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The (Not Quite) Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book: Children's Edition
by Tim VineComedian and TV star, Tim Vine, will have you laughing for hours with this new, abridged version of his hilarious joke book . . .Velcro.What a rip off.Why do you never see an elephant on a bus? Because he's got a massive bum.So I went to the doctors. I said, 'I got hurt in a pillow fight.' He said, 'You've got concushion.'Believe it or not there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are peopleI tried to surf the Internet and I fell off my chairRead it to find these funny puns, plus many more original jokes and illustrations. You won't be able to put it down!
Of The People, By The People: A New History of Democracy
by Roger Osborne'Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.'Churchill had more reason than most to rue the power of democracy, having been thrown out of office after leading Britain to victory in 1945. Democracy, when viewed from above, has always been a fickle master; from below it is a powerful but fragile friend.Most books on democracy focus on political theory and analysis, in a futile attempt to define democracy. Of The People, By The People takes the opposite approach, telling the stories of the different democracies that have come into existence during the past two and half millennia. From Athens to Rhaetia, Jamestown to Delhi, and Putney to Pretoria, the book shows how democratic systems are always a reflection of the culture and history of their birthplaces, and come about through seizing fleeting opportunities. Democracy can only be understood through the fascinating and inspiring stories of the peoples who fought to bring it about.
Old Man Goriot
by Honoré de BalzacMonsieur Goriot is one of a disparate group of lodgers at Mademe Vauquer's dingy Parisian boarding house. At first his wealth inspires respect, but as his circumstances are mysteriously reduced he becomes shunned by those around him, and soon his only remaining visitors are his two beautifully dressed daughters. Goriot's fate is intertwined with two other fellow boarders: the young social climber Eugene Rastignac, who sees a way to gain the acceptance and wealth he craves, and the enigmatic figure of Vautrin, who is hiding darker secrets than anyone. Weaving a compelling and panoramic story of love, money, self-sacrifice, corruption, greed and ambition, Old Man Goriot is Balzac's acknowledged masterpiece. A key novel in his Comédie Humaine series, it is a vividly realized portrait of bourgeois Parisian society in the years following the French Revolution.
On His Majesty's Service: (The Matthew Hervey Adventures: 11): A tense, fast-paced unputdownable military page-turner from bestselling author Allan Mallinson (Matthew Hervey #11)
by Allan MallinsonPerfect for fans of Patrick O'Brian, Bernard Cornwell and CS Forester, another captivating Matthew Hervey adventure from the pen of THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR Allan Mallinson. "Allan Mallinson...has done for the British Army what C. S. Forester and Patrick O'Brian did for the Royal Navy, and his novels are every bit as addictive...Splendid, irresistible stuff" -- ALLAN MASSIE, SPECTATOR"A fascinating, lively romp" - THE TIMES"With each successive novel, Mallinson grows in stature as an author; one looks forward eagerly to the next instalment of Hervey's life." -- LONDON EVENING STANDARD"Another great book from a brilliant author" -- ***** Reader review"Magnificent!" -- ***** Reader review"This is a must series to follow" -- ***** Reader review******************************************************************January 1829: George IV is on the throne, Wellington is England's prime-minister, and the population has been enjoying long-term peace. But this happy state of affairs means cuts in the army, and Hervey is told that his regiment, the Sixth, are to be reduced to a single squadron.With his long-term plans in disarray, he undertakes instead a six-month assignment as an observer with the Russian army. Soon Hervey, his friend Edward Fairbrother and his faithful groom, Private Johnson, are sailing north to St Petersburg, and from there to the Eastern Balkans, and the ferocious war between Russia and the Ottoman Empire.Hervey is meant to be an impartial spectator, but soon the circumstances - and his own nature - propel him into a more active role. In the climactic Battle of Kulewtscha, Hervey and Fairbrother find themselves in the thick of the action.For Matthew Hervey, the stakes have never been higher - or more personal.
