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WTF? America
by Gregory Bergman Jodi MillerYou made 40 grand last year--and got to keep almost half after taxes . . . A poorly timed joke at the airport has you on the Do Not Fly list . . . It just cost you 60 bucks to fill up your 1998 Kia . . . Welcome to WTF? America: The land of the free . . . and the home of the totally f*#!ed. Whether you made the mistake of messing with (a drunk guy in a bar from) Texas or a Red Sox fan spit on your car just for having New York plates, the mighty U.S. of A. is sure to screw over everyone at some point or another. But hey, these colors don't run--and that's where Gregory Berman and Jodi Miller come in. Join the authors of the bestselling WTF? series on a state-by-state road trip through our greatly infuriating nation. Whether you're trying to figure out how to stay in shape in America's fattest state (Mississippi) or just want to dodge your town's local "smog tax," this survival guide is certain to entertain. From sea to polluted sea, it's exactly what you need when America has you screaming, "What the f*#!?"
WTF? America
by Gregory Bergman Jodi MillerAmerica: The land of the free . . . and the home of the totally f*#!ed. Whether you made the mistake of messing with (a drunk guy in a bar from) Texas or a Red Sox fan spit on your car just for having New York plates, the mighty U. S. of A. is sure to screw over everyone at some point or another. But hey, these colors don't run--and that's where Gregory Berman and Jodi Miller come in. Join the authors of the bestselling WTF? series on a state-by-state road trip through our greatly infuriating nation. Whether you're trying to figure out how to stay in shape in America's fattest state (Mississippi) or just want to dodge your town's local "smog tax," this survival guide is certain to entertain. From sea to polluted sea, it's exactly what you need when America has you screaming, "What the f*#!?"
WTF? College: How to Survive 101 of Campus's Worst F*#!-ing Situations
by Gregory BergmanYour roommate keeps piling crap on your side of the room. It’s the day before Christmas break and your ride home ditches you. Your knee gives out and you lose your baseball scholarship. Halfway through your final semester, you realize you’re a credit short of graduating. And all you can think is . . . WTF?Like Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School, we’re heading to campus to lend a helping hand to all those college kids who can’t quite make the grade. Inside they’ll find hilarious solutions to all the obstacles that lie between them and that elusive diploma. From indecisions about major selection to problems picking up that hot classmate to cramming for finals, this book covers all the awful, awkward, and annoying instances that would have college students IMing, posting, or texting: “WTF?” Be it in the dorm room or classroom, during finals week or spring break, campus’s most f*#!-ed-up situations are handled in this entertaining step-by-step guide.
WTF? College
by Gregory Bergman Jodi MillerYour roommate keeps piling crap on your side of the room. It's the day before Christmas break and your ride home ditches you. Your knee gives out and you lose your baseball scholarship. Halfway through your final semester, you realize you're a credit short of graduating. And all you can think is . . . WTF? Like Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School, we're heading to campus to lend a helping hand to all those college kids who can't quite make the grade. Inside they'll find hilarious solutions to all the obstacles that lie between them and that elusive diploma. From indecisions about major selection to problems picking up that hot classmate to cramming for finals, this book covers all the awful, awkward, and annoying instances that would have college students IMing, posting, or texting: WTF?" Be it in the dorm room or classroom, during finals week or spring break, campus's most f*#!-ed-up situations are handled in this entertaining step-by-step guide. "
WTF? College
by Jodi Miller Gregory BergmanYour roommate keeps piling crap on your side of the room. It's the day before Christmas break and your ride home ditches you. Your knee gives out and you lose your baseball scholarship. Halfway through your final semester, you realize you're a credit short of graduating. And all you can think is . . . WTF?Like Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School, we're heading to campus to lend a helping hand to all those college kids who can't quite make the grade. Inside they'll find hilarious solutions to all the obstacles that lie between them and that elusive diploma. From indecisions about major selection to problems picking up that hot classmate to cramming for finals, this book covers all the awful, awkward, and annoying instances that would have college students IMing, posting, or texting: "WTF?" Be it in the dorm room or classroom, during finals week or spring break, campus's most f*#!-ed-up situations are handled in this entertaining step-by-step guide.
