrid Henry's favourite book!' - Francesca Simon, author of Horrid Henry 'A triumphant debut which will have children clutching the loo-seat in apprehension and laughter' - Amanda Craig, The TimesSteven Butler is an actor, dancer and trained circus performer as well as a keen observer of trolls and their disgusting habits. He has starred in Peter Pan, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and as Henry in Horrid Henry Live and Horrid! His primary school headmaster was fantastically funny author Jeremy Strong.
The Wrong Pong: Holiday Hullabaloo (The Wrong Pong)
by Steven ButlerHullo, My Brandyburp!Neville's Grandma Joan is the grumpiest, most horrible old woman there's ever been. He'd rather eat left-sock stew than see her, and now she's coming to stay for a WHOLE weekend. Oh dungle droppings! Even worse, a whole family of stinky, swampy trolls will be visiting Neville at the SAME TIME!Can Neville hide his friends from nosy Grandma Joan or will she get the FRIGHT of her life?
The Wrong Pong: Singin' in the Drain (The Wrong Pong)
by Steven ButlerAnother hilarious ebook from Steven Butler, author of The Wrong Pong, The Wrong Pong: Holiday Hullabaloo and The Wrong Pong: Troll's Treasure.Rubella, grotsome and moodsie troll big sister, wants to be on the stage. Can Neville help his disgustingly rambunkin troll family get Rubella squeezed into a ballet tutu and tights and into the starring role?The fourth book in Steven Butler's troll-tastic series, brilliantly illustrated by Chris Fisher, will delight and disgust parents and children alike, especially fans of Roald Dahl or Andy Stanton's Mr Gum.As well as being a successful children's author, Steven Butler is a talented actor and dancer who has appeared alongside Ralph Fiennes in a recent production of The Tempest as well as in Horrid Henry and The Wizard of Oz on the West End stage. His books are loved and praised by comic talents such as Jeremy Strong, author of The Hundred Mile an Hour Dog, and by Francesca Simon, author of Horrid Henry.
Wrong Pong: Troll's Treasure (The Wrong Pong)
by Steven ButlerNeville's adventures continue when he is faced with a band of troll pirates! As if that isn't rotsome enough, the evil troll Jaundice is back...oh dungle droppings!The third book in Steven Butler's troll-tastic series will delight and disgust parents and children alike.
The Wrong Side of Magic
by Janette Rallison"Whimsical, exciting, funny, adventurous--all the things I loved about books growing up."--James Dashner, New York Times-bestselling author of the Maze Runner seriesHudson Brown stopped believing in magic long ago. That is, until the day he is whisked away to the magical land of Logos by a curious compass given to him by his off-beat neighbor, Charlotte.Hudson discovers that Logos is a land ruled by words, thoughts, and memories. A fairy might ferry you across the river for the price of one memory. But be sure to look out for snarky unicorns, as they will see through those who are not pure of heart. Not understanding the many rules of Logos, Hudson is quickly saddled with a troll curse. Charlotte, who, along with her father, was banished from Logos, can help get rid of the curse--but only if he agrees to find the lost Princess of Logos in return.
Wry Martinis
by Christopher Buckleyn the most inebriating humor book of the year, the author of Steaming to Bamboola and The White House Mess goes straight for the funny bone with essays and mischief that includes such gems of gullibility as the pope's appearance on Oprah, O.J. Simpson's search for a new apartment, the true story behind Whitewater, and so much more. Illustrations.From the Hardcover edition.
WTF?: How to Survive 101 of Life's Worst F*#!-ing Situations
by Gregory BergmanYou order a large coffee with milk and two sugars at the drive thru, and wind up with a large black-decaf. You go to save the presentation that's taken you all week to complete-only to discover it's corrupt. Your bank slaps you with a $25 charge for overdrafting 25 cents... And all you can think is...WTF?Luckily for you, this book fills in the blanks and gives you humorous ideas for what to do when life makes them say, "what the f*#!?" Step by step, the authors take readers through inventively therapeutic, sometimes illegal, always hilarious solutions to life's many problematic situations.Whether it happens at the office or at home, out on the town or in the bedroom, life's most f*#!'ed-up situations are covered in this entertaining guide. Rather than turn lemons into lemonade, this book spits lemon juice into life's eye and gives it a good kick to the junk.