On the Slow Train Again
by Michael WilliamsMichael Williams has spent the past year travelling along the fascinating rail byways of Britain for this new collection of journeys. Here is the 'train to the end of the world' running for more than four splendid hours through lake, loch and moorland from Inverness to Wick, the most northerly town in Britain. He discovers a perfect country branch line in London's commuterland, and travels on one of the slowest services in the land along the shores of the lovely Dovey estuary to the far west of Wales. He takes the stopping train across the Pennines on a line with so few services that its glorious scenery is a secret known only to the regulars. Here, too, is the Bittern Line in Norfolk and the Tarka Line in North Devon as well as the little branch line to the fishing port of Looe in Cornwall, rescued from closure in the 1960s and now celebrating its 150th anniversary taking families on holiday to the seaside. From the most luxurious and historic - aboard the Orient Express - to the most futuristic - on the driverless trains of London's Docklands Light Railway - here is a unique travel companion celebrating the treasures of our railway heritage from one of Britain's most knowledgeable railway writers.
One Day at a Time: A Memoir
by Susan LewisShe was only nine when her world fell apart. The struggle to understand took a lifetime.In 1960s Bristol, Susan's family was like any other with its joys and frustrations, and fierce loyalties. Then tragedy struck and left a legacy that was to last a lifetime.Susan was only nine when her mother died. A year later she was sent away to school. She didn't want to go, and didn't understand why she had to. In her struggle to cope with an uncertain world - a world where nothing seemed to make sense any more - she pushed away the one person she loved best, her father. It wasn't until adulthood beckoned that she realised that, in order to turn their relationship around, she had to learn to love - and trust - again.
One Last Goodbye: Sometimes only a mother's love can help end the pain
by Kay GilderdaleWatching her child die is the hardest thing a mother can ever do. But for Kay Gilderdale, saying a final goodbye to her only daughter Lynn was exceptionally painful: she'd played a part in her death.Lynn was just 14 when she was struck down by the crippling disease ME, leaving her paralysed and in constant agony. Over the next 17 years, she became desperate to escape her miserable existence, even begging her mum to help her die. So, one night, when Kay found Lynn attempting suicide, she was forced to make an impossible decision. Continue watching her child suffer or help her end the pain?Eventually, fighting her every instinct, Kay helped her precious daughter take a fatal overdose. But while Lynn was finally free, her mother faced a fresh agony - a possible lifetime behind bars. The highly controversial trial that followed opened a fierce public debate on assisted suicide. Is it murder or mercy?Here, in her heartbreaking story, Kay reveals the harrowing truth behind the headlines and the desperate lengths a mother will go to for the love of a child.
Operation Crossbow: The Untold Story of the Search for Hitler’s Secret Weapons
by Allan WilliamsThe story of the photographic intelligence work undertaken from a country house at Medmenham, Buckinghamshire, is one of the great lost stories of the Second World War . At its peak in 1944, almost 2,000 British and American men and women worked at the top-secret Danesfield House, interpreting photographs - the majority stereoscopic so they could be viewed in 3D - to unlock secrets of German military activity and weapons development. Millions of aerial photographs were taken by Allied pilots, flying unarmed modified Spitfires and Mosquitos on missions over Nazi Europe. it was said that an aircraft could land, the photographs be developed and initial interpretation completed within two hours - marking the culmination of years of experiments in aerial intelligence techniques.Their finest hour began in 1943, during the planning stages of the Allied invasion of Europe, when Douglas Kendall, who masterminded the interpretation work at Medmenham, led the hunt for Hitler's secret weapons. Operation Crossbow would grow from a handful of photographic interpreters to the creation of a hand-picked team, and came to involve interpreters from across the Medmenham spectrum, including the team of aircraft specialists led by the redoubtable Constance Babington Smith. In November that year, whilst analysing photographs of Peenemunde in northern Germany, they spotted a small stunted aircraft on a ramp. This intelligence breakthrough linked the Nazi research station with a growing network of sites in northern France, where ramps were being constructed aligned not only with London, but targets throughout southern Britain.Through the combined skill and dedication of the Crossbow team and the heroism of the Allied pilots, throughout late 1943 and 1944 V-weapon launch sites were located and through countermeasures destroyed, saving hundreds of thousands of lives, and changing the course of the war.Operation Crossbow is a wonderful story of human endeavour and derring-do, told for the first time.