WTF, Evolution?!: A Theory of Unintelligible Design
by Mara GrunbaumWe all have our off days. Why should Evolution be any different? Maybe Evolution got carried away with an idea that was just a little too crazy—like having the Regal Horned Lizard defend itself by shooting three-foot streams of blood from its eyes. Or maybe Evolution ran out of steam (Memo to Evolution: The Irrawaddy Dolphin looks like a prototype that should have been left on the drawing board). Or maybe Evolution was feeling cheeky—a fish with hands? Joke’s on you, Red Handfish! Or maybe Evolution simply goofed up: How else to explain the overgrown teeth of the babirusas that curl backward over their face? Oops. Mara Grunbaum is a very smart, very funny science writer who celebrates the best—or, really, the worst—of Evolution’s blunders. Here are more than 100 outlandish mammals, reptiles, insects, fish, birds, and other creatures whose very existence leaves us shaking our heads and muttering WTF?! Ms. Grunbaum’s especially brilliant stroke is to personify Evolution as a well-meaning but somewhat oblivious experimenter whose conversations with a skeptical narrator are hilarious. For almost 4 billion years, Evolution has produced a nonstop parade of inflatable noses, bizarre genitalia, and seriously awkward necks. What a comedian!
WTF? Women
by Gregory BergmanYour wingman refuses to jump on a grenade.During sex, your girlfriend calls out her ex's name.Your wife went from having a sweet ass to a fat ass.And all you can think is . . . WTF?It's the one topic that pisses men off yet keeps them coming back for more--women. From hookups to breakups, this book handles the most f*#!-ed-up scenarios men face with the fairer (and far more confusing) sex. It's the perfect relationship manual for men, as it ditches the Dr. Phil advice and gives actual (if not always appropriate) assistance during the shittiest of dilemmas.Whether you're striking out or getting down, married, engaged, or can't even get past the first date--this book provides a much-deserved laugh whenever the woman in your life has you saying, "what the f*#!?"
WTF? Women: How to Survive 101 of the Worst F*#!-ing Situations with the Ladies
by Gregory BergmanYour wingman refuses to jump on a grenade.During sex, your girlfriend calls out her ex's name.Your wife went from having a sweet ass to a fat ass.And all you can think is . . . WTF?It's the one topic that pisses men off yet keeps them coming back for more--women. From hookups to breakups, this book handles the most f*#!-ed-up scenarios men face with the fairer (and far more confusing) sex. It's the perfect relationship manual for men, as it ditches the Dr. Phil advice and gives actual (if not always appropriate) assistance during the shittiest of dilemmas.Whether you're striking out or getting down, married, engaged, or can't even get past the first date--this book provides a much-deserved laugh whenever the woman in your life has you saying, "what the f*#!?"
WTF? Women: How to Survive 101 of the Worst F*#!-ing Situations with the Ladies
by Gregory Bergman Jodi MillerYour wingman refuses to jump on a grenade.During sex, your girlfriend calls out her ex's name.Your wife went from having a sweet ass to a fat ass.And all you can think is . . . WTF?It's the one topic that pisses men off yet keeps them coming back for more--women. From hookups to breakups, this book handles the most f*#!-ed-up scenarios men face with the fairer (and far more confusing) sex. It's the perfect relationship manual for men, as it ditches the Dr. Phil advice and gives actual (if not always appropriate) assistance during the shittiest of dilemmas.Whether you're striking out or getting down, married, engaged, or can't even get past the first date--this book provides a much-deserved laugh whenever the woman in your life has you saying, "what the f*#!?"