WTF?
by Gregory Bergman Anthony W. HaddadAs if your HR Department didn't have enough to worry about, WTF? is holding its own office orientation. From dealing with workplace politics and romancing coworkers to climbing the success ladder or getting canned, WTF? Work shows you how to handle the daily lows of holding down a j-o-b. Whether you're sitting in the cubes or in the corner office, working the counter or bussing the tables, WTF? provides an employee handbook that's actually worth reading. It leaves the PC stuff to the professionals and instead delivers some not-safe-for-work advice for when your job has you saying, "WTF?" For even more f*#!-ing fun, visit www. WTFComedyStop. com
WTF?
by Anthony W. Haddad Gregory BergmanYou order a large coffee with milk and two sugars at the drive thru, and wind up with a large black-decaf. You go to save the presentation that's taken you all week to complete-only to discover it's corrupt. Your bank slaps you with a $25 charge for overdrafting 25 cents... And all you can think is...WTF? Luckily for you, this book fills in the blanks and gives you humorous ideas for what to do when life makes them say, "what the f*#!?" Step by step, the authors take readers through inventively therapeutic, sometimes illegal, always hilarious solutions to life's many problematic situations. Whether it happens at the office or at home, out on the town or in the bedroom, life's most f*#!'ed-up situations are covered in this entertaining guide. Rather than turn lemons into lemonade, this book spits lemon juice into life's eye and gives it a good kick to the junk.
WTF?!: What the French
by Olivier MagnyWith Stuff Parisians Like, Olivier Magny shared his hilarious insights into the fervently held opinions of his fellow Parisians. Now he moves beyond the City of Light to skewer the many idiosyncrasies that make modern France so very unique.In France, the simple act of eating bread is an exercise in creative problem solving and attempting to spell requires a degree of masochism. But that's just how the French like it--and in WTF, Olivier Magny reveals the France only the French know. From the latest trends in baby names, to the religiously observed division of church and state, prepare yourself for an insider's look at French culture that is surprising, insightful, and chock full of bons mots. INCLUDES PHOTOGRAPHS. From the Trade Paperback edition.
WTF? America: How to Survive 101 of the Worst F*#!-ing Situations in the United States
by Gregory BergmanYou made 40 grand last year--and got to keep almost half after taxes . . . A poorly timed joke at the airport has you on the Do Not Fly list . . . It just cost you 60 bucks to fill up your 1998 Kia . . .Welcome to WTF? America: The land of the free . . . and the home of the totally f*#!ed.Whether you made the mistake of messing with (a drunk guy in a bar from) Texas or a Red Sox fan spit on your car just for having New York plates, the mighty U.S. of A. is sure to screw over everyone at some point or another. But hey, these colors don't run--and that's where Gregory Berman and Jodi Miller come in.Join the authors of the bestselling WTF? series on a state-by-state road trip through our greatly infuriating nation. Whether you're trying to figure out how to stay in shape in America's fattest state (Mississippi) or just want to dodge your town's local "smog tax," this survival guide is certain to entertain.From sea to polluted sea, it's exactly what you need when America has you screaming, "What the f*#!?"
WTF? America
by Gregory Bergman Jodi MillerYou made 40 grand last year--and got to keep almost half after taxes . . . A poorly timed joke at the airport has you on the Do Not Fly list . . . It just cost you 60 bucks to fill up your 1998 Kia . . . Welcome to WTF? America: The land of the free . . . and the home of the totally f*#!ed. Whether you made the mistake of messing with (a drunk guy in a bar from) Texas or a Red Sox fan spit on your car just for having New York plates, the mighty U.S. of A. is sure to screw over everyone at some point or another. But hey, these colors don't run--and that's where Gregory Berman and Jodi Miller come in. Join the authors of the bestselling WTF? series on a state-by-state road trip through our greatly infuriating nation. Whether you're trying to figure out how to stay in shape in America's fattest state (Mississippi) or just want to dodge your town's local "smog tax," this survival guide is certain to entertain. From sea to polluted sea, it's exactly what you need when America has you screaming, "What the f*#!?"