Oranges and Sunshine: Empty Cradles
by Margaret HumphreysAlso published as Empty Cradles.In 1986 Margaret Humphreys, a Nottingham social worker, investigated a woman's claim that, aged four, she had been put on a boat to Australia by the British government. At first incredulous, Margaret discovered that this was just the tip of an enormous iceberg. Up to 150,000 children, some as young as three years old, had been deported from children's homes in Britain and shipped off to a 'new life' in distant parts of the Empire, right up until as recently as 1970.Many were told that their parents were dead, and parents often believed that their children had been adopted in Britain. In fact, for many children it was to be a life of horrendous physical and sexual abuse far away from everything they knew. Margaret reveals how she unravelled this shocking secret and how it became her mission to reunite these innocent and unwilling exiles with their families in Britain before it was too late.
Orientation and Other Stories: And Other Stories
by Daniel OrozcoBreakfast's boiled egg, the overhead hum of fluorescent lights, the midmorning coffee break—daily routines keep the world running. But when people are pushed—by a coworker's taunt, a face-to-face encounter with a woman in free fall from a bridge—cracks appear, revealing alienation, casual cruelty, madness, and above all a simultaneous hunger for and fear of the unknown. Daniel Orozco leads the reader through the hidden lives and moral philosophies of bridge painters, men housebound by obesity, office temps, and warehouse workers. He reveals the secret pleasures of late-night supermarket trips for cookie binges, exceptional data entry, and an exiled dictator's occasional piss on the U.S. embassy. A love affair blooms between two officers in the impartially worded pages of a police blotter; a new employee's first-day office tour includes descriptions of other workers' most private thoughts and actions; during an earthquake, the consciousness of the entire state of California shakes free for examination. Orientation introduces a writer at the height of his powers, whose work surely invites us to reassess the landscape of American fiction.Orientation is a Kirkus Reviews Best of 2011 Short Story Collections title.
Our Mutual Friend
by Charles Dickens'Perhaps his greatest work. The great novel of London: dark, wise, unsentimental' William BoydWITH AN INTRODUCTION BY NICK HORNBY John Harmon returns to England after years in exile to claim his inheritance: a great fortune and a beautiful young woman to whom he is betrothed, but has never met. When Harmon's body is pulled out of the Thames, all of London is fascinated by the mystery of the murdered man and his unclaimed riches. Scavengers, social-climbers, lawyers and teachers, a money-lender and a dolls-dressmaker, men and women both honest and villainous, will all become embroiled in this tale of love and obsession, death and rebirth. **One of the BBC’s 100 Novels That Shaped Our World**
Our Yanks: A feel good wartime romance you won't be able to put down...
by Margaret MayhewPerfect for fans of Donna Douglas, Rosie Clarke and Katie Flynn, a heart-warming saga set during World War II from bestselling author Margaret Mayhew.READERS ARE LOVING OUR YANKS!"Omg this book was everything and more than i expected. My ideal book as i love family saga books. Loved that it showed how the Yanks got involved with the girls during wartime . Highs and lows of everyday life. Loved, loved ,loved it" - 5 STARS"The type of book where one found it hard to put down until the end." - 5 STARS"Excellent book, village life with the Yanks very warming story." - 5 STARS"Loved this saga ,drew me right in. I could not put this book down. The small town the characters the Yanks. I loved leaving my world and entering their lives. An author whose books I will be devouring." - 5 STARS"As always with Margaret Mayhew books, this one hasn't failed to please..."- 5 STARS"Brilliant story, held me in its grasp..."- 5 STARS*********************************"I STILL REMEMBER THE YANKS, ALMOST MORE THAN I DO THE WAR..." -- A Suffolk Woman. August 1943. A fighter group of US airmen descends upon the quiet and sleepy village of King's Thorpe in Northamptonshire. The village has never seen the like of them before: they are glamorous, rich, exciting and full of bravado. While some of the older residents are dismayed, many of the younger ones cannot help but be won over by their charms. And for many - including young Sally Barnet from the bakery, Agnes Dawe - the Rector's daughter, and newly-widowed Lady Beauchamp, they will have a long-lasting impact.It will be a summer many will never forget...