WTF? Women
by Gregory Bergman Jodi MillerHer bitchy friend tries to cockblock you. During sex, your girlfriend calls out her ex's name. Your wife went from having a hot ass to a fat ass. . . . Women are difficult, WTF? From hook-ups to break-ups, this book handles the most f*#!-ed-up scenarios men face with the fairer (and far more confusing) sex. It's your ultimate relationship manual as it ditches the Dr. Phil advice and gives you actual (if not always appropriate) assistance during the shittiest of dilemmas. Whether you're striking out or getting down, married, engaged, or can't even get past the first date-this book provides a much-deserved laugh for whenever the woman in your life has you saying, "what the f*#!?"For even more f*#!-ing fun, visit www. WTFComedystop. com.
WTF? Work
by Gregory BergmanAs if your HR Department didn't have enough to worry about, WTF? is holding its own office orientation. From dealing with workplace politics and romancing coworkers to climbing the success ladder or getting canned, WTF? Work shows you how to handle the daily lows of holding down a j-o-b.Whether you're sitting in the cubes or in the corner office, working the counter or bussing the tables, WTF? provides an employee handbook that's actually worth reading. It leaves the PC stuff to the professionals and instead delivers some not-safe-for-work advice for when your job has you saying, "WTF?" For even more f*#!-ing fun, visit www.WTFComedyStop.com
WTF? Work
by Gregory Bergman Jodi MillerAs if your HR Department didn't have enough to worry about, WTF? is holding its own office orientation. From dealing with workplace politics and romancing coworkers to climbing the success ladder or getting canned, WTF? Work shows you how to handle the daily lows of holding down a j-o-b.Whether you're sitting in the cubes or in the corner office, working the counter or bussing the tables, WTF? provides an employee handbook that's actually worth reading. It leaves the PC stuff to the professionals and instead delivers some not-safe-for-work advice for when your job has you saying, "WTF?" For even more f*#!-ing fun, visit www.WTFComedyStop.com
WTF? Work
by Gregory Bergman Jodi MillerAs if your HR Department didn't have enough to worry about, WTF? is holding its own office orientation. From dealing with workplace politics and romancing coworkers to climbing the success ladder or getting canned, WTF? Work shows you how to handle the daily lows of holding down a j-o-b.Whether you're sitting in the cubes or in the corner office, working the counter or bussing the tables, WTF? provides an employee handbook that's actually worth reading. It leaves the PC stuff to the professionals and instead delivers some not-safe-for-work advice for when your job has you saying, "WTF?" For even more f*#!-ing fun, visit www.WTFComedyStop.com
WTF? Work
by Gregory Bergman Jodi MillerAs if your HR Department didn't have enough to worry about, WTF? is holding its own office orientation. From dealing with workplace politics and romancing coworkers to climbing the success ladder or getting canned, WTF? Work shows you how to handle the daily lows of holding down a j-o-b. Whether you're sitting in the cubes or in the corner office, working the counter or bussing the tables, WTF? provides an employee handbook that's actually worth reading. It leaves the PC stuff to the professionals and instead delivers some not-safe-for-work advice for when your job has you saying, "WTF?" For even more f*#!-ing fun, visit www. WTFComedyStop. com
WuMo: Something Is Wrong
by Mikael Wulff Anders MorgenthalerThe cartoon WuMo celebrates life's absurdity and bittersweet ironies, holding up a funhouse mirror to our modern world and those who live in it. Thanks to its delightful artwork and irreverent humor, this hilarious comic by writer Mikael Wulff and illustrator Anders Morgenthaler has grown from an underground sensation to one of the biggest and most popular strips in Europe.WuMo's inventiveness is reminiscent of their countryman Hans Christian Andersen--if Andersen's fairy tales had been populated by sadistic pandas, disgruntled office workers, crazy beavers, Albert Einstein, Snoop Dogg, and Darth Vader. Named WuMo, after the Danish duo&’s last names, it appears in the largest papers in northern Europe, including Germany&’s Die Welt, Denmark&’s Politiken, and Norway&’s Dagbladet.
Wyatt Burp Rides Again
by Greg Trine Frank W. DormerSuperhero Jo Schmo has a problem: There aren't any crimes to fight in San Francisco! So she and her doggy sidekick Raymond build a time machine and head back to the Gold Rush Days to track down the notorious burping outlaw Wyatt Burp. Meanwhile, trouble is brewing back in the present time. Two mean girls have it in for Jo, and they're lying in wait for her with a wrecking ball. If Wyatt and his Hole in the Head gang don't get her, Gertrude and Betty will. Look out, Jo!
X-Change Students 101 (Marvel Avengers Assembly #3)
by Preeti ChhibberThe Avengers Assembly team takes a trip to Charles Xavier's Academy in their newest adventure!After training with the Avengers, Kamala, Doreen, and Miles are ready to branch out and expand their horizons. This semester, that means a trip north to study alongside the X-Men! If that wasn't enough, this semester features a field trip to the the Savage Land for a field trip -- an interdimensional planet that’s full of actual dinosaurs. Just what could go wrong? Turns out a TON in this laugh-out loud, action-packed adventure!
The X-Files: A Picture Book (Pop Classics #2)
by Kim SmithOne the most beloved TV shows of all time is now a sweet, silly, sci-fi bedtime story! In The X Files: Earth Children Are Weird, best pals Dana (Scully) and Fox (Mulder) have pitched a tent in the backyard for a sleepover. But the night is full of strange sounds, lights, and shadows. Surely there’s a rational, scientific explanation for everything . . . or is there? With beautiful illustrations of pint-sized Dana and Fox, this humorous and not-scary-at-all story will introduce the cult TV show to an entire new generation of fans.
X Marks the Spot: Treasure Island (Cracked Classics #5)
by Tony AbbottFrankie and Devin find themselves on the treasure hunt of a lifetime when the library zapper gates send them to "Treasure Island". They team up with young Jim Hawkins in a race for secretly stashed pirate gold. But they'll have to battle it out first against the infamous Long John Silver and his deadly buccaneers!
X Marks the Spot: (Treasure Island) (Cracked Classics #5)
by Tony AbbottTwo sixth graders are magically swept away to Treasure Island, where they must match wits with legendary pirate Long John Silver. When best friends Devin and Frankie—short for Francine—get a tough assignment in their English class, they know there&’s only one way to handle it. Read the book? Nah, that&’s for suckers. Devin and Frankie just take the novel to the library and toss it through the magic metal detector, which sucks them into the world of the book, allowing them to experience the novel firsthand. Most of the time, this works great. This time, they get marooned on Treasure Island. The moment they step into Robert Louis Stevenson&’s classic pirate novel, Devin and Frankie find themselves neck deep in a hunt for buried treasure along with Long John Silver and his gang of cutthroats. These two wisecracking slackers will need to avoid rocking the boat—or they may have to walk the plank. School Library Journal has called the Devin and Frankie novels &“reminiscent of Mary Pope Osborne&’s &‘Magic Tree House&’ series, but for an older audience.&” X Marks the Spot is another lively introduction to the classics for reluctant readers.
X-Treme Latin
by Henry BeardIn staff meetings and singles bars, on freeways and fairways, there are aggravating people lurking everywhere these days. But bestselling humorist Henry Beard has the perfect comeback for all prickly situations, offering a slew of quips your nemesis won't soon forget . . . or even understand. Beard's gift is his ability to make fun of popular culture and the current zeitgeist. In X-Treme Latin he provides Latin with an attitude, an indispensable phrasebook that taps the secret power of Latin to deliver, in total safety, hundreds of impeccable put-downs, comebacks, and wisecracks. Within its pages you will learn how to insult or fire coworkers; blame corporate scandals on someone else; cheer at a World Wrestling Entertainment match; talk back to your computer, TV, or Game Boy; deal with your road rage; evade threatening situations; snowboard in style; talk like Tony Soprano; and much more. With dozens more zingers for quashing e-mail pranks, psyching out your golf opponent, giving backhanded compliments, and evading awkward questions, X-Treme Latin is destined for magnus popularity and will have readers cheering, "Celebremus!"