Out of the Ashes: The Remarkable Rise and Rise of the Afghanistan cricket team
by Tim AlboneCool Runnings meets Joseph O'Neill's Netherland in an inspiring and feel-good story of bravery and sporting success from a country so widely known for war and extremism. This is the true story of the Afghanistan cricket team and their extraordinary attempt to join the world's elite cricketing nations. That this devastated nation should be able to field a cricket team at all, let alone one as successful as this, is an unbelievable achievement. Seven years ago, in a country which does not have a real cricket pitch even today, there was no national team. But a group of young Afghan men, exiled by war, learnt to play in the smashed concrete of refugee camps, and have risen from obscurity to the groomed grass pitches of international cricket.With unlimited access, Tim Albone travelled alongside the team for the two years, charting the players' progress from refugees in Pakistan to the brink of international sporting stardom. Far from being bogged down in cricket jargon, this tale of a gang of dedicated, charismatic, occasionally exasperating young men seeking triumph out of disaster is one that will move and inspire everyone.Foreword by Mike Atherton.
The Outlaw Varjak Paw (Varjak Paw #2)
by SF SaidThe second adventure in the life of the extraordinary Mesopotamian Blue, Varjak Paw: kung fu for cats!Having saved the city cats from a fate worse than death, Varjak Paw finds himself the elected and popular leader of a new gang - a gang that supports freedom and kindness for all. But will the pressure take its toll on this brave yet sometimes naive cat?Soon the city erupts in an all-out gang war as the evil Sally Bones attempts to control the lives of all cats. Horrified and outnumbered, Varjak and the others must fight for their freedom or die trying; can Jalal's Way really be the best way?This is another thrilling adventure, eagerly awaited by all Varjak fans, both young and old.Winner of the Blue Peter Award in 2007
Paradise
by Katie PriceThe sensational novel from Katie Price featuring glamour, gossip and celebrity lifestyles.When glamorous model Angel was forced to make a life-changing decision and choose between a Ethan, the laid-back Californian baseball player, and giving her marriage to football star Cal another go, many were stunned when she picked Ethan. But life in LA is good: Ethan adores her and Honey and their life could not be more glamorous.
The Pariah
by Graham MastertonThe quaint little seaside town of Granitehead seemed like a perfect place for John and Jane Trenton to start their life together. But disaster strikes and Jane and their unborn child are killed. John's grief is total, so when he starts to see the ghostly apparition of his wife he almost welcomes this supernatural phenomenon. Yet all is not what it seems, and this sinister spirit is not Jane, but something altogether evil and terrifying. In a bid to rid himself of this horrific spectre he soon finds that many more in the town have been victims of unwanted visitations. And when he discovers the body of a local busybody, impossibly impaled on a still hanging chandelier, he knows something must be done. But how do you kill the undead?As he searches for an explanation he uncovers a link to a mysterious ship, lost around the time of the nearby Salem witch trials. For three centuries the rotting wreck of the David Dark has lain beneath waves, but an awful secret is concealed in the chill waters...
Particle Theory: A Novel
by Jonathan Gathorne-HardyTwo orphaned boys - one Russian (Ivan), and one British (Michael) -may or may not be brothers, Ivan is brought up brutally on the bleak rural steppes, while Michael is cosseted by his grandmother in the Home Counties. And yet they coexist in a sort of parallel universe' their lives interconnected, physically in the text, as well as throug a common yearning - to discover their origins and purpose in life and to find elusive romantic and emotional fulfilment. Ivan manages to escape from his past and present to find a new life abroad. He is in almost constant motion, where Michael remains more or less rooted to the spot. His journey of discovery is through a strange, obsessive internal landscape. Gathorne-Hardy combines a rare narrative skill with compassion and humour
Pasajes de la Guerra Revolucionaria: Congo (The Che Guevara Library)
by Ernesto Che GuevaraEn abril de 1965, el Che Guevara se marcha de La Habana al Congo para dirigir a 200 veteranos cubanos que asisten al movimiento de liberación africana contra los colonialistas belgas, cuatro años después del asesinato del presidente socialista democráticamente electo, Patrice Lumumba.Porque el diario trata el admitido "fracaso" del Che, examina cada detalle doloroso de lo sucedido para poder extraer enseñanzas constructivas para futuros movimientos guerrilleros.Único entre sus libros, Pasajes de la Guerra Revolucionaria: Congo es un retrato del Che brutalmente honesto que ilustra su capacidad como cuentista; en sus relatos de los fascinantes episodios de conflicto armado de la guerrilla no hay hesitación, endulzamiento o jerga. Algunos lo consideran el mejor libro del Che, también es uno de los pocos que editó para la publicación luego de escribirlo.