X20: A Novel of (Not) Smoking
by Richard BeardGregory Simpson is thirty and trying to quit, keeping ten fingers glued to a keyboard in order to fight their incessant ache to hold a burning paper tube filled with dead leaves. In twenty entries in twenty days for twenty to a pack-one word for each cigarette inhaled over the course of ten smoke-filled years-he examines his life in tense, withdrawal-induced fits and starts: the friendships cemented and defined by nicotine; the intimate relationships crushed or stifled; the acrid, immoral and rebellious satisfactions. But with strength of purpose and improved concentration comes the sobering revelation that his habit is more political than personal. Even if he kicks, Gregory realizes, he's still living in a tobacco world.
The Xanth Novels, Books 38–40: Board Stiff, Five Portraits, and Isis Orb (The Xanth Novels)
by Piers AnthonyThree installments of the New York Times–bestselling series set in a land of enchantment filled with magic, surprises, adventure, and—best of all—puns! The world of Xanth is a wacky one full of offbeat heroes and surprising journeys. In these three volumes of this hilarious series, characters bumble their way through many misadventures to find their happy ending on the other side, aided and hindered by puns along the way. Board Stiff: Thanks to a mental typo and an ornery wishing well the once beautiful Irrelevant Kandy is now a board of wood—with mind control powers. And Ease wishes everything wasn’t so easy. Fortunately, Humfrey the Good Magician is there to provide them with a quest: saving the puns of Xanth. But who released a virus that could destroy Xanth’s essence, and will Kandy and Ease figure out how to stop it in time? Five Portraits: Astrid Basilisk is a sweet girl whose very glance is deadly. As she embarks on a selfless mission to save five difficult children from future Xanth, she must fight the pun virus that threatens to destroy the magical world. Isis Orb: Hapless has the ability to conjure any musical instrument he wants, but he can’t carry a tune in a bucket. All he wants is to learn to play an instrument and get a girlfriend. When the Good Magician hears about his desperate desire, he sends Hapless on a quest to find the elusive Isis Orb, a magical talisman that could fulfill his wish. But the mysterious Egyptian goddess guarding it isn’t going to let him simply take it.
The Xanth Novels, Books 41–43: Ghost Writer in the Sky, Fire Sail, and Jest Right (The Xanth Novels)
by Piers AnthonyThree entries from the New York Times–bestselling epic fantasy series that&’s full of rip-roaring humor and nonstop adventure. Ghost Writer in the Sky Tartan and Tara, two Ordinary People from Mundania, travel through a portal to Xanth, a magical realm where they are met with a plea for help. Two princesses need them to stop the Night Colt and his ghost writer from causing chaos in their kingdom. Tartan and Tara don&’t hesitate to join the quest to save Xanth from the ultimate pun-tastrophe. Together with their new friends, they embark on a journey full of magic and romance—and, of course, puns—that will lead them to a long-lost prince, a beautiful dragoness, the goddess Isis, and a demon named Ted . . . Fire Sail Lydell, a shy, naïve man of twenty-one, and world-weary grandmother Grania cross paths when they beseech the Good Magician to add some excitement to the dull lives. The Good Magician promises to fulfill their hearts&’ desires on the condition they pilot a fireboat to its new proprietors, whoever—and wherever—they are. With an obnoxious bird and a robot dogfish for shipmates, the two sail off on a pun-tastic quest and far-flung fantasy adventure . . . Jest Right Jess is cursed to have no one take her seriously. When she meets the very handsome showman Magnus, he promises to fake taking her seriously—if she joins his traveling show. The Good Magician will let them use his flying Fire Boat to tour the realm if they complete a quest he can&’t remember. As Jess and Magnus try to unravel the mystery, they discover their true mission: to save Xanth from a big bird with a bone to peck . . . These books are the forty-first, forty-second, and forty-third books in the Xanth series respectively, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.
The Xenophobe's Guide To The Americans
by Stephanie FaulA preparatory travel guide for the apprehensive.