The Past is Myself & The Road Ahead Omnibus: When I Was a German, 1934-1945: omnibus edition of two bestselling wartime memoirs that depict life in Nazi Germany with alarming honesty
by Christabel BielenbergBrought together for the first time in one edition, both of Christabel Bielenberg's bestselling memoirs give an incredibly moving, emotionally charged and compelling insight into life in Nazi Germany during The Third Reich and during the aftermath of World War Two. Offering a new perspective, this is a must-read for anyone interested in the wartime era.'This is one of the best WWII books I have ever read' -- ***** Reader review'An excellent book and a must-read for anyone interested in this era' -- ***** Reader review'Absorbing' -- ***** Reader review'Intensely moving' -- ***** Reader review'A wonderful book. I couldn't put it down' -- ***** Reader review***********************************************************************************************The Past is MyselfChristabel Bielenberg, a niece of newspaper magnate Lord Northcliffe, married a German lawyer in 1934. She lived through the war in Germany, as a German citizen under the horrors of Nazi rule and Allied bombings. The Past is Myself is her story of that experience - and an unforgettable portrait of an evil time.The Road AheadFollowing the extraordinary success of her wartime memoir, The Past is Myself, Christabel Bielenberg received thousands of letters from readers begging her to describe what happened next. In The Road Ahead she continues her story with the outbreak of peace - a time of struggle for reconciliation with, and the rebuilding of, a defeated nation. She also tells of life in her newly adopted country, Ireland, her involvement with the Peace Women of Northern Ireland, and with characteristic modesty and gratitude, looks back on a rich, full life.Anyone interested in the Second World War and life in the 1930s and 1940s will devour these unflinchingly honest and enthralling memoirs, published together in one edition for the first time.
The Pathfinder: A gripping and heartbreaking wartime romance that will stay with you forever…
by Margaret MayhewPerfect for fans of Katie Flynn, Fiona Valpy and Kristin Hannah, a powerful and moving saga set in the aftermath of World War II from bestselling author Margaret Mayhew. READERS ARE LOVING THE PATHFINDER!"An exciting book to read. It was very gripping, emotional, happy and sad. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. The characters were strong, interesting and the story kept me wanting to know what happened..." - 5 STARS"I could not put this book down..." - 5 STARS"Wonderful stuff..."- 5 STARS"I loved every page..."- 5 STARS"This is a brilliant story...I was sorry when it ended..." - 5 STARS********************************************A CITY DIVIDED BY WAR. TWO LOVERS ON OPPOSING SIDES. CAN THEIR LOVE SURVIVE?Berlin 1948. The defeated city lies in ruins. Divided by the Allies and set deep behind Russian lines, it is a city of want, wretchedness and sleaze. Lili Leicht is now fighting for survival under Russian rule and dependent on aid from the British - the nation that killed her mother.Yet when she meets Squadron Leader Michael Harrison - now himself having to bring food and fuel to the surviving Berliners - a people he bombed and who he connects with the murder of his sister and her children - a spark ignites...Can their love surmount the prejudices and hatred born of war?
Patrick The Party-Hater
by Emily SmithBalloons? Sausages on sticks? An entertainer? Oh NO! It must be a party . . .Patrick loves making models and creating his own inventions. He does not love Musical Bumps, big crowds and having to be jolly. But his mum is convinced that going to parties is good for him. She even wants him to have one of his own. Surely there must be a better idea?
The Payback: (Dennis Milne: book 3): a punchy, race-against-time thriller from bestselling author Simon Kernick (Dennis Milne #3)
by Simon KernickA gripping thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat from Sunday Times bestselling author Simon Kernick, the UK's answer to Harlan Coben."Pace, pace pace is what Kernick does best" - DAILY MIRROR"Delights, excites and stimulates, and the only reason you consume it so quickly is because it's so damn good" - GQ"Fast moving and a gripping race to the dénouement." -- ***** Reader review"Great read, Simon Kendrick is a fantastic writer, kept me on the edge of my seat the whole way through this book, couldn't wait to read every page." -- ***** Reader review"Completely compelling" -- ***** Reader review**************************************************************TWO COPS. ONE CITY. NO MERCY.Dennis Milne is a former cop and part-time assassin. He kills the bad guys - people who, in his opinion, deserve to die. Now he's in Manila, waiting for his next target: a young woman who's made some deadly enemies.DI Tina Boyd is in Manila hunting down the man responsible for the death of her lover. She knows he's dangerous. She knows he's ruthless. But she's determined to bring him to justice - even if it kills her.Two cops with pasts that haunt them - and a present that could see them both dead.They are about to meet.And when they do, it's payback time.
The Penguin Jazz Guide: The History of the Music in the 1000 Best Albums
by Brian Morton Richard CookThe Penguin Guide to Jazz Recordings is firmly established as the world's leading guide to recorded jazz, a mine of fascinating information and a source of insightful - often wittily trenchant - criticism. This is something rather different: Brian Morton (who taught American history at UEA) has picked out the 1000 best recordings that all jazz fans should have and shows how they tell the history of the music and with it the history of the twentieth century. He has completely revised his and Richard Cook's entries and reassessed each artist's entry for this book. The result is an endlessly browsable companion that will prove required reading for aficionados and jazz novices alike.'It's the kind of book that you'll yank off the shelf to look up a quick fact and still be reading two hours later' Fortune'Part jazz history, part jazz Karma Sutra with Cook and Morton as the knowledgeable, urbane, wise and witty guides ... This is one of the great books of recorded jazz; the other guides don't come close' Irish Times
Perfect: 68 Essential Recipes for Every Cook's Repertoire
by Felicity CloakeWhether you're a competent cook or have just caught the bug, Perfect has a place in every kitchen.Is there a foolproof way to poach an egg? What's the secret of perfect pastry? Could a glass of milk turn a good Bolognese into a great one?The Guardian's 'How to Make' food columnist Felicity Cloake is on a mission to find the perfect staple dishes - from spag bol to brownies to fish pie. Having rigorously tried and tested recipes from all the greats - including Elizabeth David, Delia Smith and Nigel Slater - Felicity has pulled together the best points from each to create the perfect version of 68 classic dishes.Never again will you have to rifle through countless different books to find the your perfect roast chicken recipe, mayonnaise method or that incredible tomato sauce - they're all here.'Brilliant . . . finely honed culinary instincts, an open mind and a capacious cookbook collection . . . Miss Cloake has them all' Evening Standard
Perfect Christmas Day: 15 Essential Recipes for the Perfect Christmas (Penguin Specials)
by Felicity CloakePenguin Specials are designed to fill a gap. Written to be read over a long commute or a short journey, they are original and exclusively in digital form.Christmas dinner is perhaps the one meal of the year where even the most relaxed cook feels the pressure of perfection - and, although few menus can be more familiar, it's probably the one we all feel the least confident about.Cooking Christmas dinner can be stressful, but there's no need to rifle through recipe books, or frantically Google turkey cooking times on Christmas morning as Felicity Cloake has tried and tested recipes from all the greats - from Nigella Lawson and Simon Hopkinson to Delia Smith and Mrs Beeton - and pulled together the best points from each to come up with the ultimate Christmas Day recipe collection. Based on Felicity's popular Guardian column, Perfect Christmas Day combines invaluable prepping and cooking tips to calm the most frazzled of festive souls and, of course, fifteen delicious recipes. From mulled wine, blinis, stilton soufflés and the perfect prawn cocktail to turkey and gravy, stuffing, sprouts, roast potatoes, pigs-in-blankets, nut roast, and cranberry and bread sauce, to trifle, mince pies and brandy butter, Perfect Christmas Day is all you need to prepare the perfect Christmas dinner.